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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

For The Last Fucking Time

posted by on July 16 at 17:10 PM

To my critics: I do not smoke pot. If you want to connect my writing with a substance, make it wine…

All I ever do is this:
Thank You!
(Also, I have marked many—too many—freshman papers. I know what they look like. Enough said.)

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See, if this is satire, it's funny.

"make it wine". . . bwaaahahahaha!

Posted by violet_dagrinder | July 16, 2008 5:21 PM

OK then, you're a fucking magic eight ball of nonsensical pronouncements.

Posted by carlita | July 16, 2008 5:28 PM

Charles, you are the best slogger. Do not even give your critics the time of day.

Posted by StrangerDanger | July 16, 2008 5:35 PM

You know, it really would be beautiful work. You take a great paper, staffed mostly by smartassed pothead fags who are really managing quite nicely, and deflect any criticism by pointing to the satirical wine-swilling pseudointellectual sophisticate and going, "nuh uh, look at that guy!". Plus, bonus points for black and international! OMG. Total genius. And as the reaction to the New Yorker cover shows, most people wouldn't get it, making it even funnier.

The character couldn't be any better. The long-winded philosophical rants about nothing, the "logical" conclusions pulled out of his ass, the fondness for weird architecture, the fantastically absurd commentaries on race and culture. . .oh, the stoic misunderstood genius. . .and add WINE. Fuck. If this is on purpose, I would like to volunteer to buy this guy a lifetime supply of clove cigarettes.

And to whomever had the original idea, I bow before you. You're a better man than I. Bravo. Bravo.

Posted by violet_dagrinder | July 16, 2008 5:36 PM

Anyone else see half a tit?

Posted by Chris | July 16, 2008 5:38 PM

@6, that's just condescending and rude. Charles is a complete tit.

Please make a note if it.

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | July 16, 2008 5:44 PM


Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | July 16, 2008 5:46 PM

Do you have to pay for those Corbis photos, or is that just kind of a 'free' thing to use those?

Posted by DDDDDDDDD | July 16, 2008 5:46 PM

@3 FTW.

Charles, my brother, even though he refuses to acknowledge my existence, is the greatest Slogger ever, due not to The Chronic, or even The Grape, but simply because--and stop me if you've heard this one before--he's crazy.

Just like me.

Posted by Gnarls Mudede | July 16, 2008 6:08 PM

#4, Charles is all too real.

Posted by w7ngman | July 16, 2008 6:11 PM


Don't forget the naked women.

Posted by keshmeshi | July 16, 2008 6:30 PM

Testy, testy, testy, Charles!


Have a bong hit!

Posted by NapoleonXIV | July 16, 2008 6:34 PM

Poor, poor haters. How I pity you all.

Suck on the thought that I shall raise my shiny new son to believe that every sentence Charles Mudede writes contains the Truth. He's to be an honor student who will kick your honor student's ass, drink his milkshake, and vote against your pathetic vanity candidate.

Posted by elenchos | July 16, 2008 6:35 PM

Well, congratulations on the shiny new son, anyhow!

Posted by NapoleonXIV | July 16, 2008 6:50 PM

Does saying FUCKING make it more plausible or something?

It actually shows a lack of creativty and depth of expression.

VERY has four letters, too ya know....

Posted by Hartiepie | July 16, 2008 7:05 PM

grading papers eh, I'll bet you were what was described in "Life in Hell" as...

the vindictive teacher's assistant

redeeming qualities (none)

Posted by aha | July 16, 2008 7:57 PM

Big surprise. If you smoked pot your posts would seem a bit more focused.

Posted by Bob | July 16, 2008 8:00 PM

Awesome, Charles.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | July 16, 2008 8:31 PM

Were you wasted on Boone's Farm when you posted the story about the kid who ran over his sister? Because then it makes total sense to me now. En Vino Veritas.

Posted by Charles_Mudede_Is_A_Latent_Racist | July 16, 2008 8:55 PM

1/2 tit gets a lowercase nsfw

Posted by Original Gregg (OG) | July 16, 2008 9:02 PM

@ #20,

Nah, you can only see the nipple if you squint.

Posted by Un Original Floyd | July 16, 2008 10:46 PM

Wherever he got it, pic #1 is VERY nice.

Posted by drewl | July 16, 2008 10:53 PM

It's getting so tiring to read people complain about

A) Charles' posts. They're crazy, nonsensical at times and guess what, not boring. Find something else to rag on. No, not ECB either.

B) Use of the word fuck in it's many forms. Every fucking word is boring. Who cares? There's always a better word you could have used for 3/4ths of what you said. Fuck is a good, reliable, versatile word. I think the people who complain about it are upset to read it, but don't want to be known as a prissy little school marm.

Posted by PdxRitchie | July 16, 2008 11:25 PM

Charles is a beautiful writer.

Posted by Morgan | July 17, 2008 2:31 AM

@23--Hmmmm...if you don't like the criticsm, you yourself could scroll to the next post too..


Posted by Hartiepie | July 17, 2008 4:30 AM

way to objectify women, Charles.

Posted by eyeroll | July 17, 2008 7:23 AM


They ARE usually boring.

Posted by violet_dagrinder | July 17, 2008 8:01 AM

This post proves--proves!--that Charles Mudede is a latent teetotaler. I am greatly, and therefore munificently, offended. Charles, if you hate wine, women and song so much, then how come you're always posting about them?

If Charles Mudede doesn't stop being so damn discursively mischievous and start writing SLOG posts that are clear, concise, PC, and easy for irony-challenged haters like me to understand, I'm canceling my subscription to The Stranger.

So there!

Posted by Jeff Stevens | July 17, 2008 8:26 AM

Charles Mudede as a character of satire? That theory makes so much more sense than anything he's ever written.

Posted by Nick | July 17, 2008 9:55 AM

Whatever Charles is, he is not boring. These posts prove there are cokeheads and tweekers on Slog, which is very bad news.

Posted by RC Cola not Coke | July 17, 2008 10:12 AM

I'm glad that I didn't look at this at work. I'm also glad that my lawyer's cease-and-desist letter worked so well RE: #20.

Posted by Greg | July 17, 2008 2:18 PM

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