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Monday, September 22, 2008

Pit Bull Terrorizes Entire City Block

posted by on September 22 at 17:26 PM

The pit bull pictured in the terrible photo below was locked in a car outside The Stranger’s offices, and therefore unable to chew off anybody’s face. Instead, it cleverly decided to sit on the car’s horn for about five minutes straight, driving the whole block temporarily insane.


Well played, sir.

When I walked out to get a picture, he jumped into the back seat and has remained there so far.

How do I know it’s a he? He has great big balls (not pictured), for the making of more pit bulls.

UPDATE: Window was cracked. No evidence whatsoever that this dog owner is irresponsible, other than the dog’s continued possession of nutsack.

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Notice how the owner of this dog:

1. Hasn't neutered the dog.

2. Leaves the dog in a closed-up car for an extended period of time.

3. Apparently doesn't crack windows for the dog (I can't tell from the photo at least), which is required.

All three are signs that the owner isn't qualified to own a dog (and is probably a dog neglecter), and that that dog likely IS very dangerous because the owner doesn't know the first thing about owning a dog.

Posted by Simac | September 22, 2008 5:37 PM

@1 - There's no evidence the dog is neglected. The window was cracked, and the dog hasn't been there for anything like an unreasonable amount of time.

Posted by Anthony Hecht | September 22, 2008 5:41 PM

@1, so, which of these three solutions do you propose?

1) go door to door, force your way into every home, and search top to bottom for un-neutered dogs, then forcefully neuter them or take the dogs into protective custody

2) make everyone adopting or breeding a dog pass a comprehensive dog-ownership test and conduct bi-annual home checks to ensure they are following up with good dog ownership behavior, and if they aren't, take the dogs into protective custody

3) just ban fucking pit bulls

Posted by jrrrl | September 22, 2008 5:42 PM

Who wants to get together and neuter the dog AND its owner?

@ #3,

1.) yes
2.) yes
3.) maybe

Posted by Y.F. | September 22, 2008 6:02 PM

I think it was me kicking at Dave Grohl's beer can in Miller town,, Sorry Dave, Thanks for the protection.

Posted by d.b.kieneker | September 22, 2008 6:08 PM

That's sort of amazing that a pitbull brought a peaceful act of civil misconduct to the Stranger offices.

Posted by Dougsf | September 22, 2008 6:11 PM

@ 3: all three suggestions are equally realistic, and all have equal likelyhood of working.

Although forcefully neutering all dogs is actually my favorite of the three.

Posted by Mike in MO | September 22, 2008 6:12 PM

You know, I despised pit bulls until I started reading the high pitched nasal whining of Seattle hipsters who are afraid of (and deeply despondent over) their own fucking shadows. Now I want to get one and slap him in the head with tennis shoes and bricks from the day he's weaned just to make him mean and nasty.

God, some of you are such shriekers. I'm sort of stunned nobody asked if he was poppin the ignition with a screwdriver trying to jack the car.

Posted by Bob | September 22, 2008 6:13 PM


Just for the record, my shadow has never attacked me, nor has it ever attempted to rip out my neck, limbs, or try to tear my face off.

And clearly, you're just the sort of imbecilic fuckwit that keeps so-called "responsible pit bull owners" awake at night.

Posted by COMTE | September 22, 2008 6:44 PM

@7 i am intrigued, breed bans currently work in seattle and pit bull bans show effectiveness in denver. where are these home invasion methods of pit bull control working and how do you bypass the 3rd amendment?

Posted by jrrrl | September 22, 2008 6:44 PM

oh, and here is a list of all of the cities and counties that currently have breed ban laws on the books (it's king county, not seattle, that currently has at least one dog breed ban in effect). a pit bull ban isn't novel in any way.

you can tell by the web design that this is an anti-breed ban site.

Posted by jrrrl | September 22, 2008 7:00 PM

With the next great depression looming, the aptness of pets as meat becomes an increasingly important item to settle on. Pitbulls don't look particularly tasty, but with some marinating, they'd probably make a decent stew.

Posted by kinaidos | September 22, 2008 7:04 PM

No pics clearly showing license plate as well as make, model, and color of vehicle?

Posted by rob | September 22, 2008 7:17 PM

OK, I laughed at the irony, I admit it.

Posted by PopTart | September 22, 2008 7:35 PM

All the more reason to ban car horns.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | September 22, 2008 7:38 PM

There are 155 pink tents now squatting in south seattle and you hacks are covering a dog outside your workplace?


Posted by bobcat | September 22, 2008 7:47 PM

Well....You are scary...It's no wonder he jumped in the back seat.

Posted by Jane Doh! | September 22, 2008 8:12 PM

@9 and neither has a pitbull, has it? Yet you're scared shitless of them.

Posted by Bob | September 22, 2008 10:57 PM

I came here for the slobber. I am not leaving disappointed.

Posted by uncle baggy | September 22, 2008 11:36 PM

I'm not scared of pit bulls in the least. I don't own one, neither does anyone I know.

I'm much more concerned about whether to withdraw my office operating funds from WaMu than I am about personally being attacked by a pit bull.

Posted by COMTE | September 22, 2008 11:44 PM

so, did someone eventually come for the dog or is the poor dear still sitting in a parked car all lonesome?

Posted by Mike in MO | September 23, 2008 5:42 AM

I've watched a pug use her paws to honk the horn of a van outside a PCC. This pit bull, while potentially bloodthirsty, is lazy and weak.

Posted by WenG | September 23, 2008 9:49 AM

While its all good to just sit here and whine about Pit Bulls instead of attempting to work through the civic political process, its reassuring to know that if someone else gets off their asses and puts an initiative paper in front of your face, you'll be angry enough to sign it.

Posted by jacob | September 23, 2008 10:03 AM

my horn doesn't work when the key isn't in the ignition. so WTF.

and, with adequate ventilation, leaving a dog in the car isn't abuse. they just sit at home waiting for you anyway, they might as well be in the car waiting where they get to be with you as much as possible. they just want to go where the alpha goes.

Posted by max solomon | September 23, 2008 10:05 AM

@ 16 -- Not pink. Fuschia.

Y'd think that would rate SLOG coverage, if anything would.

Posted by RonK, Seattle | September 23, 2008 11:42 AM

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