I’m reminded of a funny story: I tried Wellbutrin, not to quit smoking (I used the patch for that), but to help combat the constant feeling that the world and I would both be better off if I killed myself. After a day or two, the effects were unbelievably positive; for the first time in 20+years of active, chronic depression, I felt I could see a way through the miasma. And it had a nice buzz, to boot. Plus: no sexual side effects, and no weight gain (again, unlike quitting smoking, which cost me 30 pounds). Everybody wins!

Then, exactly three weeks into my treatment, I awoke to find myself vigorously scratching my shin. My leg and hand were wet with my own blood, which was now flowing onto the sheets. I was scratching so hard in my sleep that the skin was tearing away. When I woke more fully, i discovered that my entire body was covered in big red hives, and these mammoth super-hives known as angioedema. The look and feel of these super-sized welts made it seem as though someone had subcutaneously inserted upside-down saucers into random parts of my anatomy. The pain, itching, and embarrassment were as bad as any I’d ever felt. I quit the Wellbutrin, got some shots, and began the course of steroids that got the swelling down within a week or two.

Then, a few months of severe depression later, my doctor and I decided it was ok to try Wellbutrin again, this time with the name brand version, and in conjunction with no other medication. Turns out the allergic reaction I suffered is the number one side effect of Wellbutrin’s generic brand, but only in the top 5 of the name brand. Despite my trepidation, the drug got to work immediately. It wasn’t that I stopped experiencing highs and lows, but rather that the path toward unprovoked despair suddenly seemed like a path, something I could more or less choose to avoid. It was a choice I relished, a life-altering shift in consciousness (a bit like quitting smoking, actually, only a million times more edifying). I relished it for exactly 21 days, whereupon the hives and angioedema returned, just like nothing had ever happened. I went back to the shots and steroids and threw the glorious pills away.

Anyway, good luck, Paul!