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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Gerard Damiano, R.I.P.

posted by on October 29 at 2:00 PM

The writer and director of Deep Throat is dead at age 80:

Over three and a half decades, Deep Throat has been damned by religious groups, decried by feminists, defended by First Amendment advocates, derided by critics and debated by social scientists. It dragged for years through local and federal courts around the country in a welter of obscenity trials in which it was variously banned, unbanned and rebanned. All this had the effect, observers agreed, of sustaining acute public interest in the film.

...

In interviews over the years, Mr. Damiano credited his work as a hairdresser with having given him a keen understanding of women. This helped him greatly, he made clear, in his later career.

“I was just a nice guy, which is why I think I did pretty well,” he told The News-Press of Fort Myers in 2005. “I mean, I’d meet an actress and have to say, ‘Sit down, take your clothes off — I’m going to ask you to do some nasty things.’ You have to be pretty nice.”

NYT obit here.


Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Transfixed

posted by on October 28 at 9:50 AM

I can't stop watching the music video for Beyoncé's new tune "Single Ladies":

I've watched it about 50 times and could watch it 50 more times. Some of the hidden power of Beyonce's video is revealed when compared to Grace Jone's recently released video for the tune "Corporate Cannibal," a video and song that best expresses the kind of evil at the root of the current collapse of global capitalism.

Mariners Get Their Panties in a Bunch

posted by on October 28 at 9:47 AM

Can we go back in time and flush the Mariners instead of the Sonics? There are plans for an adult-only strip club 400 feet from Safeco Field, but not if the Mariners can stop it.

They have filed a formal objection with the city, saying the city should not allow nude dancing a home-run's distance from a place where there have been 3.9 million visits from children between 1999 and 2007. ...

The Mariners are looking at "all the available options" to keep the club from opening, said Rebecca Hale, a team spokeswoman.

In a lengthy letter to the city, the Mariners maintain the issue involves more than just a ballpark. Children gather outside Safeco Field before and after games and the stadium hosts nongame events, including back-to-school rallies, junior and senior proms, high-school graduations and hundreds of school and public tours, the letter says.

Oh, yes, think of those impressionable children! You've got thousands of juvenile eyeballs staring for hours at gigantic billboards for beer--while sitting in bleachers packed with people drinking out of supersized, logo-emblazoned beer cups--and at their overpaid sports idols standing around and chewing tobacco. And in case their little Play-Doh brains can't make it down the the ballpark, television networks are clamoring to blast the beer logos along with a few extra beer ads into their homes on television. That's all hunky-dory with the Mariners. But heaven forbid a few hundred of the kids would walk past a building that they aren't allowed to enter where there's nudity. That might send the wrong message.

It's not as if beer should be hidden from kids--they should have limited exposure to certain adult activity so they know how to handle themselves once they grow up. But it's such a sanctimonious double-standard for the Mariners to shove one adult activity down these kids' retinas--taking millions of dollars for it--while lobbying the city to push another adult activity that happens behind closed doors out of existence.

Fuck you, Mariners.


Thursday, October 23, 2008

Lima vs. Lima

posted by on October 23 at 1:42 PM

This Lima...
Picture%201.png

...still dominates this Lima...
Picture%202.png ...on the first pages of a Google image search. We must thank the gods of the universe that Sarah Palin's name is not Seattle Palin.


Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Headline of the Day

posted by on October 22 at 12:11 PM

Courtesy of Slog tipper/superstar Fnarf...

HOCKEY GAME DELAYED BY DILDOS

And you gotta love this photo...

dildosice.jpg

Unfortunately it's all about mocking a Swedish athlete who likes getting pegged. More at With Leather.


Monday, October 20, 2008

Chocolate Body Spreads Are Fattening, Stupid, Non-Erotic—And Deadly!

posted by on October 20 at 5:00 PM

Those chocolate body spreads sold in sex shops?

Ugh.

