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Friday, March 24, 2006

Britney’s Sculptural Birth

Posted by on March 24 at 11:04 AM

For all those who’ve been waiting for a sculptural depiction of Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug, the wait is over.


Created by Daniel Edwards and scheduled for display next month at Brooklyn’s Capla Kesting Fine Art Gallery, Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston is being hyped as “the first Pro-Life monument to birth.”

In the words of the gallery: “Natural aspects of Spears’ pregnancy, like lactiferous breasts and protruding naval, compliment a posterior view that depicts widened hips for birthing and reveals the crowning of baby Sean’s head…The monument also acknowledges the pop-diva’s pin-up past by showing Spears seductively posed on all fours atop a bearskin rug with back arched, pelvis thrust upward, as she clutches the bear’s ears with `water-retentive’ hands.”

For full info on the exhibition, go here.

CommentsRSS icon

I fear for my life for saying this, but I think this sculpture looks like Charlize Theron.

I'm seeing Angelina Jolie, myself.

And couldn't this just as easily be seen as a pro-choice (if not outright pro-abortion) statement? Or is it just me?

Does no one else catch the 'pro-life' irony? She's on a bearskin rug!

Oh my - that certainly would be a conversation piece, wouldn't it? Do you think they'll produce a version that can be used as a coffee table base? Do you think they'll sell it at the Bon Marche or Levitz? I love it at Levitz!

Does no one at the gallery know how to spell "navel"?


i think i just threw up in my mouth.

This is just the worst fucking thing ever.

Oh hell no. No you did not.

Thanks, longball, for bringing "fucking" into my mental image of this horror.

It would be a "fucking thing" if they made a blow-up version. This one looks hard and I doubt they've included any orifices.

Great, now I'm going to be walking around work all day with a boner...
er, what?

That ain't no birthing position I'VE ever heard of. She's making poor, little Sean swim upstream.

agreed with the comment that this affront to the senses would be a far better pro-choice statement. particularly when considering it was kevin federline's super sperm that subjected us to this horror show in the first place.

I'll grant you that I've never actually witnessed a woman giving birth before, but I've never even heard of a woman giving birth face down with her ass in the air like that. Call me ignorant, but is that even possible? Or desirable? Any female persons out there who have actually given birth care to comment?

As a woman who has given birth, and is also way too into my celebrity rag-mags, here's what I know:

A. Britney was hoping for a cesarean, which she got. If she hadn't, she probably would have been begging for an epidural since her mother had gone to great lengths to tell her how horrible and gruesome an experience labor and delivery are.
B. I had a nice big epidural, and I wasn't walking for about 2 hours after having the cutest baby in the world. So if she had gotten the epidural, I doubt that she'd still be able to hold that position for very long, considering my legs kept sliding off the pillows and my nurses had to keep putting them back on them.
C. Way too much information, I know, but SDA in SEA asked.

In just about that exact position (sans bear rug) i can produce farts on demand. Roughly the equivilent of the spawn of Brittney and Kevin.

I think it's hot.

Jabba will be pleased when Britney and her partially-born child are delivered and unfrozen.

I love it. These goddess, vaginal, birthing things are very Euro.

When the baby is on its way nature wins. It seems the canal is sort of horizontal, and should work OK - if she keeps her legs wide spread.

Can we get a copy for the new
Statue Garden?

Call SAM.

Super sperm, what a concept. Coupled with other supers.

I would rather talk about her giving birth than her music.

elbows and knees is a great position from which to get relief from back labor while hands and knees is a better position from which to give birth. However, I'd be interested in seeing the "crowning head". Dimes to dollars that the suture lines on the baby's head (if the sculptor got that realistic) are wrong---not too many folks besides midwives are used to birth "upside down.

That's hot.

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