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Friday, August 22, 2008

What to Expect When You’re Aborting

posted by on August 22 at 15:25 PM

This woman—a 23-year-old who writes, “I’m 23. I’m knocked up. And I don’t want to keep it. You can fuck yourself, Judd Apatow“—has started a blog to document the process of getting an abortion. It’s smart, funny, and surprisingly informative.

I’m trying to get some advice and info that isn’t off a bulletin board style fact sheet. When I google “abortion blog” —because we all know blogs are a great repository for facts and rationality— i get these terrifying pro-life, abortion regret websites. One is called ” silent rain”. UGHHHHH.


Read it.

RSS icon Comments


I want to buy this woman a beer. Like now.

Posted by Original Monique | August 22, 2008 3:39 PM

Awesome! I hope people take this woman's advice and make a date with the womb broom.

Posted by Jason Josephes | August 22, 2008 3:39 PM

quit being such a baby about it and just go do it. geez.

Posted by sir jorge | August 22, 2008 3:41 PM

Ugh. Juno was fucking obnoxious.

Posted by w7ngman | August 22, 2008 3:44 PM

Maggie in Happy Endings is the prime example of...well, a feminist. Go gurl!

Posted by Mr. Poe | August 22, 2008 3:45 PM

what's taking so long?

maybe you want to do a Juno & give it up. someone wants your baby, highly educated snarky blogger.

Posted by max solomon | August 22, 2008 3:46 PM

Posts like this are why people despise ECB.

Even if you think abortion should be legal there's no reason to celebrate it as entertainment.

ECB is probably hoping the blog lasts until month 9. ECB is probably pretty grateful for late term abortions right about now... just means more months of "smart" and "funny" blogging.

Posted by just saying | August 22, 2008 3:50 PM

"Even if you think abortion should be legal there's no reason to celebrate it as entertainment."


Posted by Nay | August 22, 2008 3:51 PM

I wish Tumblr had comments or a contact-the-author section so that I could talk to this girl-- six months ago (almost to the day) I was in her shoes. I'd love to swap stories with her, to talk to her. I still haven't found anyone to talk to about my abortion (other than my partner, who has been amazing and supportive). I'd love to talk to someone with a vagina, someone who had an experience similar to mine... This girl sounds like the perfect candidate.

Posted by Me six months ago. | August 22, 2008 3:52 PM

Slayer has a song about abortion called Silent Scream.

Think about that tonight when you're trying to fall asleep.

Posted by Mike in MO | August 22, 2008 3:56 PM

Informative? Hardly. There's one observation that Planned Parenthood has security and searches your bag. She didn't like the doctor. And she feels sick and wants salty food.

WOW. That is just, like, SO VERY INFORMATIVE.

ECB me thinks you're just a bit too swept away in the "excitement" of someone getting an abortion.

Using the F word a lot does not make you a smart or funny writer.

Anyone else think the blog is totally lame?

Posted by except it's not | August 22, 2008 3:56 PM


Why not? I know lots of girls that had "I'm not having a baby showers" way before it was trendy on Sex in the City. People deal with it in different ways, sometimes you want to celebrate. It's like a reclaimation of sorts.

@9: You can ask Anthony for my email and I'll talk to you about it if you want (not sure if he can/will). Most women I know have had one, including me, so I guess I just got used to chatting about it.


Posted by Original Monique | August 22, 2008 4:00 PM

Was it written by...

Posted by CA-B? | August 22, 2008 4:01 PM

@7 and 8, I feel you... I found out about my pregnancy (and my failed birth control-- ORTHO TRI, HOW COULD YOU?!) at 4.5 weeks and had my abortion at 5.5 weeks, after a week of painful soul-searching with my partner. It was important to me that if I was going to terminate, it be done ASAP. While I'm obviously pro-choice, I'm also of the "if you're gonna do it, do it as early as possible in the first trimester" mindset. I agree that abortion is not something that should be celebrated or turned into entertainment, but, for that one week of soul-searching and for the weeks immediately following the procedure, it would have meant the world to have a girl like this out there, blogging about our shared experience, offering an alternative to the dry medical information websites, the abortion regret websites, the harsh and unemotional pro-abortion websites, and the terrifying anti-abortion websites. I searched, with no success, to find a blog like this-- an honest account of what it was like to find out you were pregnant, what it was like to make the decision to terminate, and what the actual abortion would be like. Six months later, I'm confident in my decision, but that doesn't mean that I'm happy about it. No regrets, but I am sad that I had to make the decision in the first place. To make sure it never happens again, I ditched the Ortho Tri and had a IUD inserted...

Posted by Me six months ago. | August 22, 2008 4:01 PM


It must be so hard to be you. Gross.