Do we really need to incorporate the consumption of chocolate into our sex lives? Surely we get enough chocolate in our diets as-is. And there's nothing particularly erotic about someone smearing chocolate on your body and lapping it up—and, I'm sorry, but someone with brown gunk smeared all over his face looks like... well, there's no nice way to say this: he looks like a scat fetishist, even if he smells a bit better. Chocolate body spreads—all flavored "sensual" body spreads—are ridiculous pseudo kinks offering up false sensuousness. Body spreads allow the sexually bored and/or desperate to "mix things up" without having to either reveal their actual dark & disturbing kinks to their sex partners or admit to themselves and their sex partners that they have no kinks and just need to make the most of the vanilla sex that they truly enjoy and stop feeling self-conscious about being vanilla and stay the hell out of sex shops.

Want another reason to avoid chocolate body spreads and the people who think they're hot? Some of them, it seems, are made in China and—surprise!—tainted with the industrial chemical melamine.

Thanks to Slog tipper SeattleBrad.

Meet the Christian Nymphos

posted by on October 20 at 1:11 PM

scaled.cropped-more-spice.jpg

No, they're not a hot new rock band (though Christian Nymphos is the greatest band name this side of Stigmata Handjob). They're married Christian ladies filled with the spirit of horniness!

Each one of us who posts on this blog is a Christ follower. We all believe that God came down from heaven and was born of the virgin Mary…his name was Jesus; he walked this Earth performing signs and miracles, but mostly trying to get man to see the love that God had for him. He was crucified, died and buried. On the third day he rose again, ascending into Heaven, where He rules at the right hand of God the Father as part of the three-part trinity. We believe that his death and resurrection are God’s free gift, our Salvation, which we can never possibly earn except by believing that Christ died for our sins. We believe that His return is imminent, can happen at any moment and we anxiously await the day we are reunited with our Savior in Heaven.

We are women with excessive sexual desire for our husbands! There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. In fact, God wants us to be madly in love with our husbands. He wants us to keep that fire burning in our marriage beds! We have the Song of Solomon as a perfect example of a Christ honored union where the two people are obviously intoxicated with each other.

Good for you, Christian nymphos. (And thank you, MetaFilter.)

Who's Nailin' Paylin?

posted by on October 20 at 10:47 AM

Ladies and gentleman, the opening moments—the totally SFW opening moments—of Larry Flynt's porn homage to the GOP's brightest starburst.

"Dan Savage is an asshole."

posted by on October 20 at 10:30 AM

Yes, yes: I'm an asshole—have I ever disputed that point? To the contrary, I've cheerfully admitted to being an asshole in more columns than I care to count. But re-read this post—am I being an asshole to poly people? Does that Slog post drip with anti-poly animus? Am I hating on the poly lifestyle? Here's the post...

I’m not a big proponent of monogamy, as most everyone is certainly aware by this point, and I’m generally pro-polyamory, even if “many loves” aren’t for me. I had a hard enough time conning one dude into putting up with my shit; I can’t imagine that I could possibly con two or three dudes.

But at the risk of sounding polyphobic, I have to say that this event sounds like hell on earth...

The event that sounded like hell on earth? Not the entirety of New York Poly Pride Day, but, as the post made clear, one item on the NYPPD agenda: "The Super Massive Cuddle Party."

cuddleparty.jpg

Participants were invited to engage in "multi-person, multi-gender activity," and "rediscover non-sexual touch and affection." As friends, co-workers, and that woman who tried to embrace me in the waiting room at LAX last Friday afternoon are well aware, I don't like to be hugged. Hugs makes me uncomfortable. If you're not my boyfriend, my kid, or a member of my immediate family, I'm not interested in rediscovering non-sexual touch with you. Period. If Satan himself sat up nights designing torments for me in hell, he couldn't come up with better/worse than a "Super Massive Cuddle Party."

But, hey, like I said: I don't have a problem with poly relationships (not for me, but I'm pro-poly), and I don't have a problem with poly people (some of my closest friends...), all I have a problem with is hugging, cuddling, and embracing strangers. Now read these two reactions from members of the poly community. First up...

