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Bo advice?

Posted by Jonathan Bailo Thomas | October 17, 2008 4:40 PM

And why did he write this?

Posted by Mr. Poe | October 17, 2008 4:41 PM

@2 Maybe I missed it, but what makes you think it's a he?

Also, the first thing a Mormon missionary generally wants to do after getting home is to get married, usually within 6 months.

Posted by Mike in Renton | October 17, 2008 4:48 PM

I might have a little sympathy for him because he probably lives somewhere that has a small gay population...but to complain because he shaved his pubes and the guy didn't come over...pssht.

Welcome to the reality of casual sex, even with fuck buddies.

Posted by zephsright | October 17, 2008 4:49 PM

Did this come with a receipt for a No On Prop 8 donation?

Posted by Christin | October 17, 2008 4:49 PM

Here's some advice: man up and out his ass.

Posted by chasman | October 17, 2008 4:51 PM


Girls don't work their asses off. Ever.

Posted by Natalie Merchant | October 17, 2008 4:51 PM

Dan, was it a guy or a girl who wrote that????

Posted by idaho | October 17, 2008 4:52 PM

@3, Have you ever in your life heard a woman refer to her "pubes?"

Posted by chasman | October 17, 2008 4:55 PM

Friends don't fuck friends who support Prop. 8. Man or woman, gay or straight, cut the motherfuckers off TODAY. No more sex for you, assholes.

Posted by Fnarf | October 17, 2008 4:59 PM

you did right, dan. the writer is a principle-free organism, a shallow ass. no advice forrrr you--come back one year!

Posted by ellarosa | October 17, 2008 5:16 PM

"No more sex for you, assholes" goes for those who support prop 102 in Arizona. Don't like extra-marital sex (gay or straight)? Don't have it!

p.s. I hope this loser's pubes grow back in-grown and result in a painful and embarassing skin infection. I am somewhat more vengeful than Dan.

Posted by yucca flower | October 17, 2008 5:18 PM

@9 Uh, women refer to pubes all the time, and they are 99/100 the ones shaving their pubes/expected to shave them. Maybe you don't talk to enough females or something.

Also, I'd believe a closeted homo working for prop 8 but wouldn't that be noteworthy for the guy writing the letter? It's stuck in there pretty shamelessly. Hell, would a closeted homo who openly strikes against gay rights even be able to keep a long term gay fuck buddy? If so, damn.

Posted by EmmiG | October 17, 2008 5:25 PM

@13 I totally agree with you. And @7 -- fuck off. Woman work their asses off all the time. And call it that too.

Posted by idaho | October 17, 2008 5:31 PM

i'd seriously vote yes for prop 8 just to piss you off.

Posted by yay | October 17, 2008 5:34 PM

I think #7 was being sarcastic, it's been pretty well documented that females work more than males (not that guys are lazy just more laid back ime, I'm the same way) and Natalie is a female's name so I'm assuming she knows that. Or she's lazy as hell.

Posted by EmmiG | October 17, 2008 5:44 PM

The letter is from a girl.

Posted by Dan Savage | October 17, 2008 5:46 PM

I don't believe u

Posted by Compulsavage liar | October 17, 2008 5:56 PM

"DTMFA" is the only response this letter deserved.

Posted by guy | October 17, 2008 5:57 PM

I'm with your advice Dan. I like but seriously. I think it's a little weird that she is getting worked up about a fuck buddy. I mean, that is SO totally against the rules.

Besides, you might as well be fucking around with a married man. He is SUPPOSED to be getting married in 6 months ... and I'm not sure his wife will ever find out he was not a virgin before he was wed. He might be trying to casually move on to the next stage of his hyprocritical life as quietly as possible.

Posted by OR Matt | October 17, 2008 6:08 PM

This illustrates the proper use of bolding in a Slog post.

Please make a note of it.

Posted by rob | October 17, 2008 6:24 PM

My next guess is she's going into a scientific field ...

Posted by idaho | October 17, 2008 6:31 PM

I boned a Morman chick once. She could suck a basketball through a garden hose. The uber-religious very often can bring it in the sack.

Her pubes were a bit too thick, though.

Posted by Frank Sinclair | October 17, 2008 8:31 PM

"(isnít pre-marital sex as bad as tea?)"
In fact, it's way worse. "unchaste" sexual activity is second only to murder as a sin in the church's eyes. I've straight up had that drilled into my head. Sexual Sin is second only to murder. Including whacking off.

