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Thursday, September 25, 2008

Savage Love Letter of the Day

posted by on September 25 at 16:36 PM

I’m a straight female. My boyfriend and I were together for almost 6 years, and then we broke up for a year. Now we’re back together and the sex is better than ever; he’s not nearly as inhibited as he used to be. He’s also apparently developed some new kinks, which is great. But one of them confuses me: he wants to lick my armpit. Is this normal? I’d feel really self-conscious. Is this just some weird hangup on my part that I need to just get over? And if I do let him lick it, am I obligated to lick his armpit in return? I’m not sure I want to go there. Do any of your readers have experience with this? Pretty Unsure

An actual, honest-to-God “Savage Love” letteróbut it came in about two weeks ago, not today. But how could I resist?

God alone knows what happened to your boyfriend during the year you were apart, PU. A sudden thing for armpits? Either your boyfriend was kidnapped and sold to gay pirates who in turn sold him to a gay brothel in Amsterdam where any number of unspeakably kinky things were done to him… or… your boyfriend suddenly realized that armpits are not, as deodorant commercials would have us believe, filthy little shitdivots teaming with germs and bacteria and other stankbugs. Instead, he somehow realized that armpit are an erogenous zone where crazy-making glands secrete crazy-making sex pheromones and that once a person gets over his or her advertising-induced psychosis about his armpits, there’s pretty much nothing hotter than burying your face in the armpit of someone you love.

RSS icon Comments

1

srsly!
The area between the breast and the upper arm is possibly the SEXIEST sweetness ever!
On guys too, it's a great place to cuddle up!

Posted by yeah! | September 25, 2008 4:43 PM
2

LET HIM LICK YOUR ARMPIT.
seriously
you will not regret it.

armpit licking is awesome!!!!!

Posted by yesiree | September 25, 2008 4:44 PM
3

I "seriously" should have avoided Slog entirely today.

Posted by whatevernevermind | September 25, 2008 4:51 PM
4

Arrr, matey, I'm surprised nobody has made mention of the gay pirates of Amsterdam. Mr. Poe, your thoughts sir?

Posted by Long Dong Silver | September 25, 2008 4:53 PM
5

Dan, the boyfriend probably knows what happened to the boyfriend during the year they were apart.

Posted by Ben | September 25, 2008 4:54 PM
6

@1 - Absolutely!

I just had a similar conversation with my man the other night! I started talking pheremones, and Dan Savage quotes (about liking how someone's spit tastes, etc.), and finally just blurted..."baby, I love the way you stink!" And I stuck my nose in his armpit.


Posted by schnoodle | September 25, 2008 4:56 PM
7

Just don't wear anti-perspirant, for the sake of the moisture content of your partner's mouth.

Posted by w7ngman | September 25, 2008 4:56 PM
8

On September 18, 2008, Dan Savage wrote:

"Nothing shrivels the ol' dick quite as quickly as the "What?!?" bomb.

There the guy was, boned for you, and he was brave enough to put his desires out there, to make himself vulnerable (which is what the ladies are always saying they want, right?), and you lobbed the ol' "What?!?" bomb at him and made him feel like a freak. Is it any wonder that he quickly moved on to "other things" and, one would hope, better sex partners?
...
So here's what you missed out on, RIT: a safe and unique sexual experience with a guy who isn't afraid of his own desires but is, it seems, too easily spooked by the odd "What?!?" Who knows? Maybe he was "the one," but your reaction to his kink prompted him to go off in search of more indulgent, less-sex-negative partners.

Your loss, I'd say."

Dan Savage was wrong then and he's wrong now. Can the American People ever trust Dan Savage again after ruining this young girl's life???

Posted by Chris in Tampa | September 25, 2008 4:57 PM
9

More unshaven female armpits, please.

Posted by Sean | September 25, 2008 5:04 PM
10

"Divine I am, inside and out, and I make holy what I touch, or am touch'd from,
The scent of these arm-pits aroma finer than prayer,
This head more than churches, bibles, and all the creeds.

If I worship one thing more than another it shall be the spread of my own body, or any part of it." --Walt Whitman, "Song of Myself"

Posted by OH | September 25, 2008 5:12 PM
11

Amen

:swoon:

Posted by violet_dagrinder | September 25, 2008 5:17 PM
12

If PU doesn't want to go there, she doesn't have to, but really, what a benign request. PU's concern is yet another indication of how many women think their bodies are disgusting. It makes me sad. Geez, it's just a little sweat. I'll bet PU's armpits are pretty damn clean--given her gross-out response and all, she probably showers frequently and loads up on hygiene products. Sweat, unless it's in excess or has been allowed to age, really isn't that bad. It's certainly preferable to all that nasty petro-chemical-stinky-pseudo-flowery-carcinogenic crap packed into "personal products" like deodorant and body lotion. I'm not sayin' women should stop showering. I am saying that barring some medical condition, if you shower once or twice a day your sweat's probably just fine, safe for consumption, if you will. And again, what a benign request. Why not try it? Really, with everything else that's going on in the world worrying about this really wastes your time. Women waste way too much time worrying about being gross and miss lots of other interesting and fun stuff in the meantime. So yeah PU, and I mean this in the nicest possible way, do yourself a favor and get over it.

Posted by what's the big deal? | September 25, 2008 6:21 PM
13

@7: Oh, Christ, seriously. Rubbing alcohol with a sort of piquant Manly Evergreen flavor, mmmm.

Posted by Darcy | September 25, 2008 6:42 PM
14

Ewwww.

Not the sweat, the chemicals. Don't you guys use antiperspirant, or deodorant? I wouldn't want someone I liked to lap up my aluminum zirconium tetrachrolohydrex.

Posted by puzzlegal | September 25, 2008 8:54 PM
15

wow. dan savage and I totally agree on something. fancy that.

Posted by smiller555 | September 25, 2008 8:57 PM
16

puzzlegal wrote:
"Ewwww.

Not the sweat, the chemicals. Don't you guys use antiperspirant, or deodorant? I wouldn't want someone I liked to lap up my aluminum zirconium tetrachrolohydrex."

So wash first. If your SO likes armpit, I bet he'll be happy to wait while you sluice off the chemicals.

Sheesh.

Posted by Helena | September 25, 2008 11:00 PM
17

I gotta say, I'm with the "armpits are gross" crowd. Of course, I'll stick my face/tongue in all sorts of other places on the human body. I guess I've succumb to a lifetime of deoderant ads.

Maybe next time I'll give it a whirl.

Posted by Mike in MO | September 26, 2008 7:19 AM
18

I love the way my lady stinks. Pheremones, baby!

Posted by Rotten666 | September 26, 2008 8:37 AM
19

I'd never done the armpit thing until I was dating this hot musclebear who shyly disclosed his love of having his pits licked. So I dove in and it was as much a turn on for me as for him. Once licked his pits in the middle of an amusement park ride too. But that aside, don't knock it til you've tried it.

Posted by behrmark | September 26, 2008 8:41 AM
20

@15 Of course I find you in THIS thread! Not my particular fetish, but I definitely see the attraction and I think for this girl a simple, "Yes its totally normal and you should embrace it." would be best for her.

I'm too ticklish for it personally, but I sometime grab my wife's armpits from behind during "coitus."

Posted by Jeremy from Seattle | September 26, 2008 8:43 AM
21

@9

unshaven armpits on men or women is just.... yack.... blarg. *shudder*. You're more than welcome to those hairy pits :P

Posted by Wurm | September 26, 2008 10:37 AM

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