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Monday, July 21, 2008

Where Everyone Has Gone Before

posted by on July 21 at 16:05 PM

This week’s Entertainment Weekly provided the first look at the new J.J. Abrams Star Trek movie poster:


SF Signal doesn’t like it because it has Uhura on it and not McCoy. Of course, SF Signal is run by a bunch of nerds. As for myself, I’m hoping that the come-here-and-I’ll-either-kick-your-ass-or-fuck-you look on Chris Pine’s Kirk, in the lower right hand corner, is an early sign that there’ll be a whole lot of sex with aliens and fistfights in the new movie, because Kirk is always the best, and frequently the only, reason to watch Star Trek.

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I'll take your word about the guys, but that's one fine Communications Officer!

Posted by Will in Seattle | July 21, 2008 4:09 PM

I can't help but be a little excited.

And why shouldn't Uhuru be there? Uhuru is neat. Actually, most women in the various Star Treks are pretty neat- maybe that's why I liked it when I was a kid.

Posted by Abby | July 21, 2008 4:10 PM

Chris Pine looks a little like Michael C. Hall in that picture, and for a minute I thought Hall would be playing Kirk. Now that would be interesting.

Posted by minderbender | July 21, 2008 4:11 PM

I suspect uhura is on there because she wears red. Since the color of each character matches their uniform. Figure her or Scotty or some random security guard.

Posted by harold | July 21, 2008 4:13 PM

So they're that desperate to see Karl "Eomer" Urban. Nerds!

Posted by keshmeshi | July 21, 2008 4:15 PM

I have a bad feeling Quinto's going to be distracting in the role. I hope I'm wrong.

Posted by Darcy | July 21, 2008 4:18 PM

i suspect uhura is on there to make it less white and male, like the original star trek predominantly was(You'd almost expect the "aliens" to have ultra anglo last names). Any other explanation is being willfully ignorant of the original star trek and today's political and social atmosphere.

Who deserves to be on the poster? The people that play a relevant and important role in the movie. IF this is mere window dressing like Angelina Jolie in any action movie shes ever been in (which usually means the movie is a bunch of male adolescent gun/car fantasy bullshit) then I expect to see Uhura wearing booty shorts and straddling the enterprise while eating a waffle cone of vanilla ice cream.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | July 21, 2008 4:23 PM

Jean Luc Picard > James T. Kirk

Posted by w7ngman | July 21, 2008 4:27 PM

Beared Riker > Clean Shaven Riker

Posted by Bellevue Ave | July 21, 2008 4:30 PM

@7: the hope is that this incarnation of Uhuru would be more like the smart, capable, interesting, not-entirely-sex-objects women of most of the Star Treks past. (I was a kid during Next Generation, and loved it very much- I still have a lot of goodwill for it, silly as it is.)

But this is a large big-budget modern movie, so I'm not really holding my breath on it.

Quinto already looks like a Vulcan, though, so I don't think he'll be distracting.

Posted by Abby | July 21, 2008 4:32 PM

Uhura. Damn it. I can't think today.

Posted by Abby | July 21, 2008 4:34 PM

The trailer I'd seen looks very disappointing (welders in space? WTF?). But it is obviously too early to make any real judgement.

Zack Quinto looks the part, at least in this pic. Dead ringer for early Nimoy. And I'd do him any day, any way, so that's always a bonus.

Simon Pegg is an inspired pick to play Scotty. I can't imagine a better choice.

The movie will succeed or fail on the casting of Kirk. I know nothing of Chris Pine, so don't know if he can pull it off or not. Shatner was always more charisma than acting talent, so maybe it'll work.

There is so much fandom and lore built up around the whole Star Trek universe that it will be impossible to make everyone happy. My expectations are low. I'll probably go see it anyway. I won't be able to resist.

Posted by Reverse Polarity | July 21, 2008 4:41 PM

...I'm a bit unclear why you would discount the opinion of nerds when it comes to Star Trek.

Posted by gfish | July 21, 2008 4:41 PM

Abby, you can't tell me that the women of star trek are capable, smart and not merely sex objects.

How many episodes does Kirk essentially force himself on a hapless anglo alien women? How many episodes does Troy state something beyond the blistering obvious ("I sense something... vague and obvious"). When does Uhura do anything useful besides relay information? Oh yeah, when she sang and danced, shucked and jived for massa Kirk to lure the enemy over the dunes.

The only women worth a damn are Crusher (but she also gave birth to Wesley, the worst Mary Sue EVER), Tasha Yar, The Klingons that hit on Riker

Should I even mention Seven of Nine? Janeway had her moments to be sure but Seven of Nine? Yeah, THERES A REAL INTERESTING SET OF BREASTS IN A LYCRA OUTFIT!

Seriously, what Star Trek are you watching?