Dan Savage is an asshole. I know that’s not news, but his latest “slog” post in the Seattle Stranger demonstrates his common tendency to crap all over people and events just for the misanthropic fun of it.

It doesn’t matter that he is generally pro poly. His is the last opinion I’d value on that question. What does matter is that his toxic, scornful cynicism leads him to step on his own dick while at the same time slandering others and poisoning the minds of his readers against them.

So... when assessing someone's opinion on all things poly, it doesn't matter if he's generally pro-poly. All that matters is that he signs off on every last event a poly pride celebration. Maybe the organizers of NYPPD could put that in their press releases next year? "Nothing but compliments, please. Remember we're poly—our skin's so thin we bleed in the rain."

Here's another reaction:

Dan Savage, ardent defender of the kinky and gay, is slamming a celebration of an intimate lifestyle that encourages communication, honesty (both social and individual), and is open to all walks of kink and sexual/gender affiliation.... I'd like to hear some more on why Dan Savage doesn't like poly being out in the open in this fashion.

Who said anything about not wanting poly "out in the open"? When and where have I condemned the "intimate lifestyle" of poly people? Look, self-appointed poly spokeswhiners, I didn't slam your celebration, or your lifestyle. I slammed your stupid cuddle party. If being pro-someone's-intimate-lifestyle means having to sign off on every last event on its pride celebration calendar, then I guess I'm anti-gay. Because I spent a whole chapter in Skipping Towards Gomorrah ripping apart Gay Pride parades—I pissed all over the concept of gay pride.

Sheesh.


Thursday, October 16, 2008

One Love

posted by on October 16 at 3:57 PM

The difference between what's captured in this moving image, "Remote Control Cement Truck"...

...and what's captured in this poster for one of Gong Li's weaker films, Zhou Yu's Train...
Picture%209.png
The difference? No difference exists between what's happening above and what's happening below. The pleasure of the turning agitator mirrors the pleasure of the leg-locked lovers.

Here for You is a Very Odd Chunk of Television..

posted by on October 16 at 12:40 PM

...that I am unable to embed so you'll just have to follow the Jezebel link to tan old actor George Hamilton telling the ladies of The View about his adventures as a 12-year-old boy fucking his 28-year-old stepmother.

Living in the age of Curb Your Enthusiasm and The Office has inured me to a lot of what would typically make me squirm. This made me squirm.

Sex on the Beach

posted by on October 16 at 9:15 AM

Meanwhile in the uncivilized world...

A Dubai court sentenced two Britons to three months in prison on Thursday and ordered their subsequent deportation for having sex on a beach in the booming Muslim Gulf emirate. Michelle Palmer, 37, and Vince Acors, 34, were found guilty of having sex in a public place in the early hours of July 5 after drinking heavily.

Both are still free on bail and were not in court to hear the verdict in the highly publicised case. The defence said it would appeal, although the relatively moderate ruling showed that they only committed an indecent act in public and did not actually have sex.

But the prosecution said there was evidence they did have sexual intercourse and that it might appeal the "light" sentence.


Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Overheard in My Apartment

posted by on October 15 at 7:45 PM

[redacted]: "'Cavalier activity'! That's my new fetish."

Obama Hubris Watch

posted by on October 15 at 8:00 AM

headostate.jpg

I don't have a problem with someone selling Obama dildos—someone should check with Michelle—but let's refrain from marketing the thing as the "Head O State" dildo until after Obama is elected.


Tuesday, October 14, 2008

But What If I Like The Way My Assumptions About Men and Women Are Framed?

posted by on October 14 at 11:35 AM

I'm not a big proponent of monogamy, as most everyone is certainly aware by this point, and I'm generally pro-polyamory, even if "many loves" aren't for me. I had a hard enough time conning one dude into putting up with my shit; I can't imagine that I could possibly con two or three dudes.

But at the risk of sounding polyphobic, I have to say that this event sounds like hell on earth:

Sure, it doesn't have the turnout of the annual Gay Pride Parade in New York City but the Poly Pride Weekend made its way to The Big Apple and just celebrated its 8th annual event.

