Not content to simply send in his smug musings every week for inclusion in the Table of Contents, Stranger Ombudsman A. Birch Steen has now taken to regularly reminding us Stranger writers that he has a fan site. Whatever.

Meanwhile, Birch, I’m still awaiting the results of the “internal investigation” you launched into my reporting on that recent hardcore porn story. Remember when you stopped by my desk and demanded a copy of Max Hardcore Golden Guzzlers #5 and Max Hardcore Golden Guzzlers #6 so you could “check my reporting.” Remember how you said, “This will only take fifteen minutes”? It’s been more than a week, Birch…