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Monday, July 14, 2008

Who Would Jesus Flog? (Himself.)

posted by on July 14 at 14:05 PM

I’d love to be a fly on the wall at the meetings where evangelicals try to figure out how they’re going to condemn BDSM. Not just to watch prudish ideologues squirm while they contemplate The Horror of Sexual Deviance, but also to watch their intellectual contortions as they leaf through their Bibles, trying to figure out what it has to say about kink. There just aren’t any theological grounds against people tying each other up, calling each other names, and pissing on each other’s heads.

They know it doesn’t seem very Christian, but they don’t know why.

So when British evangelicals (of Christian Action Research and Education) try to make hay out of Max Mosley’s “sadomasochism party” and say they condemn BDSM because it creates “unconstructive” relationships based on “the dominion of one person over another”—well, that’s just comedy.

Because Christians, with all their Biblical injunctions about wives being submissive to husbands—I’m looking at you, Mars Hill—can’t stand the idea of a relationship based on domination.

Nor can they stomach people fetishizing protracted scenes of suffering and humiliation.


Nope. They don’t like that stuff one bit.

(See the full story—in which the BBC tries to explain BDSM to the grannies of Great Britain—here).

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I'm so glad that article made it to Slog. Talk about credulous hackery:

"a News of the World video...has revealed a more tender face of the supposedly dark sadomasochistic lifestyle."

"Nobody knows how many people are involved in the 'scene'"

I'd expect this kind of wide-eyed sensationalism from the USA Today, but BBC? really?

Posted by dbell | July 14, 2008 2:22 PM

There are of course a few Christian websites exploring and supporting BDSM relationships. So perhaps the Christians would want to start looking within their own house, before advocating for or against someone else's consensual choices.

Posted by treacle | July 14, 2008 2:30 PM

I must say they picked the perfect picture. An oddly dressed femdom, having her stilettos kissed by an old portly bald man is pretty much the archetype of BDSM

Posted by Giffy | July 14, 2008 2:37 PM

Actually only Roman oppressors would flog Jesus ...

or maybe Homeland Insecurity at GITMO.

Posted by Will in Seattle | July 14, 2008 2:44 PM

What about those Spanish pilgrims who wear hair shirts and whip themselves as they march barefoot towards their shrine? That seems pretty kinky to me.

Posted by Fnarf | July 14, 2008 2:53 PM

Thats nice. Cant we just use this space to make fun of Mars Hill some more?

Posted by hello? | July 14, 2008 3:06 PM

Most intentionally amusing article on Slog in weeks.

Posted by Emily | July 14, 2008 3:18 PM


That's more the type of BDSM that doesn't make people barf.

Posted by keshmeshi | July 14, 2008 3:20 PM

They don't know why? Howzabout, orgasms are involved? And those dangerous, icky things are only to be experienced in a certain, defined situation? Just ask them, they'll tell you how to live your life.

Man, years too late, I just thought of this joke as soon as I saw that "Passion" screencap. A great pratical joke would be to have your kid, in the theater, stage whisper to you, "Daddy, why doesn't Jesus tell them the safe word?"

And of course,
Coordinator: Crucifixion?
Prisoner: Yes.
Coordinator: Good. Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each.

Posted by CP | July 14, 2008 7:44 PM

"Christians" just can't bear to see people enjoy sex. They are so miserable that they seethe with jealousy at the thought that anyone should love their sex lives. You had better feel guilty like their sick religion/minds want you to.

Posted by Vince | July 15, 2008 7:28 AM

Damn, the comments on the story are bizarre. One of my favourite websites has a take on this, mocking the utter insanity of the hordes who say things like 'The BBC is Satanic':

Posted by fluffyyBunny | July 15, 2008 7:56 AM

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