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Monday, February 20, 2006

Quite Possibly the Dumbest Person Alive

Posted by on February 20 at 16:40 PM

From Amy Dickinson’s advice column (originally published in the Chicago Tribune):

Dear Amy: My husband and I have lived in our quiet suburban Denver neighborhood for six years.

About two years ago two young gay men moved in across the street. They’ve taken the ugliest, most run-down property in the neighborhood and remodeled and transformed it into the pride of the street.

When it snows, they shovel out my car and are friendly, yet they mostly keep to themselves.

Last month I went out to retrieve my newspaper and watched them kiss each other goodbye and embrace as they each left for work.

I was appalled that they would do something like that in plain view of everyone.

I was so disturbed that I spoke to my pastor. He encouraged me to draft a letter telling them how much we appreciate their help but asking them to refrain from that behavior in our neighborhood.

I did so and asked a few of our neighbors to sign it.

Since I delivered it, I’ve not been able to get them to even engage me in conversation.

I offer greetings but they’ve chosen to ignore me.

They have made it so uncomfortable for the other neighbors and me by not even acknowledging our presence.

How would you suggest we open communications with them and explain to them that we value their contributions to the neighborhood but will not tolerate watching unnatural and disturbing behavior.

— Wondering

Dear Wondering: You’re lucky that these gentlemen merely choose to ignore you.

Your neighbors could respond to your hospitality by hosting weekly outdoor “gay pride” barbecues and inviting all of their friends to enjoy life on your quiet suburban street.

I can hold out hope that they will choose to do this, but I’m spiteful in that way. Your neighbors sound much more kind.

In your original petition to these men, you basically stated that while you value them when they are raising the standard on your street and shoveling your driveway, you loathe them for being who they are.

The only way to open communication with your neighbors would be to start by apologizing to them for engaging your other neighbors in your campaign. Because you don’t sound likely to apologize, you are just going to have to tolerate being ignored.

(Via Daily Kos.)


CommentsRSS icon

priceless.

omigod. that story kind of made me want to puke.

I know there are people out there this dumb, but the letter just doesn't ring true.

I guess he might travel a lot, but it seems strange that the husband disappears entirely after the first sentence. I have a hard time imagining the churchgoing suburban husband who makes a habit out of letting any neighbors, gay or straight, dig out his wife's car...

They could be elderly.

Gosh, these responses are just *so* Seattle. When will this city learn that there is a world outside of this Liberal hellhole, where people have *values* and stick to them? (Of course, you wouldn't know this from the Liberal media and their "advice columnists!")

I grew up in a family that changed churches every couple of years. So I'm pretty familiar with the different churches and denominations out there.

I will tell you from personal experience that people who go to their pastors for advice, react like this to things they don't agree with.

Promise keepers, sermons on homosexuality, and youth group all influence countless people into believing that people who don't follow the bible are wrong and need saving.

It's been a number of years since I gave up the ghost, but I'll spend the rest of my life feeling sorry for these people and dealing with a nice conservative christian family.

I know one thing for sure though, I love living in "sin". I'd never go back.

My rich gay cousin outside of Kansas City had a similar problem with one of his neighbors that escalated into a similar problem with all of the neighbors.

Granted, I've gleaned from the retelling that my cousin (always a confrontational fuck) was confrontational from the get go, but basically the same thing happened and three neighborhood husbands came to his door and asked he and his partner not to have their gay sex parties in the backyard pool anymore.

Actually, I'm sure they weren't sex parties because they're monogamous and I've been to a few of them, and they're just loud, **GAY** pool parties (that honestly I wouldn't want to live next door to either).

My husband and I had a house in a conservative suburb of San Francisco for a couple of years. I caught this story on Google this morning and it rang totally true. Many of our neighbors attended a nearby megachurch. The suburban churchgoing husbands in our neighborhood were lazy trash. Conversations typically were short and polite, and they acknowleged the work we did to improve the house and property values. I don't doubt they were repulsed by our P.D.A.s and thought it a shame we'd burn in Hell.

The thing that strikes me in all this is the appalling disconnect in this woman's mind between economic and spiritual/moral values: home repair & snow shoveling=good; Gay Public Display of Affection=bad.

Not to mention, the complete cluelessness of her response, but, whatever.

Oh, and Eat Me, if you can't stomach living in this "liberal Hell hole", I'm sure there are plenty of other places that would welcome you with open arms; perhaps the neighborhood in this story for example.

I'm not at all surprised by her homophobia. I've become accustomed to that over the years. Lotsa people don't like gays. I get that. What astounds me is her complete ignorance of her own homophobia.

Lots of people hate gays, they know they hate gays, and they treat gays with unapologetic open hostility. I don't like it, but I can deal with it. It's nasty, but at least it is the honest truth for them. But this woman is so delusion that she actually thinks she likes these guys, thinks she's being polite, and thinks she is doing the right thing. How can someone be that oblivious to their own homophobia?

People like the woman who wrote that letter don't acknowledge the existence of homophobia. For them, gay is not something one is, it is something one does, and they often believe even gay people think of their behavior as sick. That's what the preacher man tell her. Her condition is a common enough pathology. The gay couple in this transaction would have done well to respond to her letter sincerely and drop some education on the biach.

People this ignorant and hateful certainly exist, and in great numbers. If you think this doesn't ring true, you're not paying attention.

And homophobia... Lately I'm getting really irritated by the word itself. It's not a phobia, it's just bigotry. Labeling it a phobia removes all responsibility from the bigot, as if it's not their fault, it's just like being afraid of spiders. These attitudes are not a resultof pathological fear, they're learned hatred and intolerance.

Maybe the KKK aren't racists, they're just blackophobes.

I know it's semantics, but it pisses me off.

"They have made it so uncomfortable for the other neighbors and me by not even acknowledging our presence."

Yeah. THEY made it uncomfortable.

Fer fucks sake.

Glad the advice lady got bitchy about it.

Good point. Bigotry is a much better word for it. And speaking of the end of the world... what a morning for news, huh?

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