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Friday, September 12, 2008

Who or What is Haunting My Wall: You Decide!

posted by on September 12 at 12:48 PM

Yesterday, like any other morning, I woke up and opened my eyes. But unlike any other morning, I was confronted with the TERRIFYING DEMON FACE OF A BABY GHOST staring back at me out of the wall:


Clearly there’s some sort of restless spirit trapped within the bricks. My question for you, Slog, is WHO THE FUCK IS IT? I can’t figure out who it looks like.

Is it Beaker from the Muppets?


Little Karl Pilkington and his baldy roundy head?


Baby Ronald McDonald?


Thoughts? Ideas? Exorcists? All I know is that it’s there, PEEKIN’ at me while I sleep, and I want it to stop.

RSS icon Comments


It looks like of like a sad Pikachu to me.

Posted by Julie in Chicago | September 12, 2008 12:52 PM

errr... "kind of like a sad Pikachu"

Posted by Julie in Chicago | September 12, 2008 12:53 PM

I find baby ronald mcdonald extremely creepy.

Posted by hal | September 12, 2008 12:54 PM

It's the dude from My Chemical Romance. MOVE NOW.

Posted by Fnarf | September 12, 2008 12:55 PM

It's Calvin. He misses Hobbes. And I miss them both dearly.

Posted by Bub | September 12, 2008 1:00 PM

He looks friendly. Calm down.

Posted by Mr. Poe | September 12, 2008 1:00 PM

Billy Corgan. Again.

Posted by Matt Fuckin' Hickey | September 12, 2008 1:02 PM

I also see Pikachu.

Posted by pareidoliologist | September 12, 2008 1:04 PM
Posted by tabletop_joe | September 12, 2008 1:05 PM

That man has a head like a fucking orange.

Posted by Ziggity | September 12, 2008 1:06 PM

Is it Butoh Grace Jones?

Posted by Drawmark | September 12, 2008 1:07 PM

You better hope to God it's not Baby Ronald McDonald, because that is the most fu*ked up thing I've seen in my life.

Posted by Dougsf | September 12, 2008 1:07 PM

Where do you wake up?
That looks like some scary parking lot cinder block.

Posted by Scott Dow | September 12, 2008 1:08 PM

Jeez, where's your bedroom, Beirut circa 1990?

Posted by rob | September 12, 2008 1:10 PM

Can we just take a break from the superstitious hysteria here and embrace science. I assume you live in Seattle which is very humid and causes any possible material to oxidize including whatever residue of alloy that's left on your brick. As for the similarity to a face in the pattern, well, I hope swirly patterns on wood don't scare you, or clouds for that matter. You should be more concerned about baby Ronald McD he, on the other hand, is in your closet and a comin' ta getcha!

Posted by superfood | September 12, 2008 1:10 PM

Clearly it's Frankenstein's Monster.

Posted by PdxRitchie | September 12, 2008 1:11 PM

I am just here to voice my approval of exposed brick interiors.

Posted by Darcy | September 12, 2008 1:15 PM

Jerry Falwell.

Posted by PopTart | September 12, 2008 1:18 PM

I'm with 3. that is the creepiest thing I've seen in my life.

Posted by Mike in MO | September 12, 2008 1:20 PM

It's Karl Rove.

Posted by Emily G | September 12, 2008 1:20 PM

The frown, the widows-peak, the wee pointy ears? That's Eddie Munster, TV's Butch Patrick.

No one's seen him in years.

Posted by Buzzy | September 12, 2008 1:27 PM
Posted by elenchos | September 12, 2008 1:31 PM

Looks like Lou Reed to me.

Posted by Betsy Ross | September 12, 2008 1:42 PM

It's the African Dafara demon. Read on.

Deep in the West African savanna of Burkina Faso near the small mud brick and sheet metal village of Koro there is a mystery.

The place is called Dafara. It is an anomaly in the flat landscape that stretches for miles in all directions. It is as if the earth collapsed here, like God punched a hole in the ground and the darkness came flooding in. The local missionaries call it “The Rocks” because the hundred meter diameter hole in the earth is edged by sharp shale cliffs. There is a single trail that leads through the dense foliage to the bottom of the ravine that gently angles down into a scene that is both other worldly and frightening.

