No, they’re not. Via Drudge:

A Dallas cab driver is in big trouble for getting caught on tape sprinkling dried feces on pastries. 49-year-old Behrouz Nahidmobarekeh is on trial for allegedly throwing fecal matter on pastries at a Fiesta grocery store.

Police said they found a pile of human feces by his bed. He would dry it, either by microwave or just letting it sit out and grate it up with a cheese grater and then sprinkle it at the store, officials said.

It’s the bit about the cheese grater that lifts this story from the horror column and plops it into the mind-numbingly-horrifying-puking-nightmare column. Eesh. I’m going to go back to obsessing about Plamegate now, if no one minds.