To kick off the celebration, there was a Super Massive Cuddle Party that allowed registrants a discounted opportunity to engage in multi-person, multi-gender activity and was "...a place for people to rediscover non-sexual touch and affection, a space to reframe assumptions about men and women, and a great networking event to meet new friends, roommates, business partners and significant others."

Uh... yeah. That's where I want to meet my new business partners and roommates—in a pile of folks copping feels in Central Park. Another reason to miss the Super Massive Cuddle Party—youth pastors!

An article in the NYT gives a sneak peak into the life of Diana Adams, a Cornell-educated attorney and the VP of Polyamourous NYC. Adams, who use to be a youth minister in a Christian church and is now involved with both men and women on a regular basis.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

"The Only Thing That Won't Go Down Is the Boat!"

posted by on October 9 at 6:04 PM

That line appeared as a targeted ad in my [heterosexual female] friend's gmail yesterday. It links to this Bostonian booze cruise, whose website offers a pic of the following lovely gal—presumably one of the innumerable things that (unlike the boat) will be going down over Boston Harbor:

boat%20whore.jpg

Haaaayyyyy!!!

That's quite the slogan, Boatonian: A whole boatful of people who will blow you! Also, you probably will not drown!


Wednesday, October 8, 2008

HUMP! 4—TICKETS SALE NOW

posted by on October 8 at 9:33 AM

humpimage.jpg

Don't miss the most hotly anticipated arts event of the season—get your tickets to HUMP! 4 at Brown Paper Tickets now. With a record number of submissions I'm confident that this will be the biggest and bestest HUMP! ever. Don't miss it!

HUMP! goes down October 24-25 at the On the Boards. There's a midnight screening on Friday. HUMP! always sells out, so get your tickets NOW.

Welcome to Bonetown

posted by on October 8 at 9:24 AM

According to the preview above, the forthcoming BoneTown will be a landmark in bridging the worlds of pornography and video games. It also offers amazingly hideous stereotypes of women, men, African-Americans, Jews, Hispanics, Asians, Native Americans, Indians, and, uh, Ron Jeremy (who at least participated willingly.)

Happy wanking, nerds.

(Audio NSFW, visuals OK.)


Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Hard Core

posted by on October 7 at 3:42 PM

A few years ago, Eli Sanders wrote for us about Max Hardcore's legal troubles with the Bush administration. Here's the beginning of his feature, which I'll never ever be able to forget:

Here is how Max Hardcore makes his living: He rams his cock into women's mouths until they vomit, and then he sells videos of the encounters. He sells other videos, too, videos that feature his signature contribution to the world of hardcore pornography: a flexible rubber tube that allows women to suck from their own asses the semen or urine he has just deposited there, often very roughly. Are you turned on yet? Hardcore has been accused (but not convicted) of raping a British porn star named Felicity. He also has been accused of misogyny, a charge that seems apt given that many of his videos feature him shouting degrading insults at the women (often dressed as schoolgirls, complete with pigtails and hairless vaginas) who appear in his films. He describes himself as "an American original" and a leader in the field of "sexual mistreatment," and in addition to his novel use of rubber tubing, he claims both to have pioneered the practice of "anal gaping" and to be at the vanguard of "the misuse of medical speculums."

Will the culture suffer in the slightest if this man is prosecuted for obscenity? We may soon find out.

You should read Eli's feature; it's a great primer on obscenity laws and porn. Also, it's relevant now because last Friday, Max Hardcore was sentenced to nearly 4 years in prison. Reverse cowgirl does a fine job of summing up the case so far, and asks a very important question about people who are protecting Max Hardcore's rights to make porn:

...if you're going to talk about how far we've come when it comes to porn, if you're going to posit Paul "Max Hardcore" Little as the latest victim of the Bush administration, if you're going to lament one more strike against your First Amendment rights, you should bear witness as to what a porn star drenched in vomit looks like. Otherwise, you're blind when it comes to the hardcore realities of making porn in the 21st century.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

"Many women refuse to sit on faces because they’re conscious of what a butt smells like."

posted by on October 1 at 4:24 PM

eHow.com is a website that offers thousands and thousands of tutorials on "How To Do Just About Everything." Seriously. Topics include: How to Assign Power of Attorney for an Offshore Bank Account; How to Avoid Being Picked Out Of A Police Lineup; How to Acid Wash Clothes ("Get access to two industrial washing machines..."); How to Act Around Your Boyfriend ("Were not going to stop liking you because we just saw you eat a turkey sandwich"); How to Build a Small Robot ("Place the vibrator on the back of the toothbrush head..."); and so on and so on.

