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Tuesday, August 19, 2008

News From The Animal Kingdom

posted by on August 19 at 12:40 PM

A consequence of cultural pollution:

A wild dolphin is apparently teaching other members of her group to walk on their tails, a behaviour usually seen only after training in captivity.

The tail-walking group lives along the south Australian coast near Adelaide.

One of them spent a short time after illness in a dolphinarium 20 years ago and may have picked up the trick there.

What’s sadder than a dolphin walking on water? You guessed it:

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Posted by gmoney | August 19, 2008 12:57 PM

You know, Charles, this obsession for foreheads has taken you to new lows. It's all rather supercilious. Or is it, superciliary...

Posted by Ziggity | August 19, 2008 1:00 PM

It is now only a matter of time before their tails morph into legs.

I for one welcome our dolphin overlords! ;)

Posted by | August 19, 2008 1:00 PM

You are always boring.

Posted by Dated. | August 19, 2008 1:05 PM

Damn, the dolphins are getting ready to come back on land and this time they're walking upright.

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger | August 19, 2008 1:19 PM

And how do you know that the dolphins don't think it's fun? Why is it sad? Does Jeebus count as having big juju? Can he take out Mugabe?

Posted by Charles_Mudede_Is_A_Latent_Racist | August 19, 2008 1:23 PM

@3 Dolphin overlords? Ha, lets see what happens when those finned freaks with blow holes try to come and beat us, actually scientists in Florida already know

Posted by Little Red Ryan Hood | August 19, 2008 1:34 PM

Just a question ...

How do we know Jesus didn't come back as a dolphin to save them?

Posted by Will in Seattle | August 19, 2008 1:42 PM

My guess is these dolphins are doomed:

"Hey, I know how to get fish! Get out of the water'n scoot on your tail. That always got me fish!"

"OK, we're doin' it. Where're the fish?"

"Oh, the people in the wetsuits'll give 'em to you."

"Um ... what people in wetsuits?"

"Oh. Crap. Start hunting!"

Posted by ben | August 19, 2008 1:52 PM

So long and thanks for all the wine and fishes?

Posted by NapoleonXIV | August 19, 2008 1:55 PM

Charles: An example of collective action, no?

Posted by eric sic | August 19, 2008 2:11 PM

Have you ever asked yourself, how can dolphins participate in a mass if the bread gets wet? And try swallowing the wine ... you spill it, it stinks up the whole place ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | August 19, 2008 2:18 PM

A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship.

Posted by flipper | August 19, 2008 2:59 PM

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