It has been brought to my attention that you are upset about a certain Slog item. The dig that annoyed you, Philip, wasn’t actually aimed at you. Your bosses, all men, have described your workplace as a matriarchy, and that’s what the “ladies with penisesâ€� joke was about. We certainly don’t think you’re a lady with a penis—not that there’s anything wrong with being a lady, having a penis, or being a lady who has a penis. The Stranger is for all of those things.

But, if it makes you feel better, we’ll post this clarification: That Slog item was false, a tissue of lies, riddled with errors. For the record Philip is not a woman, nor does he have a penis.