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Tuesday, October 14, 2008

He’s Going to Have to Apologize For a Long, Long Time…

posted by on October 14 at 13:38 PM

There’s so much wrong with this story:

ELIZABETHTON, Tenn. (AP) - A new father has secretly named his baby girl Sarah McCain Palin after the Republican ticket for president and vice president.

Mark Ciptak of Elizabethton put that name on the documents for the girls birth certificate, ignoring the name Ava Grace, which he and his wife had picked earlier.

I dont think she believes me yet, he told the Kingsport Times-News for a story to be published Tuesday. Its going to take some more convincing.

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Sad, but historical.

Posted by Yakdan | October 14, 2008 1:40 PM

Sad, but hysterical!

Posted by Al | October 14, 2008 1:42 PM

hope the aliens take them away today...

oh wait they aren't here yet???

check out these idiots praying for the aliens

Posted by bobcat ack ack ack | October 14, 2008 1:43 PM

It's rough to be named after a fad. Good thing his daughter wasn't born during the Hula Hoop or Pet Rock craze

Posted by RHETT ORACLE | October 14, 2008 1:43 PM

Funnily enough, he's got a new nickname around the house, too: "you fucking shithead, what the fucking fuck did you do that for? You're sleeping in the car, asshole".

Posted by Fnarf | October 14, 2008 1:44 PM

At least he didn't name her "Scary Tyler Moore"!

Posted by Cookie W. Monster | October 14, 2008 1:44 PM

PS -- Elizabethton? Looks like there's a whole history of not being able to name crap well down thar!

Posted by Al | October 14, 2008 1:46 PM

On the bright side, his wife can file for divorce and get the baby's name changed in the same place.

Posted by Greg | October 14, 2008 1:47 PM

Wait, doesn't the mother have to sign the birth certificate? She didn't notice the name change?

Posted by Jane | October 14, 2008 1:54 PM

Major Major Major

Posted by Little Red Ryan Hood | October 14, 2008 1:58 PM

If this isn't child abuse, I don't know what is.

Posted by Madashell | October 14, 2008 2:18 PM

At least he didn't name the kid Track, Trig, Bristol, Willow, or Piper.

Posted by T | October 14, 2008 2:23 PM

and yet Canada has few Trudeaus or Mulroneys for first names. I guess with 300 million people, one's got to go a bit further for uniqueness, although I've heard more than one baby here has the name "Unique".

Posted by Baby's Named a Bad Bad Thing | October 14, 2008 2:27 PM

I'm not praying to, or for, the aliens unless Gary Numan writes a song about it.

Posted by Cookie W. Monster | October 14, 2008 2:29 PM

"Well, you see honey, once upon a time there was this politician from Moose-knuckle, Nowhere, and for a minute there it seemed like she'd be an important person whose name people would remember for a long time. This was way back before you were born, when Daddy was still wrestling with the demons of Wild Turkey and Oxycodone."

"Before you threw him out, Mommy?"

"Well, just before."

Posted by flamingbanjo | October 14, 2008 2:33 PM

My name is SUE!

How do you DO?

Now you're gonna DIE!

Posted by ivan | October 14, 2008 3:12 PM

My mother always said that the man gets the final say in the naming of the baby, the day he can squeeze one out of his ass...(or words to that effect; my mother wasn't a truck driver).

Posted by michael strangeways | October 14, 2008 3:19 PM

According to the Sarah Palin baby name generator, Sarah McCain Palin translates to:

Chalk Revelations Palin

Posted by RHETT ORACLE | October 14, 2008 3:19 PM

Is the baby suffering from some sort of mental retardation? Or, a nervous tic that causes incessant winking? Is she unable to raise her hands above its head?

Does the child have unsightly facial hair, which the hospital refused to airbrush from her first photos? Does she look confused and mad?

If so, the name is more than appropriate.

Posted by kerri harrop | October 14, 2008 3:27 PM

This certainly qualifies as a DTMFA.

Posted by yucca flower | October 14, 2008 5:01 PM

I think he should have named the baby ( with his wife's addendum included)


That way most of the commentators here could be part of the BARMITZFAHWHIRL!

Posted by dankieneker | October 14, 2008 6:17 PM

Of course by the time the kid starts kindergarten no one other than hard core trivia enthusiasts will remember who Sarah Palin is.

Posted by RainMan | October 14, 2008 7:22 PM

my father named me adlai sparkman stevenson when i was born in late 1952, & he named my younger brother adlai kefauver stevenson when he was born in late 1956, & we turned out just swell!

Posted by adlai stevenson | October 14, 2008 7:28 PM

@9: they make you sign the birth certificate in the hospital not too long after having the baby. He might have asked her to sign it, said he'd fill it out, and she was probably too tired to question it. She'd just had a fucking baby, for crissakes.

Posted by TVDinner | October 14, 2008 8:14 PM

@9 My first son gestated for 11 months. I insisted induction or else. When he came out dark blue, all I could say was--- I had a Smurf, yeah! I signed the birth certificate shortly there after- before delivering the placenta. I'm just glad mine isn't Brainy or Jokey after that comment.

Still Sarah Palin is worse. She is the first "vagina" American ever to make it to the main ticket. And I detest her for being the token she is. Sadly, she won't be forgotten until a legitimate female candidate makes it.

Posted by Kat | October 15, 2008 12:41 AM

Kat, Palin is the first "vagina" American on the REPUBLICAN ticket. The first "vagina" American on ANY national ticket was Geraldine Ferraro, a Democrat. We all seem to forget that tidbit.

Posted by Gindy | October 15, 2008 4:50 AM

Now, if he'd done what so many wonderful, progressive Venezuelan parents do, and named his daughter after a Communist hero or two. Lenine Marxa! Much better.

Posted by Seajay | October 15, 2008 8:48 AM

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