A friend who works for the site recently e-mailed me a submission they received, which, unfortunately, is a little too risque for publication on eHow. But not for Slog!

Ladies and gentlemen, I present for your edification, How to Get Face Sat (full text after the jump):

How to Get Face Sat

Difficulty Rating: Challenging

Introduction:

Give a woman multiple orgasms by having her sit on your face. Any woman you date is a potential candidate to sit on your face. Each woman has a primal desire to sit on a guy's face--even through most don't know this until they get a taste of it. There's no reason why this should only exist in your fantasies. This is an easy and effective way to please a woman.

Continue reading ""Many women refuse to sit on faces because they’re conscious of what a butt smells like."" »


Monday, September 29, 2008

HUMP! 4

posted by on September 29 at 4:40 PM

This just arrived...

Hey Stranger Staff,

I'm submitting a film and want to be there when the winners are announced. Will that happen at the last showing on Saturday? Just wondering since tickets go on sale soon, especially since it's shortly after the submissions are due on the 6th. Is it possible that the time of the last screening will change due to added showings? I don't want to buy tickets to the last screening... and then have one added after it, which would make THAT one the last screening where the winners are announce. And are you offering comp tickets to people who actually had the balls to submit a film? Or is that wishful thinking?

B.

Everyone who submits a film made specifically for HUMP!—regardless of whether their film makes it into the festival—gets a pair of tickets to a screening of their choice. Winners are selected by audience ballot and will be announced in the paper and online at www.thestranger.com on the Wednesday after the festival—that's October 29th—so you don't have to worry about missing the announcement.

Some More Considering

posted by on September 29 at 2:50 PM

sleemonvisit20072.jpg One of my favorite images from one of my favorite websites, Admiring Gong Li.

Cosmos

posted by on September 29 at 2:47 PM

monica.jpg
The true meaning of the word "consider"? To look at stars.

HUMP! 4

posted by on September 29 at 1:21 PM

A tanking economy, a national election, war with Iraq/Afghanistan/Iran/Pakistan/Russia/whoever—all important issues, without a doubt, but let's keep our priorities in order, shall we?

humpimage.jpg

Tickets to HUMP!—Seattle's biggest, best, and only amateur porn festival—go on sale October 8. HUMP! goes down October 24-25 at On the Boards. Watch this space for information about show times and ordering tickets.


Friday, September 26, 2008

Downtown Lady Brown

posted by on September 26 at 4:18 PM

I'm not saying anything but...
article-1058773-02B31B1E00000578-592_468x340.jpg
...isn't that Sarah Brown? You know, the spouse of Gordon Brown, the current Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. I'm not saying anything but isn't he 57 and his lady 44? As for Tyson Beckford, the model with the muscles, isn't he 37? Believe me, I'm saying nothing at all.

The Game-Changer

posted by on September 26 at 11:44 AM

Dan, no butt dimples for me. What I want most is the back of a beautiful neck...
353075730_38cb8f87be.jpg
So smooth, so slender. It's like the stem of a lily.

Today's Body Part

posted by on September 26 at 10:57 AM

Yesterday it was sexy armpit day, today it's...

todaysdistractingbodypart.jpg

...what are those dimples called, anyway? Those lower-back/above-the-ass-cheeks/either-side-of-the-spine dimples? Is there a name for them? Whatever they're called, they're today's body part. Click on the image above for the full shot.

Your move, Charles.