Posted by Bellevue Ave | July 21, 2008 4:50 PM


Karl Urban is a very odd choice for McCoy. McCoy was a bit older than the rest of the cast, and not at all a cast for his looks. Urban is way too young and good looking to be McCoy.

John Cho doesn't look remotely like a young George Takei. But he's asian, so I guess Hollywood figured that's close enough.

Posted by Reverse Polarity | July 21, 2008 4:50 PM

Reverse Polarity

The trailer didn't take place in space, it was night on earth. I thought it was clear when people were, you know, breathing air n' shit.


Now who is going to play Harry Mudd?

Posted by The White Blackula | July 21, 2008 4:51 PM

#9, most definitely. I think the bearded Riker was less prone to stepping over the backs of chairs like a giant womanizing douchebag.

Posted by w7ngman | July 21, 2008 4:53 PM

reverse polarity @12, watch the trailer again, and look carefully. The construction isn't taking place in space; it's a ship yard on the ground with a city skyline in the distant background.

Flame away, just do so accurately.

Posted by lostboy | July 21, 2008 4:56 PM

Welding is still kind of silly, for reasons already discussed here.

Posted by w7ngman | July 21, 2008 4:57 PM

@17, He still had a yard wide stance though. A leopard can't change his spots so easily.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | July 21, 2008 4:59 PM

paul, honey, answer me this: what did captain kirk do when the alien babes didn't have a vagina? where did he stick his enormous whozeewhatsit? i need to know, stat!

Posted by scary tyler moore | July 21, 2008 5:00 PM

but does Zack Quinto like hobbits?

Posted by Nimoy in Hi-Fi | July 21, 2008 5:04 PM

@19: What do you have against welders? Welders might be cheaper than robots, ever think of that?

Posted by Greg | July 21, 2008 5:09 PM

@21: To give a distressingly vulgar response to your question, I always figured that Kirk was probably a titty-fuck kind of guy.

Posted by Paul Constant | July 21, 2008 5:12 PM

well, what if they didn't have titties? or had three or four? i'm havin' an anxiety attack over this!

Posted by scary tyler moore | July 21, 2008 5:15 PM

Four titties? Maybe he grew up on a farm.

Posted by Fnarf | July 21, 2008 5:19 PM

STM @25, I don't see how extra breasts are a problem for Paul's hypothesis.

As for a total absence of breasts, don't you think that would preclude Kirk's interest in the first place?

Posted by lostboy | July 21, 2008 5:19 PM

@14: Seven was meant to be T&A, obviously, but she ended up being one of the better written and more interesting characters on Voyager along with the Doctor.

Posted by lol | July 21, 2008 5:26 PM

16 & 18, Welding an interstellar vessel on the ground makes it even stupider. Why the fuck would you construct a spaceship on the ground? Then you'd just have to boost the whole fucking thing up into orbit. Any sci-fi nerd knows it would be constructed in orbit, not on the ground. Duh.

Posted by Reverse Polarity | July 21, 2008 5:27 PM

@29: You'd have to boost the whole thing into orbit anyway, but at least if you build it on the ground you don't have to worry about supplying air, water, food, living quarters, etc., etc. to all the workers. Plus, gravity!

Posted by Greg | July 21, 2008 5:33 PM

Reverse Polarity @29 and anyone else, my point @18 was not a defense (nor an attack), just a correction.

Carry on.

Posted by lostboy | July 21, 2008 5:41 PM

@30: Plus, gravity! should be on a t-shirt.

Posted by Paul Constant | July 21, 2008 5:41 PM

wait ... there's gonna be a new Star Trek movie? Huh? Wow. New batman, new star trek, new terminator, new mummy, new indiana jones, new james bond ...

Posted by SeattleExile | July 21, 2008 5:42 PM

Scary, I just always assumed the aliens taught Kirk new and innovative sex acts. Kinda like an alien Karma Sutra (did I spell that right?).

Posted by PopTart in Denver | July 21, 2008 5:55 PM

@14: what about the favorite character of my youth, Ro Laren? (Yes, she was not there the whole time. Screw you, she was still my favorite and I did have my mom buy me a Bajoran earring when I was ten.) I didn't watch enough of DS9 or Voyager to really speak of it well, but there was Kira in DS9 and, y'know, Captain Janeway. For fairly mainstream sci-fi, Star Trek (at least the ones after the sixties) did damn well by the ladyfolk. I'd certainly say it was better than say, Star Wars. And while there was definitely pointless T&A, it's not like they didn't cast some of the male cast members equally for their looks, theoretically.

And you can't blame Dr. Crusher for Wesley being a stupid Mary Sue character. C'mon.

Posted by Abby | July 21, 2008 6:44 PM

PopTart @34, if I remember right, the Kama Sutra covers the technique of ensuring your partner's satisfaction, while the Karma Sutra covers the cosmic importance of taking responsibility for it.

