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Thursday, September 18, 2008

We Warned You!

posted by on September 18 at 16:09 PM

Way back in 2004, The Stranger sounded the alarm on Kucinich’s asinine notion of creating a department-level Department of Peace.

Take it away, Josh Feit:

Kucinich’s brainchild, the dopey Department of Peace (let’s call it the DOP), has now made it onto the state Dems’ draft platform, which is up for ratification this weekend. If people were worried that screechy Howard Dean was going to jeopardize the party with angry antiwar rhetoric, they should be flat-out mortified about the direction in which Kucinich’s eager delegates are nudging the party. The Kucinich crowd seems intent on positioning the Ds in the same galaxy as the Raelians.


Not only will Washington Rs simply add water and stir to turn the asinine DOP into the best Republican attack ad of all time, but it’s financially irresponsible for Democrats to propose a new government agency while criticizing the Bush administration for running up a $521 billion deficit.

It passed. I believe it passed this year too, but I’m having trouble with the version of the PDF on the state Ds’ website.

Well, our homestate Rs might be a little slow, but Colorado foes of Democratic Senate candidate Mark Udall have jumped all over the Department of Peace. Sample ad:

Let this be a lesson to hippie Dems. You will be held responsible for your dopey ideas.

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This is why I say such nasty shit about the core Democratic activists. The ones with nothing better to do than show up for every single district meeting, and remind us how much we owe them. Losers.

Go ride your recombinant bikes and bitch about condos, you old farts. The future doesn't include you anyway, so why must you meddle with it?

Posted by elenchos | September 18, 2008 4:20 PM

"Hippie dems"? Fuck you Annie Wagner. Didn't they get rid of you? Aren't you gone? Why do we still have to listen to your shit? Please go away and stay away.

Posted by charlotte | September 18, 2008 4:21 PM

Yeah, peace is stupid. I prefer pro-war Dems like Lieberman and Savage.

Posted by DOUG. | September 18, 2008 4:25 PM

Yes, hippie Dems. Hippie Dems who long for an apartment of peas.

Way to marginalize your own freaking platform.

And don't raise the whole "non-violent communication" subject. We all know it's just passive aggressiveness kicked up a notch.

Posted by microveldt | September 18, 2008 4:31 PM

The DOP(e) passed in, at least, King County. I was at the county convention, which is still affecting my capacity for dealing with randomness, useless stodginess, and all other manner of bullshit. Sheesh. Don't we have a State Department or something?
But, hell, if they simply wanted to rename the State Department as the Department of Peace, I'd still be against it. It just sounds so damn Orwellian.

Posted by pbaitch | September 18, 2008 4:32 PM

Pish posh. The 527's have been running nastier smears than that of "Boulder liberal Mark Udall" all over Colorado TV, and all they've done is increase his lead in the polls. He's set to crush Schaffer by about 20 points.

Posted by Toe Tag | September 18, 2008 4:34 PM

Id like the Washington State Dems more if they werent a bunch of Self-Important Unitarian Flunkies. I went to the 43rd district nomination as an obama delegate but the amount of ridiculous shit I saw there was enough to turn me off to being part of the democratic party in any capacity beyond voting.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | September 18, 2008 4:41 PM

Annie is right on, except for the very last sentence. They do not get held responsible for their dopey ideas. Their party looses elections, so they never have to actually govern, and they can continue to spout Noam Chomsky quotes about the oppression inherent in the system while they live out their comfortable middle-class lives sipping fair-trade coffee. It all works out for them brilliantly.

Posted by David Wright | September 18, 2008 4:43 PM

Ha! Peace is stupid.

Posted by flamingbanjo | September 18, 2008 4:58 PM

Bellevue Ave hates each Unitarian more than the last. He has stated on many occasions just how much he hates them and how every one he has known has been annoying and unworthy of his respect. He is totally right about the Washington State Dems though.

Posted by Mikki | September 18, 2008 5:12 PM

The department of Peace would replace the department of War. It would cost less, since we wouldn't be spending billions on war. So all you fucking poser democrats who want a department of war, fuck off and move to Iran or become a republican.

Posted by fuck you | September 18, 2008 5:15 PM

I agree with @ 2 and @ 11. Can we just forget you already, you secret Republican witch? You are the most forgettable blip that ever wrote for the Stranger. Please, just get gone already.

Posted by flaming bandaid | September 18, 2008 5:30 PM

ha ha! than was really rude to witches.

Posted by Jojo | September 18, 2008 5:37 PM

Um, what? Annie's the smartest writer The Stranger has ever had. And the Department of Patchouli is the stupidest idea any major party has ever had.

