Slog: News & Arts

RSS icon Comments on Scruple™ of the Day!


Yes. Only because I don't want those retards eating my dog, Checkers.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | October 2, 2008 10:58 AM

Well, first off, dwarves aren't *technically* retards. Though the jury's still out on Dopey.

Posted by Ziggity | October 2, 2008 10:59 AM

Who cares about retarded people living next door? This question might have been more interesting if it was a halfway house for ex-cons, or a public housing site or something.

Posted by Julie in Chicago | October 2, 2008 10:59 AM

they say seven of them but what sort of retards are we talking about? are they all DS? cerebral palsy? how retarded are they?

Posted by Little Red Ryan Hood | October 2, 2008 11:01 AM

Haha. The '80s were such a strange time.

Remember homeowners?

Posted by sw | October 2, 2008 11:01 AM

@ 4: for argument's sake, let's say they are REALLY fucking retarded. Like Sarah Palin level retarded.

And my answer is: I would not oppose such a neighbor. I love retards!

Posted by Mike in MO | October 2, 2008 11:04 AM

I don't understand how this game worked at all.

Posted by The CHZA | October 2, 2008 11:08 AM

no! more scruples!! this is my favorite slog feature.

Posted by johna | October 2, 2008 11:08 AM

HAHAHA! Last night my friend told me about the retarded guy next door at her mother's house and how he just stares at them through the window all the time. He took his shade down and cut down the shrubs and he sits there in his bathrobe in the dark and stares at them. So the other day, my friends father put a window frame up on their fence in front of the neighbor's window, mounted a window shade, waved at the guy and pulled the shade down. Are the 7 Scruples retarded people also pervy? Because that makes a big difference.

Posted by Mikki | October 2, 2008 11:08 AM

Okay, here's a thought. Would 7 retarded people living next door bring your property value down? I mean, a halfway house probably would. But, a retard house? I don't see why that would.

Posted by Julie in Chicago | October 2, 2008 11:12 AM

I would think having 7 retarded neighbors would be lots of fun. Think of the hijinx! I suppose if they got out of line a pellet gun would keep the peace.

Posted by heywhatsit | October 2, 2008 11:14 AM

God, there was a time when American politics revolved around dog controversy.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | October 2, 2008 11:15 AM

@ 6: Really retarded as in too retarded to do yard work for a quarter or beanie baby?

Posted by Little Red Ryan Hood | October 2, 2008 11:15 AM

Funny how retards always come in sevens. Are they dwarfs? If it's seven retarded dwarfs, then definitely, I'm all over that. Especially if you can see the seven dwarfs from my yard, toddling about in that droll way they do.

Posted by elenchos | October 2, 2008 11:24 AM

I will totally do your yard work for a Beanie Baby.

Posted by Gurldoggie | October 2, 2008 11:25 AM

Best comments ever? I say yes. And, Julie in Chicago is a great addition to Slog. Someone get her, a, um, whatever is you get for slogging.

Posted by best | October 2, 2008 11:27 AM

Love Scrupples!

Posted by Apedog | October 2, 2008 11:27 AM

I would only sign the petition if all of them were also homosexual school teachers.

Posted by whatevernevermind | October 2, 2008 11:28 AM

As long as they weren't allowed to own large yappy dogs, or park their cars on the lawn, sure. I already have retarded neighbors who leave their dogs outside to yap all day. I can tell they're retarded because they owe more on their homes now than they did when they initially bought into the area.

Posted by i love my hourlong commute | October 2, 2008 11:32 AM

Been there.

Posted by PopTart | October 2, 2008 11:33 AM

As long as no one would get upset when I dress the 'tards up in funny costumes and stage pageants in my backyard, I would not sign the petition.

Posted by Hernandez | October 2, 2008 11:34 AM

Yeah, that is all I need is a house load of republican living next to me. By the way, how many of them where Sarah Palin's kids again?

Posted by That Would Be a No | October 2, 2008 11:37 AM

The author of this question obviously saw The Boys Next Door, and it freaked them the fuck out.

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | October 2, 2008 11:40 AM

I'm with @11. Sounds lively and exciting! There was a retarded kid living at the end of my cousin's cul-de-sac, and once he ran down the street naked. It was awesome.

His shenanigans were later upstaged by Maury, the brain damaged hang glider dude at the other end of the street. He built a giant cage for Bigfoot, hung a slab of meat in it, and put in the woods. Again: awesome!

