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yes, and only half of a lucky pierre exists.

Posted by frank rizzo | October 24, 2008 1:57 PM

Ha, see there you go with the gay recruiting again. Incorrigible.

Posted by elenchos | October 24, 2008 1:58 PM

The more energetic the homophobic attack, the deeper in the closet the attacker resides.

Posted by Tiktok | October 24, 2008 2:00 PM

Remember, it's not gay if you're the guy.

Posted by The Daily Show | October 24, 2008 2:05 PM

Oh snap.

Posted by bobbo | October 24, 2008 2:05 PM

Sex just isn't a problem for us. We're not sorry.

Posted by Mr. Poe | October 24, 2008 2:06 PM

Italiandon! What a potty mouth! I grew up around guys like you. They always wanted me to sneak out at night and suck their dicks. Poor greasy little fascist. Dans right. You know you want it, but you haven't got the balls.

Posted by Vince | October 24, 2008 2:09 PM

Straight tops have to work sooooo hard to get what they want

Posted by jackseattle | October 24, 2008 2:11 PM

Seriously, though, how many?

Posted by w7ngman | October 24, 2008 2:11 PM

@6: Same with *most women, except society always tried to make us feel like guilty whores. Fuck society.

*The smart ones that know whats up.

Posted by Original Monique | October 24, 2008 2:16 PM

italiandon, despite his homophobia, might be jealous of that guy. Hell, he might want to be that guy.

Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?

Posted by kitschnsync | October 24, 2008 2:18 PM

that man has to be swished away, you mean.

Posted by ellarosa | October 24, 2008 2:18 PM

He also appears to be a little confused on the mechanics of cocksucking, which is just sad.

Posted by Fnarf | October 24, 2008 2:20 PM

More like "italianclosetcase" IMHO.

Posted by Dave M | October 24, 2008 2:22 PM

@10: Amen.

Posted by Aislinn | October 24, 2008 2:24 PM

ONE can be a health-imperiling number.

Posted by hillpagan | October 24, 2008 2:25 PM

He says it like sucking cocks and having them stuffed up your ass is a bad thing. Fail.

Posted by Julie in Chicago | October 24, 2008 2:27 PM

@9: You beat me to the punch. Well said!

Posted by Lavode | October 24, 2008 2:30 PM

@16: Tell it to Sarah Palin, wanker.

Posted by Ziggity | October 24, 2008 2:30 PM

Hey Dan, aren't you supposed to answer questions of the day? Please provide a number.

Posted by jrrrl | October 24, 2008 2:31 PM

The whole top/bottom thing is a really interesting concept that has some sort of biological basis, which is why you see female dogs sometimes hump male dogs as a form of domination... I believe that's why for straight men it's considered acceptable to be a whore; they've shown their control over many other people, whereas a female who does the same has shown weakness by giving away control to many men.

(I've tried to actively break my own mental conformity to that concept, but there was still a time when I dated a complete top and couldn't help feeling I was giving up control just by bottoming exclusively.)

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | October 24, 2008 2:32 PM

Speaking of Gays,

This just in, hopefully it will get a mention in an actual posting, rather than just a comment:

Apple donates $100,000 to oppose Proposition 8

Posted by Lavode | October 24, 2008 2:33 PM

The gay male top—the gay suckee, the gay fucker—doesn’t exist, that man has to be wished away.

Channeling Mudede really nicely there! Great post.

Posted by tomasyalba | October 24, 2008 2:37 PM

A lot of fancy, Mudedian talk to avoid answering the question...

Posted by michael strangeways | October 24, 2008 2:50 PM

maybe he's genuinely curious and you're being mean.

Posted by i heart julie in chicago | October 24, 2008 2:50 PM

@25, I think you're right. He's just asking for a number to shoot for. So to speak.

Posted by Fnarf | October 24, 2008 2:55 PM

I cant help but be slightly interested in the answer myself and I'm a lesbian. is that wrong?

Posted by Womyn2me | October 24, 2008 3:12 PM

Well, Fidel Castro has reportedly fucked 35,000 women, and Dan's got to be AT LEAST twice as promiscuous as that, right? So, 70,000? And he's 39, so he's been sexually active for thirty years, so 2,500 or so a year, about? Like, eight a day? Is that about right, Dan?

I may be off a little, but God damn, I'm jealous of you shirtlifters.

