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Monday, September 1, 2008

Knocked Up

posted by on September 1 at 9:14 AM

She wasn’t pregnant then, but she’s pregnant now.

The 17-year-old daughter of Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin is pregnant, Palin said on Monday in an announcement intended to knock down rumors by liberal bloggers that Palin faked her own pregnancy to cover up for her child.

Bristol Palin, one of Alaska Gov. Palin’s five children with her husband, Todd, is about five months pregnant and is going to keep the child and marry the father, the Palins said in a statement released by the campaign of Republican presidential candidate John McCain.


First, did Palin let the McCain Keystone Vetters know that her 17 year-old daughter was pregnant before he put Palin on the GOP ticket?

And, I’m sorry, but if abstinence education can’t keep the daughter of the evangelical governor of Alaska off the cock, what hope is there for the daughters—and sons—of average Americans? Seriously: The GOP has poured hundreds of millions of dollars into abstinence “education” programs over the last 10 years (with an assist from Democrats terrified of appearing “soft” on teen sex). This public investment of funds gives us the right to ask why Palin’s daughter, despite this massive outlay on the part of the American taxpayer and the example of her married heterosexual fundy parents, nevertheless become sexually active while still in high school.

Back to the story:

The Palins asked the news media to respect the young couple’s privacy.

Hilarious. When it comes to respecting your kids’ privacy, the GOP doesn’t see a need. They want to tell you when and how to have kids, and they want to tell your kids when and how they can have sex. And if their own kids fail to live up to the standards the GOP seeks to impose on your family, well, suddenly teen sexuality is a private matter, and you’re a boor for even bringing it up.

Sorry, but if the federal government is going to pour hundreds of millions—billions—into abstinence “education” programs, we have a right to ask if these programs are effective. You know: Is our children abstaining? Sarah Palin’s aren’t, and I strongly suspect that Jenna Bush wasn’t a virgin on her wedding night either.

RSS icon Comments


But ... but .. but she's keeping the baby! That's the real test here. Isn't it?

Posted by Bub | September 1, 2008 9:23 AM

wtf?! We're all in for a real hillbilly soap opera!

Posted by poster girl | September 1, 2008 9:25 AM

According to the article you linked to, the answer to your first question is yes.

Posted by Mac | September 1, 2008 9:25 AM

Mac: actually, the article states that *McCain* knew. It doesn't mention if his vetters also knew.

McCain probably thought it was cute and didn't tell others.

Posted by stinkbug | September 1, 2008 9:28 AM

i have a feeling mccain may dump her. just sayin'.

Posted by scary tyler moore | September 1, 2008 9:29 AM

I just found this trailer to a film made about Palin's fifth child:

If this woman is elected to office, the world is in danger...her child will kill us all.

Posted by patrick | September 1, 2008 9:31 AM

Holy Trailer-trash, Batman!
One giant leap for abstinence education-

I think the McCain campaign just broke its water.

Posted by Karlheinz Arschbomber | September 1, 2008 9:33 AM

well Palin is also a supporter of contraceptive. so I guess that failed her too.

Posted by DW | September 1, 2008 9:33 AM

Oh, the conservatives will run to her side, saying that this proves that they are committed to being pro-life. Better not hit Bristol or Sarah hard, or it will come back to haunt you. ...The only thing I wonder about is that since Bristol is 17 yrs old, is the father 18 or older?

Posted by Fitz | September 1, 2008 9:34 AM

Bristol Palin had sex before marriage? Doesnt that technically make this bastard baby?

Posted by blaire with an e | September 1, 2008 9:34 AM

Crikey. But what if she didn't want to marry the father of her kid? You think that's an option?

Posted by Kristen | September 1, 2008 9:35 AM

Too bad Palin wasn't the ex-major of Juneau, woulda made Juno jokes better.

Posted by stinkbug | September 1, 2008 9:38 AM

How many minutes before someone posts a YouTube video mashup of Palin underscored by Madonna's "Papa Don't Preach"?

Posted by Andy Niable | September 1, 2008 9:41 AM

Unsupported rumor creation:

They are faking this 'new' pregnancy to add cover for the earlier fiasco.

Expect a miscarriage in secret, in Wasilla.

OK, this is silly, but no sillier than the concept of electing McCain or this beehive Betty.

Please, end this nightmare. Sad & Pathetic.

Posted by Karlheinz Arschbomber | September 1, 2008 9:47 AM

The good news: the Vice President's Residence is 9,150 sq. feet (not including the bunker), so there should be enough room if Bristol, her beau, and her baby want to live there with her mom, dad, and four siblings.

Posted by stinkbug | September 1, 2008 9:54 AM

@9 Age of consent in Alaska appears to basically be 16, with caveats about how much older one person is than the other:

Since I think it would be very difficult to eventually conceal the pregnancy, despite all the fun everyone had this weekend about Trig, I suspect that McCain and at least some of his campaign people knew about it.

