Just in time for swimsuit season, yesterday Oprah provided the world with a peerless appetite suppresant, in the form of a hour-long broadcast devoted to the art and practice of healthy pooping. From discussion of optimal shapes and splashes (apparently soft “S”-shapes that ease into the water are the best of all possible turds) to hands-on fondling of actual colons extracted from dead folks, Oprah hit the ground running and never looked back.

For the record, I adore Oprah, who, for all her contentious elements, remains a incredible force for good.

Still, I don’t know if I’ll ever recover from watching her jump up and down, clapping her hands while exclaiming, “Ooh, I LOVE when I get an ‘S’ shape!”

Now I’m left struggling to decide which is more upsetting: Oprah Winfrey devoting a show to poop, or me writing a Slog entry about Oprah Winfrey devoting a show to poop.

Please weigh in.