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Oh, sure, Bethany. You've got the physique of a supermodel so it's easy enough for you to flog chicken fried steak!

Me? Hell, just looking at those damn photos means another 45 minutes on the elliptical tonight.

Thanks a hell of a lot.

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | August 26, 2008 4:20 PM

like good BBQ, the quest for delicious CFS on the West Coast is a Quivirian task...

Posted by michael strangeways | August 26, 2008 4:21 PM

Cyndy's? Really? Brown gravy on CFS? You know nothing, shut the fuck up.

Posted by Dylan! | August 26, 2008 4:32 PM

I am a meat-eating motherfucker but chicken-fried steak is vile!

Posted by elswinger | August 26, 2008 4:33 PM

I work at a breakfast place and if I see another CFS I think my arteries will explode.

Posted by modern day flapper | August 26, 2008 4:41 PM

BROWN GRAVY!?!?!? WTF?!?!?

That's more disgusting than shitting in the bathtub...CFS does NOT have brown gravy.

And that overly white shit that looks like paste is not authentic either.

Posted by michael strangeways | August 26, 2008 4:42 PM

I'll tell you about the worst CFS in the city. It's at Metropolitan Grill downtown. Fucking weird, right?

It's a rather high-end steakhouse, so you'd think they'd have, like, gourmet CFS, and you'd be right: their CFS is made from fancy imported Brazilian beef coated not with breadcrumbs but smashed up Tim's Cascade Jalapeno Chips, and who doesn't love those? It's fried in some not-going-to-kill-you-today oil and served with garlic homefries, 7-grain toast with whipped butter, and two poached eggs.

It sounds lovely, doesn't it?

It was what I imagine eating a 6-day old corpse to stay alive after a plane crash in the Cascades would be like.

With the first bite the entire promising outside of crushed Tim's chips slid off like some sort of limp-yet-crunchy Jalepeno condom. What was left looked like a piece of leather doused in slime from the set of Ghostbusters 2.

The gravy had a fine texture but had the taste that one of your grandma's orthopedic shoes might right before it gets replaced with a newer model. It was like licking the back floor of a taxi in the U-District.

The rest of the meal was pretty good, but somehow a steakhouse I'd always wanted to eat had fucked up chicken fried steak. And it cost over $40.

I've never gone back there again and I won't.

Posted by Matt Fuckin' Hickey | August 26, 2008 5:07 PM

Isn't a CFS with brown gravy just called country steak? I believe it is a cousin of the CFS.

And why can't I have this job? Are you hiring?

Posted by someguy | August 26, 2008 5:08 PM

The best chicken fried steak in town is at the Austin Cantina. Period. Eat there or I will mock you as the coward you are.

Posted by theguy | August 26, 2008 5:15 PM

I'd rather have a pack of Southern bubbas with chicken fried crumbs and gravy on their lips backing me up in a barfight than a bunch of Seattle Jonathans with sushi crumbs on their weak chins. America wasn't won by vegetarians.

Posted by Bob | August 26, 2008 5:24 PM

Milanesa (thin round stake fried in a breadcrumb batter - i.e. latino chicken fried steak) is especially yummy wrapped up in a tasty Cemita - a torta made from Milanesa, onions, avocado and salsa.
One need not eat an obscene amount of a meat and grease to enjoy meat. America was not built by gluttons.

Posted by kinaidos | August 26, 2008 5:35 PM

Oh, Bob! You spoke again of your mighty barfights. *swoon*

Your manliness has set my computer all aflutter! I love it when you do that. Can you post again? Something about guns? Or bikers? Or just something about the huge hunk of maleness that is Bob. Anything will do.

Posted by elenchos | August 26, 2008 5:55 PM

America wasn't won in barfights, either, Bob. But you sure seem to get in a lot of them, or do you just think about them all the time? Either way, that's kind of fucked up.

If you read the article you will discover that Cyndy's offers five different kinds of gravy to satisfy all possible tastes.