This is murky water to tread into. Hammering on the evidence that abstinence education doesn't work is good. But, there are many people right now dealing with teenage pregnancies in their own households and there are also lots and lots of parents who can relate to having a "wild child" which Bristol definitely is (don't ask me how I know that because I won't tell you). So, some people may relate to Palin's family drama.

Overall, keeping the focus on abstinence education not working and on keeping abortion a choice will probably eventually serve the main goal (not electing John McCain) better than nasty attacks on Palin and her family, which could elicit sympathy.

Posted by PopTart | September 1, 2008 9:57 AM

If this is the way the Republicans think they're getting the suburban mom vote they're are fucking nuts (or more nuts or something). First, suburban moms don't bring DS babies into this world; Second, if they do they don't fly with 'em when they're not supposed to and they don't go back to work a couple of days latter; Thirdly suburban moms don't want their 17 y.o. girl to get pregnant by a guy named Levi. Like most fundys, this woman is a fucking mess and a shitty mom. No comparison to HRC at all.

Posted by Lisa Tritt | September 1, 2008 9:58 AM

Are our Children Abstaining?

I can't believe it. This is crazy. Well, better make sure the 17 & 18 years old get married because they would ruin their lives if they didn't!

GAH! Agg. Sputterrr. PHSSSst

Posted by Clearlyhere | September 1, 2008 9:58 AM

Preggogate could be awesome as all the lies open up like a dilating cervix. However, I am appalled at the stunning inability for Savage to understand that it's entirely possible for Abstinence Education to be a robust and statistically significant intervention to prevent teen pregnancies and for Bristol to still end up preggos.

It is intellectually flaccid to try to explain the behavior of groups by anecdotes about individuals.

Posted by Bob | September 1, 2008 9:58 AM

Correct, Karlheinz. This is a fake pregnance covering up for the previous real but secret one. It will no doubt end in miscarraige. And isn't it odd that the Gov went from surprise announcement/not showing AT ALL to big round tummy some time during the few weeks before the one month premature delivery?

Posted by Actual former teen | September 1, 2008 9:59 AM

I was sure that anal sex prevented pregnancy.

Guess not, eh?

Posted by patrick | September 1, 2008 9:59 AM

Bob@19-- wow are you full of shit.

The Fundie Rebumblekins get this kind of crap in place totally based on stupid anecdotes.

And evolution is 'just a theory', unlike the solid evidence supporting Creationism.

Posted by Karlheinz Arschbomber | September 1, 2008 10:02 AM

Palin's 2006 AK governor questionnaire:

Question:"Will you support funding for abstinence-until-marriage education instead of for explicit sex-education programs, school-based clinics, and the distribution of contraceptives in schools?"
Palin's response: "Yes, the explicit sex-ed programs will not find my support"

Posted by Trouble town | September 1, 2008 10:03 AM

Wait -- is the father her dad, or her brother? These people are HILLBILLIES, I tell you.

Posted by Fnarf | September 1, 2008 10:04 AM

Prick! Pssstttttt....

Another Lib balloon gets burst.

Sorry, Charlie, but only the best dirty tricks get to elect candidates.

Oh, but wait! BARJAYA is WEEPING.


Posted by John Bailo | September 1, 2008 10:04 AM

Gov. Palin is a firm supporter of American's right to bear shotguns, the right to shotgun bears, and the right to shotgun weddings.

Posted by flamingbanjo | September 1, 2008 10:07 AM

If Obama had a pregnant 17 year-old daughter, this race would be over.

Posted by demolator | September 1, 2008 10:20 AM

Conversations with Tom Wolfe, p. 140:

"The press assumed the tone of the Victorian gentlemen.

I say Victorian gentleman, because it's he who was the constant hypocrite, who insisted on public manifestations of morality that he would never insist upon privately in his own life And I think that one tends to do that in a newspaper..."

Posted by John Bailo | September 1, 2008 10:25 AM

Not that I don't believe these theories are possible or even likely, but I think it's also possible that pregnant people don't really show until they pop. I was 20 weeks before I even mentioned to people at work, and nobody had noticed. Loose clothes cover up a lot.

Posted by poltroon | September 1, 2008 10:31 AM

john bailo:

look at his awesome photoshop skills!

more hilarity on his forum @

Posted by jon Bi-low | September 1, 2008 10:36 AM

Every girl that I know from alaska is totally slutty. I grew up in a fishing town where all the alaska kids would spend their off time and dude, those girls can get knocked up just looking that them.

They're not very cute either.

Posted by catnextdoor | September 1, 2008 10:45 AM

@28: Hmmm... forcing the right-wing to live up to the rules that they all want us to play by is hypocrisy? Hardly.

