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Thursday, July 17, 2008

Last Night on Television

posted by on July 17 at 11:20 AM


It has been brought to my attention that a new season of Project Runway began last night. I am housesitting for a friend who has a huge and glorious backyard garden but no cable TV, and so I didn’t see it myself. (It’s waiting at home on TiVo.) But I’ve been informed (in the comments to my Mamma Mia! post) that our West Seattle homeboy contestant is laboring underneath a garish spray tan (how I love ya how I love ya, my dear ol’ Yammy!) and is angling to lodge the term “girlicious” in the nation’s vocabulary. Please continue spoiler-free discussion of these and any other topics relating to last night’s PR in the comments.

(Speaking of television, did anyone see last night’s Wife Swap? (The things you watch when denied cable…) I tuned in a little late, and the first thing I saw was one of the swapped moms—a busty Botoxed blonde—telling the camera that she wasn’t nervous about taking over the other wife’s job as a businesswoman. “I’ve got experience in public speaking!’ she said with a proud smile. Minutes later I learned her “public-speaking experience” came from her job with a motorcycle dealership, for whom she puts on a miniskirt and heels and stands by the side of the road, holding a sign that says “HOT BIKES!” while she hollers, “Hot bikes!” Basic television is amazing.)

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Mr Seattle Spray-on-Tan was the one I wanted most to go last night. He is BEYOND obnoxious, even if he is from Seattle.

Posted by Darrell | July 17, 2008 11:26 AM

Dude wants to be the next Christian Siriano SO BAD. It's sad. Also, I know there's only been one challenge but what he made was not an outfit by any stretch of the imagination. Unless you are the retarded version of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.

That's not a spoiler, is it?

Posted by Baxter | July 17, 2008 11:27 AM

I want to do dirty, dirty things to Wesley. And since he worked for Marc Jacobs I doubt he'd mind.

Posted by Brian | July 17, 2008 11:31 AM

Seriously my friends and I were praying he would go home right away!!! He's phrase should be "do I look orange-licious." Or Mr. fake and bake.

Posted by NikT22 | July 17, 2008 11:32 AM

Spray-tan boy is going to be around for a while, just for the entertainment value.

Didja notice that the contestants all seem to come in identical pairs? Two Bettie Page rockabilly chicks, two grey Portland indie craft chicks, etc.

I won't give it completely away, but the winner's bottom half was the most creative thing I've ever seen on P:R. Top half, meh, but below the waist, unbelievable.

Posted by Fnarf | July 17, 2008 11:33 AM

All I have to say is that the Orange Christian wannabe spawed one of the best outfit descriptions:

"She looks like a grunge bunny"

(ala, playboy bunny)

He repp'd Seattle as hard as he could, bless him.

Posted by Original Monique | July 17, 2008 11:33 AM

Wesley get bonus points for pulling off loafers, button down shirt and short short dress shorts!

Posted by NikT22 | July 17, 2008 11:35 AM

Sorry, I was watching Big Brother. Wesley is an honorary Seattleite, however.

Posted by Will in Seattle | July 17, 2008 11:37 AM

One of the Portland girls looked like such a caricature of Portland that it made me smile. (The one with the glasses.)

Posted by Abby | July 17, 2008 11:48 AM

Isn't "Girlicious" already taken by that horrible show about making the next Pussycat Dolls on... I don't even know what channel?

Posted by SDizzle | July 17, 2008 11:54 AM


Posted by the shelver | July 17, 2008 11:57 AM

i'm crushin' on keith. big time. hottest project runway contestant ever.

i fucking love michael kors. we watched his critique of jerry's losing outfit 3 times. "the dress is like a... handi-wipe gone wrong."

agreed w/ fnarf about the winner. i can't believe she pulled off that skirt, but those coffee filter titties were hideous.

Posted by brandon | July 17, 2008 11:58 AM

Captain Spray Tan has clearly been on a half decade coke bender. Was there a single scene where he wasn't hoovering particulates out of the air? Mercy.

Posted by kid icarus | July 17, 2008 12:06 PM

Michael Kors was almost a human skin shade last night. I think he saw Blayne and realized how orange and ridiculous he looked.

Blayne is a cross between the crazy spitting lady from last season and the crazy NY "artist" that splatter painted that paper dress.

Posted by robo | July 17, 2008 12:09 PM

@12, no fucking kidding. I'd definitely eat Wesley's ass, but Keith is who I'd marry.

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | July 17, 2008 12:10 PM

Spray Tan had two different catchphrases he was trying to hawk, if you'll recall: "Girlicious," (yes, that was the name of that America's Next Top Pussy show) and "Holla at your boy," which is just strange and a little jarring from his mouth.

Posted by Christin | July 17, 2008 12:35 PM

Blayne made me ashamed to be from Seattle. Between the spray tan, the coke sniffles, the insistence on making "girlicious" happen (give it up, Blayne, stop trying to make "girlicious" happen!), and the perma-high grin, he was all I dislike.

Seattle has a deserved reputation for having no fashion sense, and his trainwreck didn't help it any.

Posted by Jessica | July 17, 2008 12:35 PM

OH GOD! He embarrassed Seattle last night. He needs to say he's from California, because even if he really is from Seattle is is not OF Seattle. He's SoCal trash through and through.

Could it have been any more obvious that this show is no longer about fashion design but merely about how to create a brand for yourself? Even Tim Gunn is just a bloated caricature of himself. Just sad...

Posted by Al | July 17, 2008 12:52 PM

@12 and 15: YES. the whole time i was watching last night, i just kept thinking how hot Keith is. Salt Lake City? I wonder if he is another Mormon; the hot gays always seem to be either fallen LDS boys or Jews.

Posted by Cook | July 17, 2008 1:38 PM

This is why I will never really "get" gay. Keith to me looks like a guy who fell asleep in the tattoo parlor, and his "special ed" glasses don't help. That's hot?

But then, I think the indie-chick Craftpalooza girls from PDX are luscious, so what do I know?

Posted by Fnarf | July 17, 2008 3:05 PM

keith loses a few hot points for having manicured eyebrows, questionable personal fashion sense (there was a brief shot from an upcoming episode where he's wearing a boner-killing "gayngsta" bandana. the sped glasses don't help matters either.), and not one but TWO nipple piercings (although props to bravo for gratuitous shirtlessness). the rest is just pure heaven.

Posted by brandon | July 17, 2008 3:35 PM

keith looks like a lot of gay men on capitol hill; pasty, chubby, short cropped hair, and not a hint of soul behind their beady little eyes.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | July 17, 2008 3:45 PM

BELLEVUE!!! you were supposed to show me how to dance off my pounds. get with it!

Posted by scary tyler moore | July 17, 2008 4:25 PM

Only one of the girls is from Portland, Leanne.

Posted by .a.d. | July 17, 2008 4:32 PM

OK, maybe the REAL Portland, but I think it's clear that they're both from the VIRTUAL Portland, the Portland of the mind.

Posted by Fnarf | July 17, 2008 7:05 PM

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