Posted by Fnarf | September 18, 2008 5:49 PM

Yeah, peace. Nothing could be more pornographic to most Americans.

Posted by Original Andrew | September 18, 2008 6:19 PM

more blame a left that has no power.

meanwhile, as just one example of what a waste of time this is, has slog ever criticized state republicans responsible for passing a proposal to take away the citizenship of children born in the us whose parents are undocumented immigrants?

not that i can remember. has the democratic party done much to talk about this idea and how whacked out the republicans hare? no. why so much ink on the peace department compared to republicans' nutty ideas? because dems would rather blame the left for their failures than attack the right head on. which plays right into the republicans' hands.

Posted by wf | September 18, 2008 6:58 PM

Where did all the stupidheads come from all of a sudden?

Here's a hint, fools: a Department of Peace doesn't mean you get peace. Here's another: calling for a Department of Peace dramatically increases your chances of more war, since you'll get more Republicans if you do.

Posted by Fnarf | September 18, 2008 7:01 PM

You all are mocking a true human emotion that always longs for PEACE, sentimental or idealistic or whatever.

I think it is great backfire issue. The whole fucking planet longs for PEACE as a dozen wars are on going from Georgia to Iraq to Darfur ... and down the horrible list.

Bet fnarf has them all memorized to pass the pop quiz he is always sill taking.

Go PEACE. More PEACE. Yes for better messages than the cabinet position.

Frankly, the pot smoke coming out of the van is funny. And works for Udall. Good message, friendly and real life.

Posted by Mike 777 | September 18, 2008 7:01 PM

Wouldn't the Department of Peace basically fulfill a portion of the duties of the Department of State?

Posted by Chris in Tampa | September 18, 2008 7:14 PM

@19: Yes, and it would further undercut the stature of that department, which has suffered since Powell was forced to make that lame presentation to the UN. Moreover, under a Republican administration, a Department of Peace would be converted into a mockery of its name. There is no reason whatsoever to drain functions and resources from the Department of State in order to make hippies happy. Hippies have other ways of getting happy.

@2: I start law school in two weeks. I promise to make myself scarcer then.

Posted by annie | September 18, 2008 7:20 PM

Congratulations, Annie! Where are you going to law school? What (aside from making a lot more money) do you plan to do with your law degree? Best of luck.

Posted by David Wright | September 18, 2008 7:27 PM

i cannot believe people are against this. every organization has to revise its mission once in a while. we had a department of war until 1949, when (after the worst war in history) we realized it was horrible to have a department dedicated to waging war. now that the "department of defense" means "department of killing them so they they can't kill us", we need to revise the mission statement again.

how the hell could you have a problem with that unless you're a bloodthirsty war-profiteering neocon?

Posted by jrrrl | September 18, 2008 8:22 PM

Yes, how could you???

Isn't the nation concerned with the happiness of its citizens? Can we get a department for that too?

Posted by Chris in Tampa | September 18, 2008 8:32 PM

Stupid ideas?

You mean like the 26 years that McCain pushed for deregulation?

Like that?

Posted by Will in Seattle | September 18, 2008 10:12 PM

Is this the same idea as the civilian national security force proposed by Obama?

Posted by Winchell | September 18, 2008 11:28 PM

In related news, gay marriage is an election year issue again this time.

Posted by Michael J Swassing | September 19, 2008 12:53 AM

If the best the Republicans can come up with is that Democrats enjoy peace and would like to officially promote that value through our government, we really shouldn't need to worry.

"Hey, you liberal fucks, I hear you like peace, ya pansies!" Yeah, that guy is never going to vote D, no matter how many homes he loses in the mortgage meltdown.

Posted by Ryan | September 19, 2008 7:20 AM

I support peace. A Dept of Peace sounds fine to me. I am too young to be a "hippie." I learned about them from watching the History Channel though.

Posted by Diane | September 19, 2008 8:53 AM

it's a stupid idea because it creates another bureaucratic entity that doesn't actually DO anything only at the behest of people doing it simply to make a political point. What will the Dept of Peace actually do?

Posted by Bellevue Ave | September 19, 2008 9:55 AM

From what I remember of a campaign talk DK made in Salem in 2004, the Dept. of Peace works in the same sphere as the State Dept, excpet, you know, less fucking up other people's shit. Also, funding isn't a problem when you promise to reduce the DoD by 15%.

The name doesn't work for rednecks and macho macho men, sure, but beyond that it just gets into an old argument of whether you push for justice full steam ahead or hold back to slowly garner the support of bigots, et al.

Don't be a hater!

Posted by ragold | September 19, 2008 10:30 AM

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