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Friday, December 16, 2005

The M’s on Everett: Can’t Think, Can Hit!

Posted by on December 16 at 13:48 PM

John, a Stranger and Slog reader, sent a note to the Ms to protest the teams decision to hire a brainless bigot. Here’s the Ms response:

Dear John,

Thank you for your email regarding the announcement that the Seattle Mariners have signed Carl Everett to a one-year contract. We welcome your comments and appreciate the passion with which you have expressed your opinion.

We believe Carl Everett will be an asset to the Mariners both on and off the field. We are aware of the issues that Carl had in the past, but we believe he has dealt with them and has successfully moved on. We hope fans will give him a chance here in Seattle.

As with every player we sign, Bill Bavasi and his staff have done a thorough job researching Carl. They have talked to numerous people throughout the game of baseball, including Ozzie Guillen, his manager last season. They are confident that Carl’s intensity, enthusiasm and competitive spirit will be a good for our team both on the field and in the clubhouse. As a switch-hitter, he will provide our lineup with versatility and the left-handed run production we need.

In addition, we like that Carl was a big contributor to a World Series Championship team in Chicago last year, when he batted .251 with 23 home runs and 87 RBI. In the post-season, he batted .300. 

Once again, thank you for taking the time to let us know your thoughts. We are looking forward to the 2006 season. We believe we have a good foundation in place with exciting young players like Felix Hernandez, Yuniesky Betancourt and Jose Lopez, and experienced veterans like Jamie Moyer, Richie Sexson, Adrian Beltre and Raul Ibañez. We still have work to do, but our goal is to become a championship caliber team as quickly as possible. We hope you will be there with us for all the excitement of Mariners baseball in 2006 and beyond.

Seattle Mariners Fancare

Okay, it’s hilarious that Everett’s a “switch-hitter.” Who knew? But I’d like to call attention to this line: “We believe Carl Everett will be an asset to the Mariners both on and off the field.” So… it seems that the Ms believe that Everett’s behavior off-the-field is just as relevent as his behavior on the field. Which means, of course, that Everett’s past statements and actions are fair game, deserving of comment, not out of bounds, etc.

So Andrew, commenting in Seattlest, has every right to make these points about Everett:

It would be one thing to hate him because he doesn’t believe in dinosaurs. It would be another to hate him because he is vocally homophobic. Lets not forget that he also headbutted an umpire, grabbed his crotch and spit at jamie moyer after hitting a home run, and abused his children enough so that the state of new york took his daughter away. I might even be able to overlook that if he were a good baseball player, but he isn’t anymore. He obviously in the decline phase of his career. There is no reason for him to be a mariner.

Here’s John’s thoughts about the letter the Ms sent him:

At least I now know the exact batting average that forgives child abuse. Granted, my family normally only goes to a handful of M’s games a year (I prefer the laid back, kid friendly Aquasox), but we’ll be going elsewhere this summer.

As for me, I’m going to the Ms games regardless. I don’t think the Ms should necessarily fire Everett. They should have thought twice about hiring him, but now that he’s on the team, well, what can you do? Firing him for being an idiot smacks of the thought police. I do think, however, that folks who find Everett’s idiotic comments offensive have every right to make a noise about it—and every right to make damn sure Everett hears some of the noise. To that end perhaps gay Ms fans should wear “Hey, Carl! We Exist!” t-shirts to games this year.

Professional athletes aren’t plaster saints—neither are, ahem, professional advice columnists—and no one expects them to be perfect, have perfect people skills, or be smarter than the average bundle of newspapers. But if, say, a John Rocker or a Carl Everett says something ridiculous and offensive, fans and other folks have a right to express our displeasure and make sure that Everett’s ridiculous opinions—opinions that only got an airing because Everett’s a baseball player—don’t go unchallenged.


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It's not exactly accurate to say that Carl Everett's beliefs got an airing because he's a baseball player.

They got an airing because a Sports Illustrated reporter--knowing that Everett was an evangelical Christian--asked him specifically about dinosaurs and evolution and all manner of shit having nothing to do with Sports or Illustration.

There are several devout Christians on the Mariners--Dan Wilson and Jamie Moyer among them.

Yet you don't see reporters going out of their way to ask these very popular players about dinosaurs or evolution or gays.

Why in the *fuck* would anyone ask a ballplayer whether he belives in dinosaurs unless it is know that the ballplayer doesn't?

It's a little more complicated than that. Everett is believes in creationism.

It's not hard to come up with questions that will make someone with those beliefs look silly ("did Adam and Eve's kids commit incest?"--that's what Clarence Darrow used on William Jennings Bryan, if 'Inherit the Wind' is to be believed).

