Slog News & Arts

Line Out

Music & Nightlife

« Lying Liar | For Those Who Love Useless Map... »

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

“What’s Up, Bitches?”

posted by on September 10 at 15:45 PM

I’m proud to say that the film section scored a major coup this week: a guest review written by none other than legendary leading lady Diane Keaton.

Keaton shares her feisty, irrepressible lady-thoughts on The Women, a dramedy (opening this Friday) in which she does not star. And let’s just say she’s less than enthused:

What’s up, bitches? Diane Keaton here. I just got back from seeing The Women and, um, I couldn’t help but notice something: I AM NOT IN THIS MOVIE. Where the fuck am I? I am the queen bee of this shit… Hey, Hollywood. Write this down. Next time you make a two-hour vaginal suppository that hasn’t met a feminine cliché it didn’t dip in chocolate and shove down America’s gullet (smoking, shopping, cheating, faked orgasms, diets, supermodels, bubble baths, hunger, water breaking, Botox), maybe you should do your job and fucking call Diane Keaton. Bitches.

You go, Keaton! It’s truly an honor.

RSS icon Comments


And she lived (still lives?) in an amazing house by Frank Lloyd Wright's son so her taste in architecture is superb, as is the quality of her reviews!

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | September 10, 2008 3:52 PM

how dare you say she's feisty! you sexist pig!

Posted by shabba | September 10, 2008 3:55 PM

If anyone has seen her "Because I Said So", you know this new atrocity is not a surprise. I am still insulted by the awfulness that her character was in BISS.
Looks like DK needs pocket cash every now and again...

Posted by Sceptica | September 10, 2008 4:02 PM

Is this for real? We are talking about the Stranger here.

Posted by daniel | September 10, 2008 4:05 PM

Hey, where did my comment go?

Posted by Mr. Poe | September 10, 2008 4:15 PM

No shit, right?

Posted by monkey | September 10, 2008 4:16 PM

she's the oldest woman i want to fuck. i have always wanted to fuck her, even before puberty. she has to slum - so what? if someone gave her something good to act in, she's be on it like a hobo on a ham sandwich.

Posted by max solomon | September 10, 2008 4:19 PM

When I heard they were remaking "The Women" I knew it could never amount to much, because let's face it, divorce is common and cheating more common. Then I saw the trailer and wondered why it wasn't a 30 minute weekly sitcom on MYQ2 instead of a movie.

Posted by inkweary | September 10, 2008 4:28 PM

If only there could be a guest review from Rosalind Russell...

Posted by madamecrow | September 10, 2008 4:37 PM

I wish the animals were not scared of Diane Keaton.

Posted by Superfrankenstein | September 10, 2008 5:16 PM

The play and the '30s film are bitchy and awesome: Luce Booth (or is it Booth Luce? I always get that switched around) is definitely making fun of these emptiness and vapidity of the characters (not that they aren't witty and glamorous as all get out -- Norma Shearer, a young Joan Crawford, Rosalind Russell, etc.). And Rosalind Russell gave Paulette Godard a permanent scar because the latter bit the former during their fight scene. I saw a local theater production of this about a year about and it was pretty fun too.

It's like Meg Ryan has a personal grudge against my favorite '30s films ... Do yourself a favor and skip You've Got Mail or this new version of the The Women ... rent the Lubistch (The Shop Around the Corner, with Jimmy Stewart and Margaret Sullivan) or Cukor (the 30s The Women)versions instead.

Posted by chuchu | September 10, 2008 5:23 PM

Having met Diane, I call "fake".

She's not that erudite.

I'm sorry, but them's the facts, jacks.

Posted by Will in Seattle | September 10, 2008 11:02 PM

I've only seen trailers but I am appalled that Clair Booth Luce's estate would allow this film of what may be one of the finest movies (and plays) ever written. The film version was perfect just as it was and this remake looks like crap. 'The Women' is a period work and should only remain there. I will wait till DVD or better yet freebie on my ROKU. Hollywood can't come up with original material anymore so it trashed a perfect classic for a buck or two.

Posted by bostonian queer in dallas | September 11, 2008 2:00 AM

Oh come on! this is so fake!!!

Posted by Robyn | September 11, 2008 5:53 AM

Better yet, EW has a pic of Annette Bening labeled as Diane Keaton in their (not very warm) review:,,20224743,00.html

Posted by Pi | September 11, 2008 6:19 AM

@10 FTW

Posted by whatever | September 11, 2008 8:06 AM

Comments Closed

Comments are closed on this post.