The first thing you notice is the stench. It is a dank putrid odor of blood, bile and rotting gore that permeates the entire valley, the odor of death. The second thing you notice is the blood. At first glance it looks as if the entire floor of the ravine is covered in dark thick blood. Every rock has been used to carve the animals brought down the path for sacrifice, and it is not only covered in the thick ink of life but indistinguishable pieces of flesh and bone lay scattered about as evidence of the hecatomb butchery that befalls the victims of the sacred god. A god that dwells in the dark recesses of the watery abyss that dominates the center of the chasm.

The murky pond is roughly kidney shaped and covers an area just slightly smaller than that of an Olympic sized pool. How deep it is, no one can know since the fertility god that abides here is no idol made out of wood or stone. No, the fertility god that demands the sacrifice of highly prized livestock is a living creature.

Were no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I. A full commitment is what I'm thinking of, you wouldn't get this from any other guy. I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling, Gotta make you understand.

Never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye, Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

We've know each other for so long, your hearts been aching--but you're too shy to say it. Inside we both know whats been going on. We know the game and were gonna play it. And if you ask me how I'm feeling, don't tell me you're too blind to see.

Never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye, Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

Days later they found his bones along the shore.

Posted by Matt Fuckin' Hickey | September 12, 2008 1:47 PM

Trig Palin

Posted by onion | September 12, 2008 1:50 PM

I thought it was Ling-Ling.

die die kill kill die die kill kill!

Posted by monkey | September 12, 2008 1:55 PM

I am here to voice my approval of Karl Pilkington and his little round head.

Posted by Mary T | September 12, 2008 2:04 PM

It appears that you are a shooter. Next time try aiming into a towel its easier to clean than brick.

Posted by Party of one | September 12, 2008 2:13 PM

The dead pikachu thing is just there to obscure the more ominous being you can see just to the right of it.

Or protecting you...

Posted by wino | September 12, 2008 2:24 PM

It's silhouette of Marilyn Monroe in The Seven Year Itch.

Posted by Spoogie | September 12, 2008 2:37 PM

If I have learned anything from TV (and I must have, right?) is that you must find the corpse and salt and burn it. YOU NEED THE SALT! It won't work without the salt. Ghosts hate the salt. It makes them bloaty.

*this message is brought to you by Supernatural.

Posted by Original Monique | September 12, 2008 2:41 PM

Wrong, wrong, WRONG!! It's Wilson, Tom Hanks' bloody buddy on the island in Castaway. Guess he had a tough time with typecasting after that movie (Wilson, not Hanks).

Posted by Not a Tom Hanks fan | September 12, 2008 2:44 PM

It looks like the monstrous nice guy from "the Goonies." I cannot remember his name for the life of me though.

Posted by Amy | September 12, 2008 2:54 PM

You should ask Keck and Frizzelle to pay you so you can move into an apartment.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | September 12, 2008 3:00 PM

@ 33: Sloth.

"Sloth love Chunk!"

Posted by Mike in MO | September 12, 2008 3:12 PM

looks like leather face from that Texas chain saw movie.

Posted by irl | September 12, 2008 3:39 PM

I love you Matt. I wasn't going to read that because it was so long, but then I saw it was from you. Shoulda made it a bit shorter, I bet no one's reading it.

Where's my credit?!

Posted by Callie | September 12, 2008 3:40 PM

Keanu Reeves minus face

Posted by uncle baggy | September 12, 2008 3:48 PM

Do you live in an alley?

Or some overpriced shitty hipster place in SLU owned by Vulcan..?

Do you wake up smelling like boones farm and fetid urine or like indignant infantilism?

Posted by ecce homo | September 12, 2008 4:02 PM

She lives in the basement of a beautiful house owned by some kindly old people that let her have great parties in the back yard.

Posted by Callie | September 12, 2008 4:18 PM

Callie made me do it!

Posted by Matt Fuckin' Hickey | September 12, 2008 4:40 PM

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