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Friday, September 19, 2008

Midnight Meat Train

posted by on September 19 at 17:45 PM

Back in August I trekked out to Federal Way to review The Midnight Meat Train, a Clive Barker brain-smooshing horror movie beset by distribution problems (Lionsgate released it in less than 100 discount theaters nationwide). Needless to say, this experience was traumatic for me:

Listen, horror. I’ve said it before. I hate literally everything about your genre. I can’t abide gore unless it is camp. Cold-blooded skull squishery does not interest me, nor does Ted Raimi’s eyeball blasting from its socket, nor does a human strung up and bleeding out like a slaughtered piggy. Nor monsters. It’s nothing personal, I just DO NOT WANT IT IN MY AREA.

But I very much respect that there ARE people who want to see Midnight Meat Train on the big screen. And if YOU are one of those people and you just happen to live in Kitsap County, well then, FUCK YEAH! A nice man at the Historic Port Orchard Theater e-mailed me to let me know that they’re screening Midnight Meat Train September 19-25. So get thee to Port Orchard, horror fans.

And while we’re on the subject, this gives me the chance to correct a woeful mistake. In that column about Midnight Meat Train, I listed a series of “far, far worse horror movies” in which I jokingly referred to the movie Saw II as “Saw II: Back in the Habit.”

Clearly, this joke would have been much funnier if I had written, “Saw II: The Legend of Curly’s Gold.” I apologize for the oversight.

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I'd like to be happy for Ted Raimi that he's actually still working, but... not if he doesn't even get to keep both his eyeballs.

Joxer the Mighty roams through the countryside, never needs a place to hide...

Posted by Darcy | September 19, 2008 6:02 PM

I appreciate the correction. Did you see Saw II And A Little Lady?

Posted by superfrankenstein | September 19, 2008 6:47 PM

Saw 2: Electric Boogaloo.

Posted by tsm | September 19, 2008 10:26 PM

I'm the same way about horror, but especially the mind fuck asian stuff my lady likes to watch and then wake me up a few nites a week after because she's having bad dreams. I have enough fucked up imagery constantly looping in my head already.

Posted by drew | September 19, 2008 11:40 PM

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