Among the many items that helped the Strangercrombie ‘05 holiday gift auction raise a record $39K for Northwest Harvest was a package that’s become an annual favorite, in which the Stranger Distribution Team comes over in a big van to help you move.

Purchased for a most reasonable $202.50, this year’s Stranger-distro-team-helps-you-move extravaganza went down this past Sunday, when the distro crew descended on a houseboat docked in the Gasworks Marina, inhabited by a man employed as a Dungeons & Dragons webmaster for Wizards of the Coast and described by distro leader Kevin as “super nice.” Further specifics on the move—from the man’s loaded boat to a roomy Capitol Hill home—are supplied by Kevin (he’s the one with the busted toof and shockingly smooth thighs) below.

Did you have to move any pianos?
“No pianos, just a bunch of boxes, some with comedic labels like ‘EXOTIC SPICES FROM AFAR,’ ‘MAN-EATING PLANTS,’ and ‘SEX TOYS.’ That one was was really light. And there was a giant TV, which was playing the game. It was the last thing we hauled off the boat and the first thing we plugged in at the house.”

Were you offered any booze, drugs, or ‘swingvitations’?
“No drugs or swing invites, but he supplied us with beer and let us smoke on the deck of his boat.”

Anything to add?
“No. The guy was great, we got off easy. Plus, on the day of the move, I wore the ‘Drunk of the Week’ shirt I won this terrible weekend last month. Everywhere I went, people treated me like royalty. It was weird.”

Look for more Strangercrombie intrigue in next week’s paper (the one coming one week from today…).

“Swingvitation” is the registered neologism of Jake Nelson.