Posted by kerri harrop | October 2, 2008 11:41 AM

I love Scruples! Please keep posting them!

...How *did* one win this game? I like to think of these as questions with correct, "most-scrupulous" answers, and answering correctly gives you points, and the person with the Most Scruples (no retards! no black son-in-law! no homosexual teachers!) wins.

As to the question: For the size of houses in my neighborhood, a seventard (!) house would be really awfully crowded, so from a quality-of-life perspective, no.

I like the idea that this situation would add primarily hi-jinx to the neighborhood, along with healthy doses each of shinanigans and wacky fun.

Posted by Christin | October 2, 2008 11:44 AM

@ 13: OK, not that retarded. We gotta be reasonable here.

Also, @ 14: if the retards are dwarfs, this ins't even a question. The only question is how much time to spend watching them waddle around.

Also, also, @ !8: and black!

Finally, @ 16: I second that. I hearby nominate Julie in Chicago for the next Freaky Friday. (that's what you get for prolific commenting on the Slog)

Posted by Mike in MO | October 2, 2008 11:45 AM

Yes. Seven is the luckiest number of retards. Which reminds me. One is the loneliest number of retards.

Posted by superfrankenstein | October 2, 2008 11:46 AM

I wouldn't sign but if it were proposed in practically any middle-class neighborhood in Seattle the NIMBY's would block it anyway.

Posted by inkweary | October 2, 2008 11:49 AM

Could I just mention to you, in a moment of seriousness, that I spent five-and-a-half years in a prison cell. I didn't have a lawn. I didn't have a door. And I spent those five-and-a-half years because I love this country, not because I was looking for a house full of retards when I got out.

Posted by John McCain | October 2, 2008 11:50 AM

OK, I'll bite. Yes, I would sign the petition.

Once upon a time, I lived in Los Angeles directly next door to a residence for profoundly retarded adults. Daily and nightly -- and i mean daily and nightly -- there was some kind of significant disruption of the peace: screaming; smashing of dishes; endlessly repeating guttural bellowings like a cow with the aftosa and drove all of us in the complex insane (including, god love him, John Henson, then the host of Talk Soup).

Knowing that, and knowing the toll it took on our quality of life as neighbors of that facility, I would calmly sign the petition, with the hope that the home for the retarded could be located in an environment where the impact on residents would be largely reduced.

That's my answer. And no, I have no scruples...

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | October 2, 2008 11:50 AM

I say yes not because I have anything against retards but parking could become a hassle what with their having their 'special needs' van coming by every day to pick them up.

Posted by Capital Hillebrity | October 2, 2008 11:59 AM

I am near tears with laughter at @24 and 27. Actually, scratch that, now there are actual tears as I am thinking about singing "One is the Loneliest Number (of Retards)".

We are seriously all bad people for mocking the retarded, but I'll be damned if this isn't the funniest comment thread in awhile. There should be some sort of penance you can do to atone for this (is there a patron saint of retards to pray to?).

Posted by Julie in Chicago | October 2, 2008 12:02 PM

@30 You have the scruples to be honest.

Posted by inkweary | October 2, 2008 12:10 PM

No way.

Six, I could tolerate, but seven? That's just crazy.


Posted by K | October 2, 2008 12:13 PM

I remember that there also used to be a Scruples for kids, which my brother and I were given by some judgmental aunt. Most of the questions were about stealing candy and cheating on homework and tattling.

Posted by Joneser | October 2, 2008 12:55 PM

5 star lols, would lol again

Posted by Callie | October 2, 2008 12:57 PM

Also, I would totally not sign a petition opposing the retard house. I don't like petitions.

Posted by Joneser | October 2, 2008 1:05 PM

seven? why seven? and would they have a caretaker or would this be some sort of twisted sociological experiment, like the real world, but with retards.

and i agree with julie in chicago, we are all bad people. i'm shocked we haven't been scolded by now for the use of the term retard, and i think the patron saint of retards is named corky or something.

Posted by douglas | October 2, 2008 1:18 PM

I have enjoyed the comments from outsider Julie.

Julie makes this blog work better.

Posted by Adam | October 2, 2008 3:59 PM

It depends, which of my current next door neighbors will the retarded people be replacing? If it's the ones to the right, sign me up for the welcoming committee.

Posted by angela | October 3, 2008 9:50 AM

Comments Closed

Comments are closed on this post.