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Thursday, August 21, 2008

I Just Saved Your Relationship, Boys

posted by on August 21 at 11:55 AM

mammastill.jpgLast night, I went to The Big Picture for the first time. I was there to see Mamma Mia! As much as I enjoy Lindy West’s review of Mamma Mia!:

Mamma Mia! is pure entertainment. Sparkling and earnest, hammy beyond all acceptable boundaries of ham, full of slow-motion leaping and young love—it’s the movie equivalent of, well, ABBA. The cast rules: Meryl Streep is adorable; Pierce Brosnan sings (TERRIBLY) and stands on a cliff looking windswept in front of an Aegean sunset. Mamma Mia! entertained the shit out of me.

I do have to say that she neglected to mention something: If you are a heterosexual man, you will find the movie embarrassing to watch. And I say this as a heterosexual man who unabashedly loves movie musicals. Luckily, here’s where the Big Picture, with its lush bar lined with bottles of welcoming booze, comes in to save the day.

At the beginning of the movie, I was wincing every half-minute or so, as every single character, regardless of age or gender, seemed to be channeling a 13-year-old Japanese girl on speed. The middle-aged women in the audience ate it up, a-hootin’ and a-hollerin’ every time somebody’s hips swiveled—the movie might as well have been directed by a pint of pure estrogen.

But by the time I got to my second beer, I had stopped wincing. It was enjoyable. And the third beer made the whole thing a hee-larious laugh riot. For a moment, when I drank too much too fast, I actually thought that Pierce Brosnan was a decent singer. I expect that if I was drinking a comparable amount of whiskey instead of beer, I probably would have wept at the sheer glory of love and life and song. People who are allergic to this kind of giddy overacting, but who have significant others who desperately want to see the movie, should totally see Mamma Mia! at the Big Picture, preferably under the influence of a liter of some sort of brown liquid, possibly on ice.

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This is why the second half of Juno remains a fuzzy memory to me.

Posted by Ziggity | August 21, 2008 11:57 AM

They're releasing it as a sing-along version soon. I am way more excited than I should be.

If they manage to show that where there can be booze...this may be the greatest movie event of the year.

Posted by Abby | August 21, 2008 11:59 AM

paul constant is straight?

Posted by max solomon | August 21, 2008 11:59 AM

You didn't quite go the extra step of realizing that life being a gay man or woman who loves musicals is like being happy-drunk all the time.

Posted by Simac | August 21, 2008 12:06 PM

Can't be anymore embarrassing than watching Across the Universe. I mean, fuck.

Posted by Mr. Poe | August 21, 2008 12:08 PM

Things that should be banned from Slog:

+ The use of: "You have a print edition?"
+ The use of: "______ is straight" or "______ is gay?"
+ The use of: "Slow news day?" on any post that wasn't posted by ECB

Posted by Mr. Poe | August 21, 2008 12:16 PM

I don't know, I liked Juno.

Posted by Will in Seattle | August 21, 2008 12:18 PM

@5: Ew, you watched that? I mean, come on. The trailer told you all you needed to know to avoid it.

Posted by Gloria | August 21, 2008 12:28 PM

@7: So did I, actually. But I guess the novelty of a theater with a bar overshadowed my brain's ability to retain anything while swimming.

Posted by Ziggity | August 21, 2008 12:28 PM


I own it. It's a guilty pleasure. Like Cruel Intentions and My Dog Skip.

Posted by Mr. Poe | August 21, 2008 12:37 PM

Mr. Poe has a print edition? Must be a slow gay news day.

Posted by Gurldoggie | August 21, 2008 12:55 PM

Hey Gurldoggie! Tell me, does the array of "0 Comments" on your blog ever bother you?

Posted by Mr. Poe | August 21, 2008 1:00 PM

@8: C'mon, lighten up. Across the Universe was good, if you knew you were getting. How can a movie with Bono singing "I am the Walrus" be bad? It can't. QED.

Posted by Greg | August 21, 2008 1:10 PM

Nah. I just look at your Myspace page and realize things could always be worse.

Posted by Gurldoggie | August 21, 2008 1:11 PM

1)Mamma Mia is dreadful...and ENORMOUSLY entertaining and I wasn't even drunk.
2)Across the Universe is DREADFUL; one of a handful of films I wanted to walk out of.
But I stayed, because the music is sublime and the performers were (mostly) adorable.
Julie Taymor should be shot.
3)Juno is beyond dreadful. Great actors trapped by that gawdamned, "Isn't it precious" script. Diablo Cody should be shot. Also, the director guy, whatshisface.
4)My "Guilty Pleasure" movie is Center Stage, that extremely silly ballet movie/rip-off of Fame. Also, anything with Harry Reems in it.

Posted by michael strangeways | August 21, 2008 1:22 PM

I agree about the bar, provided they have some nice draft cider. You know, the 7 to 8 percent kind.

Across the Universe rocked! Especially when viewed while drinking Absinthe.

Posted by Will in Seattle | August 21, 2008 1:23 PM

You look at my MySpace? That's kind of weird.

Posted by Mr. Poe | August 21, 2008 1:29 PM

@13: I knew. I just didn't *like* what I was getting.

Posted by Gloria | August 21, 2008 1:35 PM


She's OBSESSED with you!

Posted by datruth | August 21, 2008 1:36 PM

Everybody is obsessed with Mr. Poe.

Posted by Fnarf | August 21, 2008 2:25 PM

well, DUH!

That's what MySpace is for...

I miss your "Dancing Hitler" avatar, was precious.

Posted by michael strangeways | August 21, 2008 2:42 PM

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