But, if it is, in fact, appropriate to quiz baseball players about their grasp of prehistoric biology, why does CARL EVERETT get singled out? There are many evangelical Christians on the Mariners. Presumably they, like 44% of the population (according to a recent Gallup poll) believe that "man was created by God in the last 10,000 years." Why not ask them, too?

Hey, that's why I said Carl Everett shouldn't be fired. He's free to think whatever idiot things he cares to think. My position is this: He said it, for whatever reason, and his idiotic comments deserve a response. The motives of the SI reporter are entirely beside the point. If Wilson or Moyer said similar stuff to a reporter, they should be called on it too—not fired, called. Responded to, answered back.

Free speech, yes? It doesn't mean you're free to say your piece and then everyone else has to shut their traps. It means you can say what you like, and other folks can say you're an idiot for saying that.

belltowner, you obviously don't know shit about sports reporting. They teach this stuff the first day of J school. The three questions you ask any athelete are 1) Do you believe in dinosaurs? 2) Do you believe in homosexuals and 3) How many days are you going to take it at a time?

The Sports Illustrated reporter in question certainly didn't ask him that a known wacko christian. In fact he probably has begun every interview he's ever done in his life with the dinosaur question.

And the point I was trying to make over at our site was that if you want to make fun of everett for his beliefs or his behavior that's fine. I'm sure you won't be the first or the last. But to say that he doesn't belong in Seattle because of either of those is crazy. You have to face the fact that the mariners suck and as long as only stand-up citizens who believe in dinosaurs are allowed on the team they will continue to suck. If you want to continue to pack safeco to watch a bunch of dinosaur believing pansies lose 90 games, by all means, be my guest. I'm not in for that, though.

My friend and I were having a similar argument at the start of football season. He's a Kansas City fan, and he derided Seattle's fondness for "nice guys" on our sports teams. The Mariners won't bench a guy like Scott Spezio because he's a great guy and he tries real hard.

He then compared this years Chiefs with the early '90's era Dallas Cowboys, who were as great on the field as they were troubled off the field. Guys on that team were getting arrested for assault and rape, getting sued for paternity, and just behaving badly in public. The coach finally put his foot down and said he would have no tolerance for misconduct, then promptly got arrested at the airport for trying to bring a gun on the plane. And in a 5 year period, they won 3 Superbowls and made it to the NFC championship in the other 2 years.

Anyway, my friends point was that this year's Chiefs are troublemakers and jerks, but if they win it all, the mayor of Kansas City would spend city funds on hookers and coke for the team, and therefore, KC would be more successful than Seattle ever will be.

Looking at the current standings, it seems that it's possible to have a team of nice guys and still do well. But it is debatable what constitutes a nice guy. Matt Hassleback is a great quarterback and a devout Christian. You won't catch him snorting coke off a hooker's tits. But you will find him at "defense of marriage" fundraisers. One man's role model is another man's asshole.

Scott Spiezio believes in dinosaurs...

...which is why he sucks at baseball.

Chill out. This was a terrible personnel decision, yes. It's a baseless second chance signing for a malcontent, and one that hasn't been all that great lately, to boot. But rest assured that organizations these days don't put up with repeatedly malcontentious behavior.

If Carl acts up again, he likely will be traded and/or deactivated, like the NBA's Indiana Pacers are doing with Ron Artest this season. If Carl sucks, he will not be played, and probably traded ASAP, like we did with Bret Boone last season. The M's organization, carrying a family-friendly rep, probably won't take much crap from Jurassic Carl. I'm sure he knows it as well, and likely will do his best to act the model citizen during this season.

As for those people saying, "HUMPHAGRUMPH, I am not taking my family to games anymore now that he's been signed...." I didn't see you up in arms after Richie Sexson's DUI, or after Griffey grabbed his crotch and cussed at the opposing dugout (HEY, just like Carl did once) after a game winning home run, or when we signed philandering deadbeat dad Pokey Reese to be our shortstop before last year (or when his injured shoulder prevented him from playing a single inning), or after any of the times Randy Johnson threw pitches right at a hitter's head to spook him. I didn't see you boycotting the Mariners then. Hey, here's a fact you'll like: a poll before the '04 election showed 22 of the 25 players on the active roster voted for George W Bush, many saying they did so because Bush would protect their high salaries from higher taxes. What do you think of THAT? "You gotta love these guys!"

Get off your high horses. Baseball players are grown kids who went straight from school to making insane money to play a game. Malcontents are everywhere, even on your own team. Carl Everett is not teh first asshole to play for the M's and he won't be the last.

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