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Monday, October 20, 2008

Try Try Try to Understand: He’s A Magic Man (Obama)

posted by on October 20 at 10:57 AM


The highly reputable and influential Las Vegas Penny Press dissects the true secret of Barack Obama’s success:

Barack Obama’s speeches contain the hypnosis techniques of Dr. Milton Erickson, M.D. who developed a form of “conversational” hypnosis that could be hidden in seemingly normal speech and used on patients without their knowledge for therapy purposes. Obama’s techniques are the height of deception and psychological manipulation, remaining hidden because one must understand the science behind the language patterns in order to spot them. This document examines Obama’s speeches word by word, hand gesture by hand gesture, tone, pauses, body language, and proves his use of covert hypnosis intended only for licensed therapists on consenting patients. Obama’s mesmerized, cult-like, grade-school-crush-like worship by millions is not because “Obama is the greatest leader of a generation” who simply hasn’t accomplished anything, who magically “inspires” by giving speeches. Obama is committing perhaps the biggest fraud and deception in American history.

Read the whole wonderful thing here.

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Does anyone else hear the sound of pigeons while reading that? Coo, coo, coo....

Posted by Fnarf | October 20, 2008 11:04 AM

MOAR optical illusions, yay!!

Posted by Non | October 20, 2008 11:15 AM

@1 Are those pro-Castro pigeons?

Posted by pragmatic | October 20, 2008 11:16 AM

This guy is completely retarded. I just saw Obama speak a week ago, and there was nothing even vaguely resembling hypn – BWOCK BOCK BOCK BOCK BOCK! – osis in his speech. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must go lay an egg.

Posted by Julie in Chicago | October 20, 2008 11:27 AM

I for one welcome our new hypnotic overlord. And those coo coo coos - are the sound of a cuckoo clock or just the cuckoo who wrote this paranoid pamphlet?

Posted by E | October 20, 2008 11:30 AM

cracker, please.

Posted by max solomon | October 20, 2008 11:30 AM

Hummmmm. CSI (Las Vegas!) just had an episode where a hypnotist got two women to rob banks for her, and one to kill herself by diving out of a high-rise. So it could be true. TV told me so!

Posted by Big_K | October 20, 2008 11:38 AM

I don't know. The head tilt thing is pretty convincing. I'm gonna try that.

Posted by cochise. | October 20, 2008 11:40 AM

If it's so effective, one wonders why all politicians aren't doing this all the time.

Posted by flamingbanjo | October 20, 2008 11:58 AM

This is better than The Quibbler.

Posted by Greg | October 20, 2008 11:59 AM

@9 - Maybe they are! I have a new conspiracy theory for Eli. Maybe McCain is actually a hypnotist too, and he is hypnotizing all of us to think that Obama is such a great candidate, BUT when we step into the voting booth we will be compelled to push the button for McCain.

Posted by Julie in Chicago | October 20, 2008 12:02 PM

Ordering that hypnosis book from the back of a comic book was the best investment Obama ever made.

Posted by Dalton | October 20, 2008 12:05 PM

It does work. I do it all the time. The gestures and everything.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | October 20, 2008 12:16 PM

This isn't the candidate you were looking for...

Posted by Karlheinz Arschbomber | October 20, 2008 1:00 PM

Cold late night so long ago
When I was not so strong you know
A pretty man came to me
Never seen eyes so blue
You know I could not run away
It seemed we'd seen each other in a dream
It seemed like he knew me
He looked right through me, yeah
"Come on home, girl" he said with a smile
"You don't have to love me and
Let's get high awhile
But try to understand
Try to understand
Try try try to understand
I'm a magic man."

Winter nights we sang in tune
Played inside the months of moon
Never think of never
Let this spell last forever
Summer lover passed to fall
Tried to realize it all
Mama says she's worried
Growing up in a hurry, yeah
"Come on home, girl" mama cried on the phone
"Too soon to lose my baby and my girl should be at home!"
"But try to understand, try to understand
Try try try to understand
He's a magic man, mama, ah ...
He's a magic man"

"Come on home, girl" he said with a smile
"I cast my spell of love on you, a woman from a child!
But try to understand, try to understand, oh ... oh ...
Try to understand
Try try try to understand
He's a magic man!" oh yeah
Oh, you've got the magic hands

"Come on home, girl" he said with a smile
"You don't have to love me and
Let's get high awhile
But try to understand
Try to understand
Try try try to understand
He's a magic man." yeah ... oh ...

Posted by Heart | October 20, 2008 1:10 PM

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