Posted by lostboy | July 21, 2008 6:46 PM

Seven of Nine was the best part of Voyager. To me, she's another alienated head/heart split, la Spock and Data. Eye of the beholder, I'm sure.

Posted by chicagogaydude | July 21, 2008 8:56 PM

Jadzia Dax was great on DS9, plus she married Worf.

Posted by dallasgirl | July 21, 2008 9:45 PM

RE The shipyard construction...

If you go here and look (move the slider to 99% to see clearly), one of the panels shows a man with no mask of any sort.

This site refers to the San Francisco Fleet Yards (in orbit) where the USS Enterprise was constructed, but that would be misleading, because The Motion Picture showed the Enterprise getting her refit in the SF drydock in orbit. IMO, it's not clear where she was originally constructed.

Also, Uhura had a stronger role in the Animated Series (same tone as TOS but a 1/2 hr long), featuring a couple of episodes where she makes decisions and such, rather than merely relaying information.

Posted by gerbera | July 22, 2008 2:55 AM

I thought Uhura was showing some sexy power in the movies, particularly ST3 and the transporter bit? Come on! I TOTALLY wanted a series with her having her own command! And the episode in the Mirror universe and the mirror Sulu?

But on to the Enterprise which is the only reason to see Star Trek, I mean there is only one Queen of Space and it is NCC-1701. I am worried that they are going to make the ship look like some tricked out Honda Civic or like something Rick Berman would have used.

We need to remember; it is up to Abrams to save the franchise after Berman raped and pillaged everything that was Trek. I am not optimistic about this movie at all.

Posted by Andrew | July 22, 2008 6:48 AM

WTF? The Slog Comments have now morphed into a bad flame session on AICN?

B.A., if TOG was too "white and male" for your taste, well consider the time period. Roddenberry was in fact promoting strong female characters as far back as the first "Star Trek" pilot, "The Cage" in 1965 (in which his future wife, Majel Barrett, was originally cast as the "Enterprise"'s second-in-command). Unfortunately, the suits running NBC at the time, in their infinite wisdom, deemed the idea of a strong female character, particularly one in a position of authority over men, as too "unbelieveable" for audiences to accept.

Keep in mind also, that in its day, TOS had the most racially diverse cast of any show on television; sure, you'd have a token black (they were referred to as "negroes" back in the olden days) on shows like "Hogan's Heroes" or "Mission Impossible", but an African American woman was almost unheard of - Diahann Carroll ("Julia"), Gail Fisher ("Mannix"), and Chelsea Brown ("Laugh-In") are the only other black women I can recall besides Nichelle Nichols, who held down recurring principal roles on prime-time network TV during that same period. And then Roddenberry went all crazy and added an Asian, AND a green-blooded, pointy eared ALIEN. What the HELL was he THINKING? And as if that weren't enough, of the eight series regulars during the first season, three were women (dropping down to two when Grace Lee Whitney was replaced in favor of Walter Koenig's Ens. Chekov in the second season), again for the mid-1960's that was a pretty darned balanced cast compared to nearly every other weekly episodic series around at the same time.

To be blunt: there simply was not another ensemble driven series that came even close to the level of diversity on "Star Trek" literally until "Sesame Street" premiered on public television - three years later.

Oh, lest we forget: sure, the "T" in "James T. Kirk" may really stand for "Tomcat", but it's worth pointing out that many of the females - of whatever species - he bedded were just as interested in bedding HIM as he was them - the idea that women might actually ENJOY sex, and enjoy it just as much as their male counterparts, being an equally controversial and forward-thinking concept for the time.

As for the construction of the "Enterprise", Stephen E. Whitfield settled this argument - oh, about 40 years ago. From page 171: "The unit components were built at the Star Fleet Division of what is still called the San Francisco Navy Yards and the vessel was assembled in space" (my emphasis). Presumably this information comes directly from Roddenberry's original "show bible", a compilation of background information on the series provided to prospective writers.

Note to @16: Jack Black, who else?

Note to @21: presumably, wherever the little alien babies came out.

Note to @26: precisely, and we may even see that Iowa farm in this film.

Posted by COMTE | July 22, 2008 8:12 AM

@32: I bet the Dinosaur Comics guy would like it.

Posted by Greg | July 22, 2008 9:12 AM

comte, i bow to your superior nerdery.

Posted by ellarosa | July 22, 2008 11:26 AM

According to the Imdb there is a character called "The Green Girl" so we will probably see Kirk have sex.

Posted by elswinger | July 22, 2008 12:07 PM

As well you should, @43: you don't want to mess with me when it comes to 1960's TV, and especially TOS, because I will kick your trivia-challenged ass from here to Sherman's Planet and back.

Posted by COMTE | July 22, 2008 12:42 PM

@44, the green girl is an Orion Slave Girl. Please check your Star Trek facts.

Posted by Andrew | July 22, 2008 12:42 PM

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