Thursday, September 25, 2008

Charles, Dan

posted by on September 25 at 4:09 PM

I implore you. Let the madness end here:

story.jpg

Re: Pit Stop

posted by on September 25 at 4:02 PM

Sorry Dan, I'm with Charles on this one...

7111.jpg

Photo © Kelly O, 2006 AVN Porn Convention, Las Vegas Nevada

The Pits

posted by on September 25 at 3:58 PM

Nothing wrong with her:

Re: Pit Stop

posted by on September 25 at 3:45 PM

1flirtlick.jpg

Can't we all just get along, Charles?

Re: It’s Sexy Armpit Day on Slog!

posted by on September 25 at 1:06 PM

Dan, you know I don't play:
dreamgirls_paris1.jpg

Pit Stop

posted by on September 25 at 1:04 PM

I see your hairy pit, Charles, and raise with this bizarrely ripped pit.

rusilko8.jpg

More of this guy here.

Re: Good Morning!

posted by on September 25 at 10:32 AM

Speaking of armpits:
500367137BYbMmG_ph-722625.jpg

Good Morning!

posted by on September 25 at 10:30 AM

The New York Times illustrated an arts short about the proposed musical adaptation of American Psycho with this picture of Christian Bale from the 2000 film version of Bret Easton Ellis' 1991 novel.

christian_bale.jpg

There are worse ways to start the day than with a perfectly gratuitous shot of Christian Bale's unbelievably sexy armpits, abs, shoulders, tits, etc. This photo only appeared in the print edition of the NYT, though, so web-only readers missed out. Keep the eye candy coming, NYT photo editors, and I'll never let my subscription lapse.


Wednesday, September 24, 2008

It's Hump Day

posted by on September 24 at 5:31 PM

Hump Tip #3

Only 12 more days to make a HUMP! film! People are still trying to find each other HERE. Maybe you have camera, but no actors? Or maybe you have people but no cameraman... either way, it's not too late. Not yet.

Also, remember that you might not even need a bunch of actors - perhaps you just need ONE, and uh, a bunch of bananas, donuts, peaches, and Twizzlers...

Headline of the Day

posted by on September 24 at 9:36 AM

Slog tipper Nick was disturbed by this BBC headline and wanted to nominate it for HOTD...

Designer vagina trend 'worrying'

But I found the photo used to illustrate the story infinitely more disturbing...

stockilloofthe%20day.jpg


Thursday, September 18, 2008

Babeland's 15th Anniversary Party

posted by on September 18 at 9:46 PM

The friendly crowd...

babeland1xxx.jpg

The sexy go-go dancers...

babelandgogo.jpg

The inevitable cupcakes...

babelandcupcake2.jpg

There was also a long line outside, burlesque dancers, door prizes, great food from Crave, and the lovely and talented Rachel Venning, Babeland's co-founder, being interviewed by the rude and talentless Dan Savage.

HUMP! Tip #2

posted by on September 18 at 4:54 PM

GET A CAMERA. Borrow, rent, or steal one. Okay, maybe not the latter. You can rent one HERE, HERE, or HERE. Also remember most new digital still cameras (and cell phones) have a video options.

camera.jpg

17 More Days! Get HUMP!-ing.

Stroking Off

posted by on September 18 at 11:51 AM

My god, how horrifying is this? Sex can lead, not only to an STD, but to a stroke.

Sex triggered a life-threatening stroke in a healthy 35-year-old Illinois woman, her doctors report.

Sex- and orgasm-triggered strokes in relatively young women and men are rare, but not unheard of. They require a combination of factors and events not unusual in themselves, but which are highly unlikely to occur at the same time.

"This young woman ... while having intercourse had numbness on the left side of her face, slurred speech, and weakness in her left arm," Biller tells WebMD. "When she was transferred to our care six hours after onset, she was completely unable to move her left arm, her face was paralyzed, her speech was garbled, and she was in a state of panic."

If you do have an orgasm-induced stroke, better hope it happens while you're actually having sex, instead of, you know, just masturbating. Because saving yourself from a stroke is not easy, as recounted by Jill Bolte Taylor. This is amazing:

Thanks to tipper NaFun.