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Thursday, August 7, 2008

Letter of the Day

posted by on August 7 at 11:04 AM

Oh, we get letters. This is going to be a long one, so get your scrolling fingers ready and prepare your bitchy comments about why I didn’t put this after the jump. Everything below is (sic), but emphasis is mine:

Thursday, August 7, 2008 Dear Ms Wagner/Mr. Savage:

We read with great interest this recent film nutice in your aptly named publication The Stranger, insofar as The Stranger is a greater degree of The Strange. We define “nutice” as a message alerting us to any nuts possibly being involved in a given event, either by its content or its drafting:

THE REFLECTING POOL A group of 9/11 conspiracy nuts presents this “investigative drama” about a reporter. It’ s heartening to see 9/11 “Truth” movement (sic) is finally giving up on the inconveniently truth-oriented documentary format. Screened with A Tribute to Fresh Kills, a seven-minute “poetry video” about 9/11. Trinity United Methodist Church Gymnasium, Fri. August 8 at 7 PM.

Although we are not amused that you even posted this nutice, we are presently acting as hiring consultants for the Bush White House and Hannity & Combs, as well as The O’Reilly Report on Faux News.

We are looking for hotshot twenty- and thirty-somethings with advanced degrees and/or experience in the new field of jeernalism, which reflects the new unprofessional standards which we in thecorporate community heartily applaud, and from which we manifestoly benefit. We define jeernalism as the current corporate media practice of substituting the reporting of boring information with ill-informed opinion repeatedly, crudely and incivilly expressed without proper investigation or proofreading, of which the above-cited nutice is a nutable example.

We would therefore appreciate your providing us with contact information of the above-cited author and editor, so that we might cite them as well. We would like to thank you in advance for this unprofessional courtesy.

We would also like to point out in a hopefully helpful way that, with the above-cited nutice, you have left yourself open not only to lawsuits for slander, but worse, to someone pointing out the obvious: that just as you have urged the 9/11 Truth movement to revert to just portraying fiction, you as an alleged alternative newspaper might be urged to revert to just reporting fact.

Yours all too truly,

Prisis Wright-CEO

I don’t have much to offer by way of analysis except to say that I gave 9/11 Truth groups more of a chance to impress me than just about anybody in the mainstream media. After the piece came out (and was reprinted in the UTNE Reader), people bashed me left and right for being too easy on Truth groups, but I felt that the point in my article—that they developed a huge political organization out of virtually nothing in just a few years—was pertinent. They could have been a major force in the 2008 election, and instead they put all their money toward buying a fucking blimp for Ron Paul.

I’m fucking done with 9/11 Truth groups and their stupid misspelled e-mails and their dumb “confrontation” videos. I’ve read your books and seen your movies and you have fuck-all. Hundreds of people have written rational, compassionate arguments against your stupid theories (hell, get Jonathan Golob drunk and ask him about Building 7 and he’ll go on a tear that’s alternately hilarious and enlightening) and you don’t buy any of it because you’re not about reason, you’re about being the heroes of the stupid fucking conspiracy movies in your fucking heads. Talk to me when you come back to reality and we can get some shit done. I won’t hold my breath waiting for that to happen.

RSS icon Comments


Yay! I'm glad to see the conspiracy nutters didn't pull you in with their convenient confirmation bias and outright lying. If only we could get everyone back to rational thinking...

Posted by Sean | August 7, 2008 11:13 AM

180 days and a wakeup, and we can finally ignore them all, since we'll have a real President.

Posted by Will in Seattle | August 7, 2008 11:19 AM

"(hell, get Jonathan Golob drunk and ask him about Building 7 and he'll go on a tear that's alternately hilarious and enlightening)"

This really needs to be the subject of a Stranger Video.

Posted by Cow | August 7, 2008 11:24 AM

My, aren't we touchy today?

Posted by Mike in MO | August 7, 2008 11:34 AM

Guy's name is "Prisis". You don't even need to read the letter.

Posted by Fnarf | August 7, 2008 11:34 AM

I'm sure you get this all the time Paul, but that piece was absolutely aces.

Posted by kid icarus | August 7, 2008 11:46 AM

While I know that your reference to building 7 isn't about Microsoft's legendary building 7, it is funny nonetheless in that context.

Posted by PopTart | August 7, 2008 11:47 AM

Oh, hell yes. NICE.


Posted by violet_dagrinder | August 7, 2008 12:27 PM

People that use so many puns should be prohibited from communicating with humans..

Posted by gillsans | August 7, 2008 12:29 PM

That ain't nuthin'. Ms. Wright apparently has made a career out of sending incomprehensible punning letters to media. See . Such a comedian.

Posted by Fnarf | August 7, 2008 12:55 PM

All Truthers should be removed from the gene pool.

Posted by K X One | August 7, 2008 1:06 PM

did anyone else have a tough time following that letter? i feel like it made me stupider...sorry, less intelligent.

Posted by douglas | August 7, 2008 1:11 PM

This letter is great. I love the truthers. What's awesome is I work in Pioneer Square and there's a troupe of them walking around today hanging out fliers. They're so cute! Part of me hopes it comes out they were right, just because it'd be fun to watch all their heads collectively assplode.

Posted by Matt Fuckin' Hickey | August 7, 2008 2:20 PM

Really, I just wanna get Jonathan Golob drunk and talk about anything.

Posted by Gitai | August 7, 2008 3:28 PM

Dude, ask him about boxcars with shackles, the Freemasons, and Denver International Airport. There are whole rich veins of crazy you have not even mined yet.

Posted by Greg | August 7, 2008 5:06 PM

Don't you guys feel even a bit queasy about using your wit to defend the dumbnuts official theory of 9-11 that hardly anyone buys any more?

Posted by Ben | August 7, 2008 5:50 PM

Great. So our choices are between the official version and the truthers version? Your black and white world sucks.

Posted by K X One | August 8, 2008 3:42 AM

The Looniest Of All 911 Conspiracy Theories
The 9/11 'Official Story'?

Posted by slippery | August 9, 2008 12:24 AM

Drowning in The Reflecting Pool

Posted by slippery | August 9, 2008 12:42 AM

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