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Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The Weirdest Celebrity Arrest in Recent History…

posted by on July 22 at 8:30 AM


…occured last night in London, where Christian Bale—star of this weekend’s history-making blockbuster The Dark Knight—was arrested for allegedly assaulting his 61-year-old mother and 40-year-old sister.

Splashy British tabloid coverage comes from The Sun.

Respectable mainstream media coverage comes from Agence France-Presse.

Image of Christian Bale as a child star comes from Empire of the Sun.

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He seemed like such a nice young man...

Posted by lostboy | July 22, 2008 8:45 AM

David, much like you assulted the word "this" that you spelled "theis"?

Posted by Andrew | July 22, 2008 8:51 AM

Will he make...bale?


Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | July 22, 2008 8:51 AM

yawn, yawn, yawn. aren't there more pressing issues in the world today?

Posted by tiffany | July 22, 2008 8:54 AM

And the Bale pun @3 is amazingly not the worst joke in the thread so far.

Posted by lostboy | July 22, 2008 8:55 AM

@2, well, buttmunch, whilst Herr Doktor Schmader may have assaulted the word "this" as "theis," you made a perfect clown of yourself by spelling "assaulted" as "assulted."

Go directly to jail.

Posted by International Society for the Protection of the Reputation of David Schmader, Artist | July 22, 2008 8:56 AM

Before we go any further, I need to say that Empire of the Sun sucked.

Now that we've dealt with that, please continue.

Posted by Greg | July 22, 2008 9:00 AM

a lot about naught. who HASN'T assaulted their mum & sis?

Posted by max solomon | July 22, 2008 9:04 AM

The bitch probably deserved it. I mean when you are the mother of Christian Fucking Bale you do what you are told.

Posted by Patrick Bateman | July 22, 2008 9:10 AM

I have a pal that was just working on Terminator 4 with Bale an said him and his wife were super rad nice people. So I'm going to say that he was obviously pushed too hard and the victims deserved what they got.

I'm SO kidding.

Posted by catnextdoor | July 22, 2008 9:10 AM

He's still Yummy McDreamboat on a raft of vanila frosting.

Posted by It's Mark Mitchell | July 22, 2008 9:11 AM

If I went all the dang way to London to be thoroughly overshadowed by my dead costar, I would certainly ask my loved ones to charge me with some crime or other.

Posted by tomasyalba | July 22, 2008 9:12 AM

Here's the 'l' I left out of vanilla.

Posted by It's Mark Mitchell | July 22, 2008 9:12 AM

and no tiffany @4..wake the fuck up. there are NOT more pressing issues in the world today.

Posted by reverend dr dj riz | July 22, 2008 9:23 AM

I think @10 has the real story - there's a Terminator 4? And Christian Bale is John Connor? And it's directed by . . . McG?????

Posted by Levislade | July 22, 2008 9:42 AM

For a half-ass reenactment, watch the ending of Laurel Canyon. But seriously, I'm already on his side.

Posted by Mr. Poe | July 22, 2008 9:50 AM

Ambien and wine?

Posted by Mahtli69 | July 22, 2008 9:56 AM

Anyone surprised Mr. Poe is on the side of a guy who assaulted two old women?

Posted by poppy | July 22, 2008 9:58 AM

40 isn't old, poppy. You're such a sexist.

Posted by Mr. Poe | July 22, 2008 10:01 AM

calm down, marjory!

my theory: maybe mom and sis said something snarky about his late father, david bale. it was dad who raised the kids, not mom. or maybe everyone was drunk. none of us know, as christian, mom and sis ain't talkin', and aren't likely to in the near future.

Posted by scary tyler moore | July 22, 2008 10:11 AM

Anyone over 22 is old and wrinkly.

Posted by poppy | July 22, 2008 10:15 AM

@20: I'm pretty sure being drunk and/or hearing something snarky isn't a good excuse for fucking BATMAN to attack two ancient wrinkly women.

Posted by poppy | July 22, 2008 10:18 AM

1)There are reports are that it was VERBAL assault and not physical. Which is bad, but not as bad.
2)Fun Fact: Gloria Steinam is Bale's STEP-mom, (who wasn't the one assaulted)
3)Empire of the Sun is flawed but it has some great moments.
4)OT: Estelle Getty has apparently died after battling dementia for many years...

Posted by michael strangeways | July 22, 2008 10:23 AM

Misspelled "this" fixed! Carry on.

Posted by David Schmader | July 22, 2008 10:26 AM

@15 Yeah! From what I've heard it'll be crap, or it'll be really good. They set off the largest bomb in the SW since Trinity and I went to the middle of the desert to watch it. It was pretty awesome, the cameramen in the helicopters diving into the flames- one of the cooler things I've ever seen live.

But apparently he remembered all the crew's names who had worked on 3:10 to Yuma (also filmed in NM)- even the pee-on PA's. So everyone loves him for remembering and being so nice.

Posted by catnextdoor | July 22, 2008 10:27 AM

"Bale was born in Haverfordwest, Pembrokeshire, South Wales, in 1974. His mother was a circus clown and dancer and the actor grew up in a hippy environment."

Maybe he thought she was the Joker.

Posted by patrick | July 22, 2008 10:32 AM

poppy @22, I'm pretty sure everyone will agree it was a case of unendurable provocation, when all the non-wrinkly 40-year-old commenters here get together and beat your punk ass.

Posted by lostboy | July 22, 2008 10:41 AM

Awww, Estelle. :(

Posted by leek | July 22, 2008 10:43 AM

We should've all seen this coming when he rebelled against Robert Duvall in "Newsies."

Posted by Chris Jensen | July 22, 2008 12:49 PM

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