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Friday, July 25, 2008

Seattle Hipsters Vs. Sunny Tucson

posted by on July 25 at 16:46 PM

Blogger Brian Davis writes, “When you sit in ‘an office full of PhDs’ all day long, you’re inspired to ask the really hard questions, to plumb the depths of human knowledge and probe the mysteries of the ancients.” Indeed, he’s been plumbing away on the math of Seattle’s relative sunshine deficit to Tucson, Arizona. This weekend should be no exception, as the forecast is unseasonable gray for the this Saturday and Sunday’s Capitol Hill Block Party (formerly running for the title of Heastrokepalooza). Davis devised a method to makes up for Seattle’s solar-energy shortfall that is both energy conscious and festive:

According to, a bottle of Budweiser contains 145 calories, or 606 kilojoules (a bottle of decent Russian Imperial can contain up to 1,000 kilojoules). That translates to about .168 kilowatt hours (kWh) per 12 ounce bottle (.278 kWh for the stout)….

This vast difference in solar energy [between Tuscon and Seattle] is the equivalent of about 9,529,916,667 Budweisers (or 5,759,086,331 boutique beers). Given that Seattle has a population of about 592,800 people within the city limits, this means that our denizens would have to pitch in and consume 16,076 beers per person per day (or, if they can afford it, 9,715 thick microbrews) just to equal the power potential of Tucson’s beamy rays.


One problem, though; it looks like Budweiser is out at this year’s block party and the Champagne of fortified soda water is in. Regardless, it can be safely predicted that all energy derived from beer consumed at the block party will be processed into stamina for… more drinking. Bottoms up, hipsters.

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I'll bring the giant furnace to throw all of these hipster douche-bags into!

Posted by phil | July 25, 2008 5:19 PM

Kelly O and Ari Spool give Incredible Hulk can of Rize, Incredible Hulk drink Rize, freak out, get bummed out, INCREDIBLE HULK BECOME DESPONDENT HULK!


And no, I don't feel like letting it go.

Posted by The Insatiable Sulk | July 25, 2008 5:44 PM

yeah good thing theres not anything else going on this weekend. at least 100 shows and these cocksuckers are fixated on their little righteous rightwing republican sponsored fraggle fest

Posted by ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo | July 25, 2008 6:32 PM

Comment Deleted.

Posted by The Stranger Girls are ugly and won't get laid | July 25, 2008 10:12 PM

What's wrong hipsters?

We burn clean.

"Me Love Brains [Long Time]"

Posted by Frida | July 26, 2008 6:32 AM

Comment @4 should be deleted. Fucking asshole. Don't listen to it, Ari, you're a cutie.

Posted by Fnarf | July 26, 2008 8:08 AM

"Tucson's beamy rays"? ...Brain Davis can go fuck himself. It's monsoon season in Tucson. This place sucks. It rains twice as much here during the summer compared to Seattle and the temperature just hovers around 100 degrees. It's like a fucking sauna.

On top of that Tucson has a bunch of ass-hats pretending to be weathermen who always get the forecast wrong. Can we borrow Steve Pool please? His hair is immaculate.

Posted by Andy | July 26, 2008 9:53 AM

With apologies to Andy, I was about to post about how nice it's been in Tucson - it's cooler than it would be without the rain (although it's humid), and the rain generally comes at night when your day is already done.

The only problem I have is that my yard's weeds are growing at an alarming rate...

Posted by Steve | July 26, 2008 11:53 AM

Say "YES" to War on Iraq

by Dan Savage
October 2002

"War may be bad for children and other living things, but there are times when peace is worse for children and other living things, and this is one of those times."

"In the meantime, invading and rebuilding Iraq will not only free the Iraqi people, it will also make the Saudis aware of the consequences they face if they continue to oppress their own people while exporting terrorism and terrorists. The War on Iraq will make it clear to our friends and enemies in the Middle East (and elsewhere) that we mean business: Free your people, reform your societies, liberalize, and democratize... or we're going to come over there, remove you from power, free your people, and reform your societies for ourselves

Posted by Kill 'em all and let Goawd sort 'em out! | July 26, 2008 4:27 PM

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