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Monday, October 6, 2008

Box Office Mo-Joe Sixpack

posted by on October 6 at 11:00 AM

This past weekend at the movies, An American Carol, the conservative “comedy,” opened to terrible numbers. According to Box Office Mojo, it came in at number 9:


But still: Oh, no! American Carol came in ahead of Religulous, Bill Maher’s documentary about how crazy religion is! Clearly this is a sign of how far-right conservative America has a bigger hold over the Godless elites & etc. Right? Wait a minute…


But American Carol opened in 1,639 theaters across the country, and made $2,325 per theater, on average. And Religulous opened in less than a third of the theaters that American Carol did, and made almost exactly three times as much per theater. Surely this must be due to the liberal elites, and says absolutely nothing about the future of conservative comedy, but this gives me great hope for the future of our country. Wait, what’s that up at the top of the box office list?


Um, never mind.

RSS icon Comments


I was thinking about seeing Religious this weekend, but it was panned pretty much everywhere I looked... Now I'm wondering if I should have done my part as a Godless elite.

Posted by Julie in Chicago | October 6, 2008 11:04 AM

I just glanced at the cast list for American Carol.

Gary Coleman as Slave

Really. This film is certain to be some kind of cinematic masterpiece.

Posted by Julie in Chicago | October 6, 2008 11:09 AM

Both movies are preaching to the choir. While I don't know anyone who say American Carol, I had a few friends go and see Religulous, and each of them is already an atheist. Jesus.

Posted by Jason Josephes | October 6, 2008 11:13 AM

My theory is that the god-hating liberal latte-sippers actually paid more than the listed ticket price. It's an effete, big-city elitist practice known as "tipping."

Posted by flamingbanjo | October 6, 2008 11:16 AM

@2--actually Coleman is listed as "Bacon Stains Malone"....better, no?

Posted by hartiepie | October 6, 2008 11:16 AM

I enjoyed Religulous this weekend. I kept hoping Bill would talk to "normal" people that had real answers to his questions...but he seemed to showcase only the freaks. If you mean to open dialogue with people you need to not make blatant fun of them. Made me laugh like hell, though.

Posted by muggims | October 6, 2008 11:21 AM

Beverly Hills Chihuahua, for the win. I'm going to see it AGAIN next weekend.

Posted by StC | October 6, 2008 11:22 AM

@5. Without a doubt. I wonder if he plays a slave named Bacon Stains.... I smell Oscar!

Posted by Julie in Chicago | October 6, 2008 11:23 AM

Hollywood makes movies for 13 year old girls because 13 year old girls go to movies like that.

Posted by Jeremy from Seattle | October 6, 2008 11:24 AM

David Zucker must die. Seriously, The "Scary Movie" franchise, and now this?

Posted by Fnarf | October 6, 2008 11:28 AM

Chihuahua was the only family friendly movie to come out since American Girl. Of course it made money, b/c parents love the 90 minute break.

Posted by P to the J | October 6, 2008 11:31 AM

'...Under my administration, I swear to you, that all slaves will be called Bacon Stains Malone!'

Remember when g cole was running for gov of California? Then selling his autographed george foreman grills on ebay? Then making years-too-late michael moore mockumentaries based on chuck dick stories costarring Kelsey Grammar and James Woods and Dennis Hopper which were released just in time to shake the last few undecided rednecks out of the voting tree?

Posted by jackie treehorn | October 6, 2008 11:33 AM

I kinda want to see An American Carol, but I don't want to pay for it. What movie should I buy a ticket for so I can sneak in?

Posted by Greg | October 6, 2008 11:38 AM

@9 Hollywood makes movies for 28 year old men with the maturity of 13 year old boys. Enough with the comic book movies already.

Posted by Mareada | October 6, 2008 11:55 AM


Well, for whatever it's worth, 28 year old men with the maturity of 13 year old boys are the ones out there buying a majority of movie tickets these days, so naturally Hollywood is going to cater to their tastes.

When more 35 year old married couples with the maturity of 35 year olds start showing up at the movie theatres in droves, maybe THEN Hollywood will begin catering to THEIR tastes, but until that time...

Posted by COMTE | October 6, 2008 12:30 PM

"Say hello to my leetle friends."

Posted by Will in Chihuahau Seattle | October 6, 2008 10:05 PM

@10: Airplane is awesome enough to make up for a lot of his turds that have plopped onto movie screens. But yeah, if God had struck him down in 1981 I don't think the world would be any poorer for it.

Posted by Luke | October 6, 2008 10:11 PM

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