Posted by Fnarf | October 24, 2008 3:21 PM

Google never ceases to amaze me. Being a little slow on the uptake, I was like "what's SLLOTD"? Some trendy gay sex acronym I don't know about? LOL? So I Google it. And the first hit that comes up is this very Slog post.

How dey do that?

Posted by Wowzer | October 24, 2008 3:28 PM

Google is super in love with the Slog, I've noticed. Many times I've googled something I've seen in a post here, only to have the item itself come up, even just minutes later.

Posted by Fnarf | October 24, 2008 3:42 PM

@21: My friend is a top, and he claims that tops outnumber bottoms, which makes dating difficult because he absolutely REFUSES to be a bottom. Is that actually true?

Posted by Anna | October 24, 2008 3:43 PM

Yes, Dan, we know you're a top. So, fulfill his fantasies and give him the answer he is REALLY seeking?

Posted by emma's bee | October 24, 2008 3:48 PM

31, Maybe it's just the guys I "get together" with, but my experience is exactly the opposite.

Posted by brian | October 24, 2008 3:49 PM

The guys CLAIMING to be tops outnumber the guys admitting to be bottoms, gay or straight. But get 'em under the sheets, and suddenly they want to be put in a diaper and paddled.

The homophobes who obsess over buttsecks never seem to realize there is a significant percentage of male homosexuals who don't engage in any penetrative sex at all. I actually know quite a few guys who only do mutual masturbation or what I'd call dry-humping. Fallout from AIDS.

Posted by Geni | October 24, 2008 3:57 PM

@31 - It varies regionally. In the midwest where a lot of my friends are from, there's a lot of pressure to be a top (a lot of denigrating of bottoms). But in San Francisco, the running joke is that the City is 97% bottoms (because the bottoms from the midwest move here). Or maybe it's just that there doesn't seem to be as much of a stigma in admitting to like bottoming here. Not sure if it's true, but it does seem that my friends who are tops are in high demand and those of us who are bottoms have a lot of competition.

Posted by RS | October 24, 2008 4:35 PM

@23 & @24 beat me to it, but oh well:

Dan, when did you give Mudede your blog login?

Posted by J | October 24, 2008 5:08 PM

I love SLOG.

It can distract me from anything.

Posted by Ayden/VA | October 24, 2008 5:56 PM

seattle = too many tunnels and not enough trains

bring it on italiandon

Posted by copper | October 24, 2008 5:58 PM

I think this is an overanalysis.

Italiandon's a closet.

Posted by john | October 24, 2008 6:36 PM

That may be, 39, but this is the best response to a homophobic hate letter that I've ever seen.

Posted by Tracy | October 24, 2008 7:41 PM

Dan, I love posts like this. When it comes to sexual politics, you are the one. Thank you.

Posted by Sean | October 24, 2008 9:56 PM
stuffing sicks up our assholes

Hm, you have had over 10 hours to change that, yet you have not.

Posted by Sigmund Freud | October 25, 2008 12:18 AM

Dan, excellent points well made as always, but you didn't answer! Approximately how many guys have you had sex with (any type of sex, please provide a reasonable range, not some cutesy "between 1 and 1000" range)?

You're a "public" figure who's makes a living with sex advice, so I think this question is fair game for your fans!

(And no, I'm not a homophobe. I'm out, a little younger than Dan's age. I don't keep exact count but it's probably 50-75 guys including BFs, one night stands, 3-ways, and random encounters at sex parties. Over 150 if you included "light" sexual contact at sex parties that didn't lead to orgasm or involve genital contact (such as grabbing a guy's arm or having my arm grabbed while stroking one out myself).

Posted by Ben | October 25, 2008 8:13 AM

there is a serious grammatical epidemic affecting (at least) seattle. is it so hard to learn the difference, and correct use, of "your" versus "you're"? [rhetorical]. of course, i'm referring to the idiot from the actual SLLOTD, when he says, "...your a big cocksucking queer". i trust that you know the difference dan.

Posted by Jon Brock | October 25, 2008 9:39 AM

Yeah, straight men are jealous that gay guys get so much play. Is that wrong?

Posted by Greg | October 25, 2008 3:13 PM

I've sucked a lot of dicks (and I do me a lot), but have yet to give up my ass.

I'm saving myself for Mr. Right.

Posted by Mike in MO | October 25, 2008 3:21 PM

@46: you suck your own dick a lot? Like in Shortbus? Awesome.

Posted by Tracy | October 25, 2008 8:35 PM

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