I left the church for numerous and mostly obvious reasons.


Posted by AtlantaSteve | October 17, 2008 8:53 PM

I was under the impression sex was a sin worse than murder for the religious.

Posted by yucca flower | October 17, 2008 9:43 PM

Here's what's really going on...from a former Mormon missionary myself...

This guy was your fuck-buddy prior to his mission. But, then, he got religion, and went into the deep end during his mission. So, he's buried that part of himself from any public display. He would never, for example, talk about sex with any of the mormon girls he's dating. He saves that for... The former playmate that he keeps locked in the closets of his memories. He fucks you over and over again in his head. And, then, when it gets to be too much, he flirts with the idea of doing it again. So, he calls you, flirts, pretends, even goes so far as setting up a date. But, he'll never follow through now. Never.

His self identity, for now, is way too tied into his religious view and his communal and self-approval requires him to be able to tell his Bishop that he doesn't have sex. So, he plays at having sex. Fantasizes about it. Will go so far as to plan it. But, follow through? Not likely. You're now his toy, but not to be played with in actuality, only in fantasy.

Unless and until, one day, he does follow through. But, that will likely be worse for you. As soon as he reaches orgasm, his guilt will overpower him, and he'll leave you, and blame you for tempting him into evil.

Not worth the effort. Don't play his game.

Posted by Timothy | October 17, 2008 9:48 PM

@13 Yeah, I kinda realized how stupid that sounded shortly after posting it. I guess this is a good example of what happens when you assume.

She should still out him to the rest of the god botherers as a fornicator.

Posted by chasman | October 17, 2008 10:08 PM


Life is complicated. And you are tedious.



Posted by Quintus Slide | October 17, 2008 11:43 PM

Been there, done that, will probably do it again. Mormon boys too often have lots of issues, but are almost always hot and usually very sweet.

Posted by Jeff | October 18, 2008 12:25 AM

I've never been a Mormon missionary, but I agree with @26, Timothy. That's exactly what I assumed when I read her letter. (And of course MR is a girl. How often do boys shave their pubes for a date???)

MR, if it makes you feel any better, right now he is wracked with guilt. Not for standing you up, but for making the date in the first place. Still, he is wracked with guilt.

Posted by puzzlegal | October 18, 2008 5:17 AM

Every fuck buddy I've ever had in the end has been into mind games, even though that's against the rules. I don't bother with men for this purpose anymore, just use a vibrator when i want an NSA orgasm, since men make it not worth the trouble. But if you want to strive for some semblance of common decency from your fuck buddys, refuse to meet up with this guy anymore. Find another one. You're a girl so its not hard. If he too pulls any mind game bullshit, drop him and its on to the next one. Repeat as necessary until you find someone who knows how to be an adult.

Posted by cassie | October 18, 2008 7:46 AM

that pretty much covers it (and is more advice than this writer deserved), but you forgot to mention that *if* he allows himself to fuck her, or if the guilt of phone jack-offs overwhelms him, he could hear the voice of god revealing to him that she has to be murdered because she's interfering with the Lord's Work. and i really, really wish i was kidding about that.

that church - like so many others (think ann boleyn and the catholic church), but this one is especially adept at it somehow - bottles up sexual energy until it reaches explosive levels. think in childhood how harder it was not to laugh at something when you knew you weren't supposed to, or when you were supposed to be silent. now multiply that feeling by a lifetime, and you're about 1/10th of the way there.

this is how you wind up with fanatical lunatics who prefer to hear a revelation from god that you should be killed for tempting them, for interfering with the lord's work, or for whatever their hormone-deranged states work them up into, than to admit that the church leaders are fucking with them for their own ends. that fuck buddy will never blame the church, only you. and there is a sordid history of women being murdered for interfering with the wishes of men in the church.

not all sexually repressed saints go that far, but enough of them do that it's not worth playing the game, as timothy said. stay away from this dude.

Posted by happy hedonist | October 18, 2008 8:08 AM

I second #12- vote no on prop. 102 in Arizona. People who are threatened by gay people getting married are really fucking pathetic. I hope Missionary Reject has a throbbing line of red bumps and her fuck buddy has a bad case of blue balls.

Posted by pissed off in AZ | October 18, 2008 10:26 PM

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