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Oh, my GOD I know these Texas ladies. She's carefully sculpted to look pretty good from a mile away but the closer you get the more TRASH you see. Up close she looks like a piece of KFC fried chicken. She's like something out of a John Waters movie, only with better dental work.

Posted by Fnarf | August 7, 2008 10:42 AM

heehee...she's got 'roids...heeheehee.

(I'm 12 btw)

Posted by Mike in MO | August 7, 2008 10:46 AM

she got piles from being elbowed in her left breast?

trust me, that's NOT why you get piles.

Posted by max solomon | August 7, 2008 10:52 AM

The 'roids are God's punishment for affronting one of his all-star pitchwomen with a stained seat. The Osteens rake in millions for Christ every year, certainly they deserve only the most immaculate first-class accommodations. Hemorrhoids are the new Plague of Locusts.

Posted by Hernandez | August 7, 2008 10:53 AM

The most interesting thing about Osteen is that when you read interviews with him, he comes across like a very sharp CEO. (Stick with written interviews, not video, lest you be blinded by his teeth.) He's got a nifty self-help business going, with a tax exemption!

When I mentioned this to a Houston blogger who belongs to his church, the response was, "Yeah, but they do good things." Like what? What's the dollar value? "Um... well, they don't take the parsonage exemption on the property taxes for their house that they're entitled to!"

The parsonage is a McEstate in an affluent Houston suburb.


But if you are ever here in the Bayou City take a drive past the church (a fomer basketball arena). Our town has more than it's share of crazy ostentatious buildings, but none will provoke a "Holy fucking shit!" quite like passing Lakewood does. (Or just "shit!" if you're trying to get to a movie at the theater up the street while people are arriving for services; I've never seen so many Harris County sheriff department officers in one place at a time. Apparently Christians aren't just saved, they have trouble driving, too.)

Love the Slog, despite not living in Seattle.

Posted by John | August 7, 2008 11:12 AM

Now you see why I created pirates.

Posted by Flying Spagetti Monster | August 7, 2008 11:24 AM

@ 5: Yeah, we got one of those here in The Lou. Joyce Myers. I hate the rich fucking cunt.

Posted by Mike in MO | August 7, 2008 11:37 AM

That's what I envision the Antichrist looking like.

Posted by Emily | August 7, 2008 12:14 PM

Maintaining a perpetual expression of happy surprise almost always leads to unpredictable outbursts of rage.

Posted by inkweary | August 7, 2008 12:34 PM

I was under the assumption the airlines charged for everything including hemorrhoids, so shouldn't the flight attendant have to pay for them as well?

Posted by I believe I can fly | August 7, 2008 1:11 PM

OMG, Kiley, I just got the R.E.M./air-rage/evangelist reference...

perfect. perfect

Posted by CommonKnowledge | August 7, 2008 4:35 PM

at least Peter Buck was drunk during his incident... and oh, he is talented, too.

Posted by CommonKnowledge | August 7, 2008 4:38 PM

None of you have actually met her, or been to Lakewood so how dare you pass judgement.

That dumbass flight attendant prob just tried to take advantage of her because she is a celebrity.

Posted by lisette | August 8, 2008 12:03 AM

None of you have actually met her, or been to Lakewood so how dare you pass judgement.

That dumbass flight attendant prob just tried to take advantage of her because she is a celebrity.

Posted by lisette | August 8, 2008 12:04 AM

It is truly sad. You people that come out degrading Ms. Osteen, who did nothing wrong, you curse her and belittle her. They help with mission work and many Christian assorted events. They got water to New Orleans before FEMA. But no, you would rather defend a woman who is a liar and deceiver. Just ask the co-worker who she attempted to sue just a few years ago over the same issue. God Bless you that hate us Christians so much. I am sorry that you hate us but if you will just take a moment and read about Jesus and the wonderful things HE has done, especially dying on the cross, maybe you will change your mind. I know that through Narcotics Anonymous I found Christ as my higher power and have never been happier. By the way, I am not a "kool aid" drinking christian. I have a Masters in Economics and used my education to find out how true and wonderful my savior is. HE can be yours to. Just ask HIM to forgive you of your sins, and invite HIM into your life, you won't regret it.

Posted by Phillip | August 14, 2008 8:18 PM

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