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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

No Guarantees

posted by on July 16 at 12:52 PM

A sign outside a Bait ‘n Peaches store in Ruston, Louisiana.


I have no idea what this means. It’s inscrutable on so many levels.

Via Tech Master Brian G., who reports that the peaches were delicious.

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Are you sure they are selling peaches? Sounds like their selling people to me.

Posted by Giffy | July 16, 2008 1:04 PM

who is this 'we' that is charged with guaranteeing taste? is there a difference between the homosexuals, queers, and lesbians? are they referring to taste in style as in fashion, or taste as in actual food flavor? it's amazing...

Posted by douglas | July 16, 2008 1:08 PM

I don't care how good the peaches were, Tech Master Brian G. should be slapped for giving money to such an establishment.

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | July 16, 2008 1:12 PM

There's nothing like a giant sign, bad grammar and an incomprehensible message to get your point across.

At least now I know whom to blame for those tasteless peaches I got last week.

Posted by rb | July 16, 2008 1:21 PM

Peaches taste different to Queers? Who'da thunk it?

Posted by Hernandez | July 16, 2008 1:21 PM

I like how homosexuals, queers and lesbians all got seperate nods

Posted by darek | July 16, 2008 1:22 PM

Don't like their peaches, not gonna shake their tree.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | July 16, 2008 1:22 PM

It wasn't his money, UB. He was merely the recipient of a peach. Ease up.

Posted by Anthony Hecht | July 16, 2008 1:22 PM

Soylent green is people!!

I'll have two Russians with a side of Queer, please.

Posted by spalding | July 16, 2008 1:24 PM

I'd only get this joke if it turns out that these people live in a giant upside down nest that they protect with barrel staves. The weakest amongt them is prodded and pushed out to bring you your order.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | July 16, 2008 1:29 PM

Sure, the peaches were delicious, but what about the bait?

Posted by P to the J | July 16, 2008 1:38 PM

A pound of earthworms, an African, 3 peaches, and a Chinese please!

Posted by Carollani | July 16, 2008 1:44 PM

Ruston gets a pass forever because it gave us Jeff Mangum and Neutral Milk Hotel.

Posted by abe | July 16, 2008 1:52 PM


Posted by RHETT ORACLE | July 16, 2008 1:55 PM

NapoleonXIV wins for saying: "Don't like their peaches, not gonna shake their tree."

Posted by Uncle Vinny | July 16, 2008 2:00 PM

I think it's implying that the groups mentioned have a more sophisticated palette. Apparently he doesn't know that I like Folgers crystals and eating at Denny's.

Posted by DJSauvage | July 16, 2008 2:02 PM

This puts me in a quandry; am I a Homosexual or a Queer? Per this sign, I must apparently make a choice...

Posted by michael strangeways | July 16, 2008 2:04 PM

Oh! I got it. Its a excerpt from the foreword of "To Serve Man".

Posted by spalding | July 16, 2008 2:05 PM

God damn it! Now the Homosexualists are demanding SPECIAL BAIT 'N' PEACHES too? Where does it all end?

Yummy worms, though, you got to admit.

Posted by Fnarf | July 16, 2008 2:21 PM

I've always found Queers quite tasty, but often tasteless (and I wouldn't have us any other way).

Posted by Andy Niable | July 16, 2008 2:39 PM

I have a finger they can taste.

Posted by Vince | July 16, 2008 2:42 PM

(And who IS this "Peaches" girl and why they'all keep a'batin' her?)

Posted by Andy Niable | July 16, 2008 2:44 PM

That sign is totally Photoshopped.

Posted by brent | July 16, 2008 2:48 PM

Obviously written by a ferner Republican.

Posted by elswinger | July 16, 2008 2:59 PM

That "The Americans" is thrown in there just makes it even more inexplicable (and entertaining).

Posted by Abby | July 16, 2008 3:03 PM

See...if I have an African I'll be too full for dinner, but if I have a Chinese I'll be hungry in a half-hour.

Guess I'll have the Russian/queer with cream sauce.

Posted by Krizpie Kreme | July 16, 2008 3:28 PM

Brent actually it's not photoshopped. As the gf of Brian I can tell you that is 100% the real deal. You have to visit North Louisiana and the Ark La Tex area to fully appreciate the folks who call it home. The peaches were amazing, but his Indian Tomatoes were some of the best damn tomatoes I've ever had.

Posted by peachy | July 16, 2008 4:10 PM

they get mad when they have to hate too many people.

Posted by carlita | July 16, 2008 5:29 PM

They should have picked a different fruit for their name. Aren't apples better known for supplying free bait?

Posted by RainMan | July 16, 2008 5:51 PM

We all know people in Louisiana can't spell, where did they import the sign from, a Gay owned shop in NYC?

Posted by Sargon Bighorn | July 16, 2008 8:00 PM

I suspect it's deliberately ironic, and the joke is on self-righteously bigoted northern hipsters who can't fathom the possibility that anyone in Louisiana is anything but dumb as dirt.

I also suspect some local alt-weekly knkows the story behind the story, and may enjoy a "Waiting for Sluggo" laugh at Stranger's expense.

Posted by RonK, Seattle | July 16, 2008 8:07 PM

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