Go back to fucking some goats.

Posted by demo kid | September 1, 2008 10:48 AM

So who's the father? How old is he?
Does the Governor know?
Does our aspiring little Miss "First Trollop" know?
If there was a wedding in the offing (for real) wouldn't THAT have been announced in detail by now?
Or are they scrambling all over Alaska looking for a nice looking Christian boy willing to take a fall for his country? And maybe "other considerations."

Posted by Walker Gordon | September 1, 2008 10:59 AM

I am thinking about names for the bundle of joy. Calculus, Algebra, Factorial, Derivation....

Posted by MrEdCT | September 1, 2008 11:08 AM

This gets better every day.

It's interesting how she tries to tamp down one juicy story with another juicy story. Note that this is not unlike how she tried to put the brakes on troopergate. Until she got caught.

Will tomorrow's revelations be even bigger? If McCain sticks with this crazy woman, it's going to all the wrong kind of drama nonstop.

But maybe he really wants to get Lieberman in there once Palin has to drop out -- to spend more time with her family. Oh yes, mark my words. When Palin quits the excuse is going to be to spend time with that baby she's barely noticed and her out of control daughter. Or maybe the other daughter, Jamie Lynn, is about to get knocked up too. All of a sudden it will dawn on the lying weasel that she has a litter of pups that are whimpering for mommy. You know it's true.

Or maybe McCain is tried and old and doesn't want to be President any more.

Posted by elenchos | September 1, 2008 11:22 AM

@27 "If Obama had a pregnant 17 year-old daughter, this race would be over."

There really is nothing else to be said.

Except that, no, I don't believe the latest Sarah Palin lies, either.

Posted by whatevernevermind | September 1, 2008 11:43 AM

It doesn't matter if it's LIKELY that this is all a cover up, but it's certainly POSSIBLE.

It's been weird how this has gone from my perspective.

When I first saw the family pic I saw the daughter and thought "She looks weird. Almost like she's pregnant." Then the rumor hits the internet. It sounded really well researched, more than most conspiracy theories, but I went to bed thinking there was no way anyone would look into it.

Then I get up this morning and read that the daughter is pregnant NOW, and the first thing that came to mind is "cover up".

I really do think it's possible. As they say: the cover up is usually worse than the crime.

People really need to keep digging on this.

Posted by paul in kirkland | September 1, 2008 11:49 AM

@34 How about SexEd????

Posted by catnextdoor | September 1, 2008 11:55 AM

A liberal makes a mistake and the best of it and it's still a testimony to us being "A-moral heathens" A republican daughter makes a redeemable misjudgment and she's a hero.

Put down the torches and pitch forks, lest we become the hypocrites they are.

Posted by Becca | September 1, 2008 12:04 PM

Many of the comments here are much worse than a 17 year old who either doesn't understand reproduction, or doesn't care that she's going to be a teenage mother. I expect the vapid American media will latch onto this story and make it a campaign issue somehow.

Posted by Saskboy | September 1, 2008 12:38 PM

Dang, and here I thought the Bush Twins were going to be a tough act to follow...

Posted by COMTE | September 1, 2008 1:06 PM

@22, no you are full of shit - here let me tell you an anecdote about how somebody who disagreed with me once was an idiot which, of course, means you are too because you're disagreeing with me - so, there was this time back in 1998 I was arguing in an AOL chatroom about ...

Posted by Bob | September 1, 2008 2:47 PM

The real issue here is that she is keeping the baby and not getting the abortion, which is in line with Palin's political views. As far as abstinence and sex education go, neither keep teenagers from having sex, or practicing safe sex. Lets be honest here, I don't know about the rest of the people on here but I knew all about sex, condoms, birth control, ect, by the time I was in 4th or 5th grade. And that was from my peers, the media, what have you, not from some hack sex-ed program. Sex is about personal choice and knowing all the facts does not stop people from being fuck ups.

Posted by DigDug | September 1, 2008 3:25 PM

@43 That all works if the kids don't have fundie parents filtering the media and friends.

Posted by Mike of Renton | September 1, 2008 4:26 PM

john bailo is annoying the shit out of me.
just sayin'.

Posted by nicole | September 2, 2008 9:41 AM

@45: That's because he is a troll. Annoying the shit out of people is what he loves. He does it for the lulz.

Posted by Greg | September 2, 2008 10:46 AM

before anything... I have no idea who im voting for yet...both seem like bad choices.

So you guys are bashing a 17 year old for being pregnant... shit happens, your telling me you never had sex before getting married... you either A. couldnt get laid, or B. lied.

so 2% of people might hold off till marriage... i think they are called Amish!

Get a life

Posted by Todd James | September 8, 2008 1:41 PM

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