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Monday, September 22, 2008

This Is Why They Come in Packs of Two

posted by on September 22 at 17:00 PM

News or product placement?

SOUTH BEND – A 20-year-old man told police he was stabbed by his younger brother Sunday night after a fight broke out over a Hot Pocket.

Yes, Hot Pockets™. So good, you’ll stab your brother.

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Dead pocketsss

Posted by Darcy | September 22, 2008 5:05 PM

You don't even want to know what I'd do for a Klondike bar.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | September 22, 2008 5:19 PM

I can understand if it was a Pepperoni Pizza Hot Pocket. Those are definitely stab-worthy.

Posted by Julie K. | September 22, 2008 5:44 PM

I would stab my brother to NOT have to eat a fucking hot pocket. Ugh.

Posted by Jerod | September 22, 2008 5:45 PM

@2, I've done horrible things for Klondike bars. Frankly, I probably should go to rehab so I don't end up another fat Midwesterner.

Hot Pockets...pretty much diarrhea wrapped up in a flaky crust.

Posted by Leslie N. | September 22, 2008 5:52 PM

This reminds me of Jim Gaffigan, which is never a bad thing.

Posted by Aislinn | September 22, 2008 5:55 PM

If his brother didn't stab him for the Hot Pocket, he'd just be bleeding out his ass later.

Posted by Brian | September 22, 2008 7:49 PM

The distance between the Cain and Abel legend and this is a good example of the dynamic that drives Christianity. It's not a desire for righteousness. It's a longing for significant drama. The relevant decadence isn't that of the slide from morality into relativism. It's the fall from killing one's brother over Yahweh's refusal of his animal sacrifice to stabbing one's brother over an industriall produced savory pastry.

Posted by kinaidos | September 22, 2008 8:22 PM

ok, whatever

Posted by ur doin it rong | September 22, 2008 9:59 PM

Hey, wow; I grew up in South Bend. This makes me feel kind of nostalgic.

Posted by yuiop | September 22, 2008 10:53 PM

I'm from that area too. Though I never stabbed a family member over a hot pocket. Maybe a bagel bite or a corn dog, but not a hot pocket. Since leaving the midwest however, I have discovered that midwesterners are idiots.

Posted by Jinxie | September 23, 2008 11:36 AM

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