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Thursday, September 11, 2008

“He’s Kinda Cute! I’m Going to Put His Little Tender Butt in There.”

posted by on September 11 at 17:21 PM

“You’ve heard of tuna melts, or patty melts—why not squirrel melts?”

My favorite part is obviously the soothing soundtrack.

Matt Hickey, why do you force me to watch these things?

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"You know how squirrels like nuts."


Posted by Jerod | September 11, 2008 5:37 PM

I can't bring myself to fault her for eating squirrel. Certain members of the stranger have done it too. But come on:
A) You can't pronounce pecans that way and have me take you seriously
B) That wasn't real mayo.
C) She has a nice, non-stick baking sheet and she's using her metal spatula to scrape the hell out of it. omg.

Posted by robj | September 11, 2008 5:38 PM

I wish those people would use their second safety more.

Posted by frankie skittles | September 11, 2008 5:43 PM

That squirrel was asking for it. Fuckin' fancy-pants assed rat!

Posted by squirrel master | September 11, 2008 5:48 PM

Wasn't this on Casual Fridays?

Posted by Katie B | September 11, 2008 5:52 PM

This is in TV CARNAGE's Casual Fridays! I've seen 417 times. Maybe 419...

Never gets old.

Posted by KELLY O | September 11, 2008 6:02 PM

Who the fuck poaches meat. What are they, British?

Posted by w7ngman | September 11, 2008 6:05 PM

Why not Kitty Melts?

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger | September 11, 2008 7:22 PM

Honestly, though, it looks kind of delicious.

Posted by Drew | September 11, 2008 7:54 PM

If ever you eat murdered animals, don't think you're better than these country bumpkins. At least they're honest with themselves about their rural decadence and depravity, worshiping their bloodthirsty blind idiot child god Yahweh and saluting their rebel white supremacist flag. They know they are backwards and forgotten by the forward march of history, and they are resigned to it, eating their melted pasteurized processed cheeze.

But. You want to know what the real crime is? I'll tell you what the real crime is. Educated, modern, cosmopolitan meat eaters, for fuck's sake, what is their excuse? That's the real crime, in my book people.

Posted by elenchos | September 11, 2008 9:11 PM

this was part of a secret screening of a secret film david schmader set up at conworks about 6 years ago.

Posted by adrian | September 11, 2008 9:55 PM

I prefer to get my meat as God intended it:

Shrink wrapped in plastic, on polyvinyl styrofoam trays.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | September 11, 2008 11:12 PM

As someone who has eaten squirrel I have but one thing to say ... ewwwwww.

Posted by Will in Seattle | September 11, 2008 11:42 PM


Dear Allah/Budda/Dawkins...

I didn't think this thing was for real, but there is is, Internet Archive Aug 2000 -


Posted by Sangrail | September 12, 2008 2:33 AM

I puked a little in my mouth

Posted by Ryan | September 12, 2008 7:47 AM

elenchos, you've convinced me; Im now going to eat more meat in spite of you.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | September 12, 2008 8:18 AM

@10: Whoa. Take a breath, man. Can I buy you a celery stalk?

Posted by Matt Fuckin' Hickey | September 12, 2008 10:32 AM

Holy crap, did you see how much mayo she used? Also, shredded cheese mixed in as well as melted on top. That thing should be served with a blooming onion and followed by deep fried ice cream for the instant heart attack.

Poaching the meat makes sense to me though. It seems like it would be hard to get big chunks of meat off any other way. I think you would have to grill it and then eat it like a chicken back otherwise.

Posted by Jim | September 13, 2008 1:35 AM

adrian @11: I was there too! After my pot-hangover cleared from all the over-consumption that evening, I searched out TV Carnage and bought Casual Fridays. Now, like Kelly O, I'm on about my one-millionth viewing. TV Carnage changed my life.

Posted by Bee | September 13, 2008 1:20 PM

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