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Friday, September 12, 2008

A Brand New Pony

posted by on September 12 at 15:21 PM


I don’t know from liquor licenses and leases and derelict fast-food-franchise locations. But I do know from fags and gay bars. And every invert I know is still mourning the untimely demise of Pony, the late, great, trashy gay bar/temporary instillation that occupied the old Cha Cha space on Pine Street for a few glorious months. (Pony was always supposed to be temporary; the block was coming down before the bar opened. Pony’s demise was untimely because an empty lot now stands, and has stood for months, on the spot where Pony—and Manray and Kincora’s and Bus Stop, etc.—once stood.)

Anyway, it seems to me that Seattle’s hipster inverts—young and old—enjoyed Pony not just for its, you know, “divine decadence,” but also for its ephemeral, fleeting quality, for the sense, when you walked through the doors, that Pony was too good to last, and that we had to enjoy the free air hockey and the go-go boys and the friendly, flirty, non-lifer bartenders while we could.


Walking past the shuttered KFC franchise on Capitol Hill today, it occurred to me that it would make an excellent, thoroughly trashy Pony 2. I’ve heard that this spot will never be the site of a fast-food franchise again (the building doesn’t come with the parking lot or the drive-through lane), and the building is likely to be torn down soon. It is currently for lease, according to signs in the windows, and the building is attracting new tags hourly. So… is it even possible to get a liquor license for that spot? Black out the windows, paint the awful dingy cream exterior stucco walls black, put a bar behind the counter that’s already in there, tear out the bolted-down seating… and… ta-da!

Pony 2!

It would be just as trashy and trashed as the original Pony location—but trashy in an entirely new and different way—and it would be just as fleeting and, I believe, just as legendary. Someone make it happen!

RSS icon Comments



Posted by Mr. Poe | September 12, 2008 3:29 PM

Why can't The Stranger buy it and make it their official bar? I mean, Vice owns a pub in London. Why not?

Posted by The Artist Formerly Known As Sigourney Beaver | September 12, 2008 3:31 PM

And it will flop just like Timberline II!!

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger | September 12, 2008 3:36 PM

OMG. I never went to the original Pony but would go to this one in a heartbeat, especially if they kept all the furniture. It would make BILLIONS.

If only we had a wealthy gay icon in the neighborhood who could make this happen?!

Posted by jrrrl | September 12, 2008 3:36 PM

What's an "invert"?

I already checked urban dictionary and it didn't make any sense, either.

Posted by Spalding | September 12, 2008 3:38 PM

I heard the Jack in the Box was making a triumphant return to the Hill in that spot.....

Posted by Scottie Yahtzee | September 12, 2008 3:42 PM

If this happens, the special drink of the house should be called the "Colonel's cock."

Posted by chaosbound | September 12, 2008 3:43 PM

I had heard a rumor that Jack in the Box was going to open at the old KFC spot.

Posted by sometimesposter | September 12, 2008 3:44 PM

Yeah, unfortunately I haven't got $75,000 to sink into a sleazy gay bar, so I'm gonna have to pass.

Posted by Greg | September 12, 2008 3:47 PM

Ooo! Ooo! Can we put two-way mirrors in the windows looking out to the street?
THAT would be swoony...
Can I bartend there please? I wanna flirt with the trashy ponies too...

Posted by treacle | September 12, 2008 3:54 PM

I'd rather have the Jack-in-the-Box.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | September 12, 2008 3:55 PM

I would definately go now that I'm back in Town! Set it up Pony Girls and Boys!

Posted by Andie | September 12, 2008 4:03 PM

@10 That is such a great idea. If Dan or Tim Keck make this happen they just may win president on write-ins alone. There's no way this would not be a mega-hit and profitable as well.

Imagine the election party and the weekly Slog Happies.

Posted by DanFan | September 12, 2008 4:05 PM

Four words:


Posted by COMTE | September 12, 2008 4:12 PM

@Napolean -- Did you not enjoy Pony? It was the most fun I've had in a gay bar in 15 years.

Brilliant idea, Dan.

Posted by It's Mark Mitchell | September 12, 2008 4:54 PM

When I see an open space on the Hill I think "PONY!". It will never happen but everytime I walk by the old KFC I still think "PONY!"

Posted by bradlesb | September 12, 2008 5:13 PM

ELAINE: What about ponies? What kind of abnormal animal is that? And those kids who had their own ponies..

JERRY: I know, I hated those kids. In fact, I hate anyone that ever had a pony when they were growing up.

MANYA: ..I had a pony.

(The room is dead quiet)

JERRY: ..Well, I didn't really mean a pony, per se.

MANYA: (Angry) When I was a little girl in Poland, we all had ponies. My sister had pony, my cousin had pony, ..So, what's wrong with that?

JERRY: Nothing. Nothing at all. I was just merely expressting..

HELEN: Should we have coffee? Who's having coffee?

MANYA: He was a beautiful pony! And I loved him.

Posted by Non | September 12, 2008 6:56 PM
Posted by Non | September 12, 2008 6:58 PM

It was my understanding that Pony was supposed to evoke the seedy NYC gay bars of the 90s, not the greasy KFC bars of the 2000s.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | September 12, 2008 7:19 PM

70s. Seventies.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | September 12, 2008 7:20 PM

The Jack in the Box thing fell through. It's not going in, no matter what the local blogs are saying.

Posted by Andrew | September 12, 2008 8:18 PM

Drive-thru glory holes!

Posted by danrand | September 13, 2008 9:13 AM

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