Posted by Fnarf | August 26, 2008 5:57 PM

Some of the best CFS I've had in Seattle can be found at the Silver Fork in the Rainier Valley. I love that place!

Posted by Deacon Seattle | August 26, 2008 6:00 PM

Farfn, the bar fight is simply a sub-literary device to compare and contrast cultural elements of Pugestupia with the normal world.

Plus, it's fun to watch a few of you guys and gals (see, for example: Elenchos) snap at it nearly every time I post one.

I'm guessing more than a few of you possess a somewhat insecure and meager appraisal of your abilities in an actual barfight. Anyhow, the problem with barfighting these days is all the fuckers carrying.

Posted by Bob | August 26, 2008 6:10 PM

Bob, I'm trying to acknowledge your status as a genuine tough guy. I can tell you're the real thing because real tough guys post comments about it on blogs. Lots of guys would like to talk bout their fighting and such on a blog, but they're too scared. But not Bob. Bob ain't afraid to brag on the Internet.

I'm saying how much I admire that. And I'm pretty sure I've caught every one of your Internet Tough Guy posts. If I missed any, can you point them out? I have a collection. A beautiful collection of Bob the Internet Tough Guy, extolling his own manly virtues. It's quite something.

Posted by elenchos | August 26, 2008 6:19 PM

@9, will try Austin C. on that.

Best CFS Seattle story of all time:

Over ten years ago, I and my sweetie swung into Luna Park at the West Seattle foot of the bridge. It was and remains a reliable hipster-retro diner, so I was *THRILLED* to note CFS on the menu. I ordered with glee.

Imagine my puzzlement when the item brought to me appeared to be MUCH larger than the usual pounded-and-suspect deep-fried base. Instead of a quarter-inch thick, it was nearly a full inch in height, but otherwise appeared more-or-less right - breaded, fried, gravy'd.

Cutting into it my eyes grew wide. For reasons that will forever remain unknown, the cook had chosen to bread and fry an inch-thick sirloin steak. I inhaled the mutant at speed, debating whether I should ask if this was the normal way that the CFS was prepared at Luna Park.

In the end I did ask, and no one working seemed to think it was either strange or anything other than normal practice. Since then, I have had the Luna Park CFS on numerous occasions, and it is NEVER prepared in the manner I experienced it on that one glorious day.

Of course, I have rarely been able to order anything else at Luna Park since, due to the random positive reinforcement effect. I invite you to join me!

Posted by mike | August 26, 2008 6:56 PM

Fnarf, Cyndy's may have multiple styles of gravy, but I wasn't expecting to have to specify when I ordered. Brown gravy is not the normal way to do CFS. When I mentioned it to the waitress, she said "Oh, yeah, that's our thing"...really? A restaurant should warn a customer if they have a "thing" they do with an American classic.

Posted by Dylan! | August 26, 2008 7:31 PM

Chicken fried steak, Wienerschnitzel, pork tenderloin -- they're all good.

Posted by flour egg breadcrumbs grease | August 26, 2008 11:40 PM

Sorry, you all are missing out. Every time I'm back in Seattle I make time for a CFS from Vera's, in Ballard. My goodness that is some fine CFS, and served with the right kind of gravy.

Posted by alan | August 27, 2008 1:57 AM

Does chicken-fried steak exist in Canada, even in its weakest form? I didn't know it was real until I was smack in the middle on Texas on a school trip.

Posted by Gloria | August 27, 2008 7:42 AM

I'm glad she included Julia's on the list cuz that is my fave CFS joint in Seattle thus far. Just to emphasize, their CFS is the jam! They double batter it so it's super crispy and it's well seasoned. Mmmmmm.....

Posted by Russell | August 27, 2008 10:31 AM

I heart Joan Hiller. Yep!

Posted by KELLY O | August 27, 2008 11:26 AM

I HEART KELLY O! And, dudes, thanks all for writing in. For reals. AND, do not diss on the brown gravy, yo! It's delicious. You know why? BECAUSE IT IS GRAVY. xoxoxoxo

Posted by joan hiller | August 27, 2008 2:18 PM

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