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Thursday, July 3, 2008

You Know You’re In Trouble When…

posted by on July 3 at 12:28 PM

…the Church of Satan feels the need to distance itself from you.

The criminal accusations upset leaders of the Church of Satan, founded in San Francisco in 1966. A church representative Wednesday distanced the group from the accused….

The details involve dog cages, handcuffs, alleged sexual assaults, and Democratic party officials in Durham County, North Carolina. It’s a good read.

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I don't know much about the Church of Satan, but the Satanic Bible isn't that bad. Mostly it's a lot of new-age philosophy dressed up in Satanic window-dressing to make your parents' heads explode.

Posted by Greg | July 3, 2008 12:40 PM

If this is what a Democratic Party County Official does in her spare time I can't even imagine what Democratic Party Presidential Nominee Barack "Hussein" Osa- Obama does on his days off!

Oooh thoes Democratic Party Homosexual Jew Terrorist Satan worshipers just twist my titties!

Posted by karst | July 3, 2008 12:56 PM

Religion...blech! All of them!

Posted by Vince | July 3, 2008 1:10 PM

It's not that it's a Democratic Party official.

It's that it's one of the rare Satan/dog/sex scandals not involving Republican Party officials.

Want Satan? His son's in the White House right now.

Posted by Will in Seattle | July 3, 2008 1:12 PM

This is amazing. There is no foundation for the majority of this article. The only facts that seem clear are that the woman has been charged for her participation in what sounds like an initially consensual s&m game.

The graphic details of the dog cage, the digs at the Dems, the unfounded allegations of satanism, irrelevant mention of reiki, shamanism, unmowed lawns, telephone answering habits, and even the involvement of a San Franciso religious organization that has absolutely nothing to do with the case go beyond grossly irresponsible journalism to outright character assasination.

Anne Blythe reminds me of that reporter who was so obsessed with illegal dildos that she video'd herself handling them and then broadcast it on the evening news.

Posted by blank12357 | July 3, 2008 2:24 PM

Mention of a dog cage,Satan and no SAVAGE reference to a pit bull named Cerberus? Color me confused.

Posted by Shocked | July 3, 2008 3:01 PM

There is no such thing as an "Atheistic religion". Atheism is the LACK of religion and belief in god(s) or goddess(es). I should know. Not only am I one, but so were my parents, grandparents, and great grand parents.

Posted by yucca flower | July 3, 2008 5:35 PM

A spokesperson for Satan issued a statement that Satan wished to distance himself from the Church of Satan, and that statements by the Church of Satan did not necessarily reflect the opinions of Satan.

Posted by MichaelPgh | July 3, 2008 5:38 PM

Though I've got to say the the nine satanic sins of stupidity, pretentiousness, solipsism, self-deceit, herd conformity, lack of perspective, forgetfulness of past orthodoxies, counterproductive pride and lack of aesthetics do make Devil Worship seem a great deal more attractive than the Judeo Christians.

Posted by yucca flower | July 3, 2008 5:40 PM

A note from your mole in NC:

a) Durham is a spot o' blue in this Red State, but in general, 'round heer, it doesn't take much for folks to recoil, point at something,and deem it SAY-tuhn!!!

b) And yes, for many folks 'round heer, reiki massage --> Unitarian Universalism --> not mowing your lawn --> Satantic S&M butt rape!

Really. There are folks here who would lose their shit upon learning of Reiki and its having a new age angle. And inform you along the lines of, you're going to get butt raped by Satan worshippers if you don't change your ways, and believe in Jebus, and come to ou nice church and meet our youth pastor.

Speaking of consensual smacking around, getting hit in the head with somebody's palm is okay, around here, as long as they're casting out demons. And note, none of these city slicker libs were man enough to handle rattlesnakes.

And Dan already covered the nonconsensual S&M story here from a few weeks back, boy tied to tree as punishment by parents, boy dies. No safe word, no reacharound.

Posted by CP | July 3, 2008 6:38 PM

All that aside, I really enjoyed this:

"A church Web site lists the nine satanic sins as ...pretentiousness,..."


"Essentially we're an atheistic religion that uses Satan as a metaphor ... in the Miltonian sense," Magistra Ygraine Mitchell, an administrator in the church, said."

Posted by moogfan | July 4, 2008 10:55 AM

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