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Thursday, October 30, 2008

Beware the Eyeball Man

posted by on October 30 at 10:33 AM


This week’s Last Days features the following item:

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 23 In lighter news, today brings a report of “a little weirdness at Southcenter Mall” courtesy of Hot Tipper Desiree: “I was on the lower level, buckling my little girl into her stroller when a woman walked by, pointed her finger at a man, and yelled ‘Stay away from me!’ The man was just standing there, seemingly unaware of why the woman was freaking out. Then he turned to me and said, ‘She must have seen me do this a couple weeks ago,’ after which he placed his pinkies near the outer corners of his eyes and popped his eyeballs out of their sockets. I said, ‘Yes, that’s probably why she asked you to stay away,’ and went about my business. It definitely made my trip to Southcenter worthwhile.”

Today brings a follow-up report from Hot Tipper Spencer:

Unless there are several men out there in the greater Seattle area who are fond of disturbing passersby with eyeball stunts, I’ve run into the same guy as Desiree. A couple Sundays ago, I think it was, I was walking through Pike Place Market with my boyfriend, enjoying one of the last sunny days of the year, and doing a little grocery shopping. As we turned the corner up the hill at Stewart and Pike Pl., we passed a maybe-homeless guy, who suddenly shouted, “Hey! Look at that!” I turned to look at him just in time to see his eyeballs pop out from their sockets as he chuckled to himself. As someone with a couple eye-related phobias or neuroses, I looked away as quickly as possible and hurried up the hill, though the image stayed with me for some time. (Think this, but with added pink veins.)

One of these days, his eyes are going to stick like that.

RSS icon Comments


That's eye poppin' awesome. Do I have the balls to try that? I think I do. I'm going to try it. Hmmm. No. I don't have the balls to try that.

Posted by Mr. Poe | October 30, 2008 10:35 AM

Check this out.

Posted by Mr. Poe | October 30, 2008 10:39 AM

About 10 years ago, my mother got a detached retina. She ended up being okay, but it scared the shit out of all of us for a few days.

I'm no eye doctor, but I'm pretty sure this is a bad idea.

Posted by Reverse Polarity | October 30, 2008 10:49 AM
Posted by elenchos | October 30, 2008 10:54 AM

For the enjoyment of all the eye-phobic people, I wish I had taken a picture of my eye last week -- it was even more disturbing-looking than this.

I had to get an injection of steroids in my eyeball. But, the thing is, your eyeball doesn't absorb all the fluid right away, so there was this large bubble of fluid hanging off the eyeball and resting on my lower lid. It looked like my eyeball was liquifying and oozing out of the socket. I actually couldn't close my eye. Fun times...

Posted by Julie in Chicago | October 30, 2008 10:57 AM

@5: Lunchtime: over.

Posted by Gloria | October 30, 2008 11:11 AM

Wow, something like this happened to me about 4 years ago. I was walking downtown and this dude came up to me and asked me if I knew if there was a drug store around. I looked at him and one of his eyeballs was all poking out like that and with big red veins around the edges. I was so freaked out I was just like 'uh, yeah, there's a Rite Aid that way...' To this day I've been seriously disturbed by that. I would feel a LOT better if I knew it was just some sort of joke. Maybe I'll just tell myself it was the same Eyeball Man.

Posted by Ingrid | October 30, 2008 11:23 AM

My girlfriend and I were riding the bus downtown and as we stopped at 4th and Pine, a homeless guy walked up to the window of the bus and jammed a spork behind his eyeball. Then he used it as a level to pop his eye out and back in repeatedly.

A fucking spork.

Posted by Clifton | October 30, 2008 11:32 AM

OH MY GOD it's like Large Marge (circa Pee Wee's Big Adventure) all over again. She was my childhood boogeyman...I saw someone do this on TV a few years ago and literally shrieked out loud. Embarassing. I don't know *what* I'd do if I actually saw it in person! No good, no good.

Posted by Katy | October 30, 2008 11:45 AM

My co-worker's husband saw this guy the other day, too. He was out walking his pug, and the guy came up to him and said, "I can look like your dog!" and popped his eyes out. Ugh.

Guess he's got a built-in Halloween costume...

Posted by Katy | October 30, 2008 11:47 AM

My boyfriend and I saw this guy (or someone similar) at the bus stop by Century Square as well. He came up to us and said "Have you ever seen someone do this?" before putting his fingers behind his eyeballs. He got super excited when we didn't freak out and stood there for a few minutes repeating the show.

Posted by Rachel | October 30, 2008 11:59 AM

I work at the Westlake starbucks and he came in and did that to me. It was close to closing and I was so tired that I didn't react at all. I was just like "So, no Americano, then?"

Posted by Leah | October 30, 2008 1:24 PM

he asked me out for a beer. with eyeballs poppng out and everything.

Posted by whomsRU | October 30, 2008 1:33 PM

Some dick with a sign in front of the Broadway QFC was popping his eyeballs at horrified passers-by the other day. Is this the same guy? Is that his schtick?

Posted by Hooty Sapperticker | October 30, 2008 3:48 PM

Ewww! I HATE when people pop their eyeballs out. Eww eww eww!

Posted by Damien | October 30, 2008 5:08 PM

Is he any relation to Lindy West?

Posted by Cookie W. Monster | October 30, 2008 5:48 PM

Yeah, I work down in Pike Place Market and I've seen this guy on numerous occasions, I think he might hang around there a lot. He'll come into our store and do this to customers. It's gross but also hilarious.

Posted by Chris | October 30, 2008 7:26 PM

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