Posted by Original Monique | August 22, 2008 4:02 PM

I'm uncomfortable with any sentences that contain both "abortion" and "should". Some people are sad, unhappy, ashamed, guilty; some people aren't at all. Both are legitimate and right and to be respected. Of course, I'm just a dude.

Posted by Fnarf | August 22, 2008 4:12 PM

I always thought people like that were straw men invented by the religious right.

Posted by elenchos | August 22, 2008 4:16 PM

Slayer's band members have also most likely been the cause of many abortions and births.

I wouldn't be looking to them for advice ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | August 22, 2008 4:18 PM

I'm with 8 and 14.

Trying to make abortion 'cool' is beyond lame. If you've had an abortion and you aren't 'just super' about it, here comes the Slog to shame you for being stupid enough to not be 'totally cool' with your abortion! Way to alienate people.

I've had one. I wouldn't say I regret it, but I wonder about my choice every now and then, esp. when I see kids that would be the baby's age, or at the time of year that would have been the birthday.

And if you try to make me feel bad about those things, you just fucking suck.

I'm happy its legal and would fight to keep it that way, but I wouldn't wish an abortion or any unplanned pregnancy on anyone.
It. Isn't. Fun.

Posted by Abortions are 'in' | August 22, 2008 4:21 PM

I was thinking about something similar yesterday when I was shopping in Trader Joe's and Papa Don't Preach started playing over the speakers (it was some kind of eighties mix.) I know that song generated some controversy at the time, garnering Madonna one of her early "she's so brave!" awards from her adoring fans for broaching the subject of teen pregnancy in a pop song. And then I thought, if you change one little verb, there's no way that song could ever have been a radio hit.

The verb? "Keeping."

Posted by flamingbanjo | August 22, 2008 4:29 PM

Ugh, ECB's not celebrating abortion. She's celebrating one lone blogger making a dent in a culture that largely equates abortion with murder. Abortion needn't be a source of celebration or shame, any more so than having a mole removed, but neither should it be unfair game for documentation (even of the humorous variety).

That said, babies are a pox and good riddance.

Posted by Eric Grandy | August 22, 2008 4:44 PM

@9/14...I'm right there with you, just 2 years and 4 months past it, and rockin' a copper IUD.

@16, I totally agree with you. It took me a while to not feel bad about the fact that I felt relieved when I'd finally decided that I would terminate.

Thankfully my partner found a wonderful clinic, and the nurse encouraged my feelings, by telling me that "a woman's body knows what is right for her. So the relief you felt, was likely your body telling you that you'd made the right decision".

If I could email the author of that page, I would like to make sure that she was told that sometimes the pills don't work, and aside from the nausea, vomiting, cramping and bleeding they cause, you may wind up having a surgical abortion in the end anyway.

Posted by Schnoodle | August 22, 2008 4:45 PM

I think it's a positive sign that she puts this out there, and though I understand why there's no interaction allowed on the blog, I wish there was a way to give her information/support. I never blogged about mine because...well...I got horribly sick from the surgery for about three months.

Posted by Kat | August 22, 2008 4:57 PM

@7, 8, 14
People blog because they're upset, not just for entertainment. She isn't "celebrating" her abortion, she's just trying to deal.

Posted by Piwacket | August 22, 2008 5:02 PM


No, the blogger is making light of it, and possibly trying to generate some attention.

#'s 7, 8 and 14 are the ones trying to deal.

Posted by whatevs | August 22, 2008 5:34 PM

On the off chance that the blogger or someone else who is facing an abortion is reading this: I had an abortion when I was young and 25 years later know it was absolutely the right decision. I have no regrets or concerns whatsoever about it, no long term guilt, etc.

I also had a kid later, and it was absolutely the right decision at that time, and it's wonderful When I was pregnant an online "Due Date Club" was my lifesaver, as hearing about what other women were going through saved my sanity. An abortion blog could provide the same relief for someone who is scared and alone.

Also, every time I give a urine sample (during my term pregnancy, about a dozen times) I pee all over my hand, so don't beat yourself up over that.

Posted by donna | August 22, 2008 8:15 PM

What the fuck does Judd Apatow have to do with it? "Knocked Up" wasn't anti-abortion. It just told a story about a woman who decided to keep her baby. Pro-CHOICE, get it?

Posted by WTF | August 23, 2008 12:28 AM

Wow, a lot of you missed the point of this blog. If you'd actually read it, you'd know this girl tried to find a blog or someone else's personal experience with abortion that she could read about. Instead, all she found was a lot of "pro-life," anti-woman propaganda, so she decided to do something about it. Entertainment? Hardly. For all the millions of useless blogs out there, you're picking on this one?

@27 Agreed. I never understood people hating on Knocked Up, since the character did make her own choice, after all. Besides, if she got an abortion, the movie would have only been like 45 minutes long. Though the fact that they completely shied away from using the word "abortion" was a bit juvenile.

Posted by T | August 25, 2008 11:18 AM

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