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Thursday, July 10, 2008

Miss Fuck You

posted by on July 10 at 8:05 AM

After Miss Nevada comes Miss Washington:

TMZ reports:

Miss Washington 2007 might wanna take the crown off before flipping off the camera, getting her Beer Pong on and making suggestive oral sex gang signs…

…Elyse Umemoto, who was the second runner-up in this year’s Miss America pageant, ran on a platform promoting diversity and women’s empowerment. The Evergreen State must be so proud.

Miss Washington Executive Field Director Mike Miller tells TMZ the organization is “embarrassed,” and issued this lengthy statement.

Our world has completed its fall. Nothing at all is safe, nothing is sacred.

RSS icon Comments


What's a Beer Pong?

Posted by Sirkowski | July 10, 2008 8:12 AM

What's an Oral Sex Gang?


Posted by Ziggity | July 10, 2008 8:14 AM

The only time a Miss Anything gets her name in the paper is when there is a scandal.

Posted by monkey | July 10, 2008 8:15 AM

Women are all tools. All of them.

Posted by Mr. Poe | July 10, 2008 8:20 AM

My little brother told me that the "oral sex gang sign" signified smoking a cigar when he was 6; he learned it from a Poison video. Perhaps Ms. Umemoto is simply part of a cigar-smoking gang.

Posted by bronkitis | July 10, 2008 8:22 AM

who fucking cares?

Posted by jameyb | July 10, 2008 8:28 AM

What does TMZ stand for?

Posted by um | July 10, 2008 8:34 AM

Will in Seattle for the win.

Posted by hairyson | July 10, 2008 8:34 AM

Most things that are considered sacred are (intentionally or not) divorced from their origins, and to remain sacred must keep as far away from the complicated dirty *real* world.

YouTube, Myspace, and the interwebs combined with ever cheaper and accessible forms of media recording has, and will continue to give, that which is sacred and innocent a run for its money.

Frankly in my opinion this is a good thing, because without a
constant reminder that all ideas, sacred or otherwise, have their origins in *real" world (from humans no less), you'll get lots of people invested in ideas without reference to the people that represent and /or create them.

The result? Everything that from Misguided notions as to what women need to aspire towards, to whiplash inducing debate as to whether Obama is a savior or shill.

Belief in the sacred is a consolation prize for weak thinking.

Posting embarrassing photos of yourself (or creating the opportunity for it to happen) is not the end of the age of innocence. It is just poor judgment.

Posted by Pomoboy | July 10, 2008 8:41 AM

Is the Miss America Pageant going to spread the Jersey Pout out to Washington next? Ugh.

Posted by Fnarf | July 10, 2008 8:43 AM


Posted by Bellevue Ave | July 10, 2008 8:47 AM

I think its cute...

Posted by Bob | July 10, 2008 8:54 AM

Those photos are nothing- they look like a regular night of debauchery. I dont see anything incriminating or tasteless even.

Miss Nevada on the other hand... that was just asking for a spanking. A very, very, very hard spanking.

Posted by catnextdoor | July 10, 2008 8:55 AM

Wait, young women get drunk and do stupid things? AM TEH SURPRISED.

Posted by Greg | July 10, 2008 8:55 AM

Believe me, there's plenty of room left for the world to fall. If anything, this photo reaffirms my faith in humanity.

Posted by Joe M | July 10, 2008 8:56 AM

the real story here is that Washington's got a pageant winner that's hot

Posted by CM | July 10, 2008 9:07 AM

As a resident of the Evergreen State, I am proud. How to represent us girl. I'd rather have someone flip me the bird than be some prissy debutante.

Posted by Roger | July 10, 2008 9:07 AM

@8 thanks. But, based on pageant contestants I've dated, this is an appropriate choice to represent Washington, actually, so I don't see what the problem is ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | July 10, 2008 9:10 AM

Silly Rabbit! Beer Pong is the video game that went on the market the same year as Donkey Keg Stand.

aka, Back In The Day.

Posted by Cookie W. Monster | July 10, 2008 9:13 AM

Gawd, I'm sick of the smoochy face/bird pose same as the throwin' scissors and making constipation face. Mark of the douche, mark of the douche.

@7 tmz = three mile zone

Posted by Some Gotti kid | July 10, 2008 9:20 AM

Will @18 "based on pageant contestants I've dated"


Awesome, just awesome.

Posted by chet | July 10, 2008 9:20 AM

"Dated" is a euphemism for "had in the trunk of my car", right?

Posted by Fnarf | July 10, 2008 9:24 AM

Wait, those pageant girls aren't the chaste (yet nubile) young things I've spent so many years watching on a muted tv, while masturbating into a tube sock? NO!!!!

Posted by Middle America | July 10, 2008 9:31 AM

This thread is handing out LOLs like candy.

Posted by laterite | July 10, 2008 9:33 AM

So if they weren't flipping and pouting they would be sacred and the pageant could go on and all would be ok.
They would still look like a couple of bad drag queens.

Posted by -B- | July 10, 2008 9:46 AM

Fnarf, I love you.

Posted by PopTart | July 10, 2008 9:52 AM

No, I was being serious

Posted by Will in Seattle | July 10, 2008 9:52 AM

The real news to me is that Charles somehow saw a beauty pageant as sacred, much less the apparent last bastion of sanctity whose breach is the thud at the end of our fall from grace.

Posted by lostboy | July 10, 2008 9:58 AM

these girls look like dumb hoes, and that's what's embarrasing. they crowned someone sorta slow.


Posted by tiffany | July 10, 2008 9:59 AM

We still have beauty pageants?

Posted by Giffy | July 10, 2008 10:23 AM

hell ya..washington knows how to party! at least our beauty queens look like they could kick some ass if they need to. native girls are awesome.

Posted by Jiberish | July 10, 2008 10:24 AM
No, I was being serious

...and THAT'S the tragedy.

No, seriously, Will. I can see why all the hot babes hop on your cock. They love your dynamic and effervescent sense of humor. That and your can do, results-oriented attitude on life.

Posted by Big Sven | July 10, 2008 10:25 AM

Charles worships the notion of Platonic ideal; a beauty pageant fits perfectly into this belief system.

Platonic ideals are stupid.


Posted by Timothy | July 10, 2008 10:56 AM

TMZ = Thirty Mile Zone (the area of Hollywood, LA)

Posted by Non | July 10, 2008 11:03 AM
Posted by Bellevue Ave | July 10, 2008 11:19 AM

So it hasn't occurred to you guys that this post is sarcastic.

Posted by keshmeshi | July 10, 2008 11:23 AM

No, it hasn't kesh, and I for one would never ever be sarcastic.

(nobody asked me when I dated them ...)

Posted by Will in Seattle | July 10, 2008 11:41 AM

Speaking of unasked questions, does the Westminster dog show even count as a beauty pageant?

Posted by lostboy | July 10, 2008 12:05 PM

The one on the right is actually kinda smokin', but Miss Washington there looks a lot like most of the waiters at this AsiaSF, only less convincing (which could still be a compliment, btw).

Posted by Dougsf | July 10, 2008 1:27 PM

So if TMZ stands for Thirty Mile Zone, The Stranger would be FBZ for Four Block Zone

Posted by tramp stamp | July 10, 2008 1:30 PM

@29 doesn't everyone look like a "dumb ho" when they're trashed? jeez. I thought Miss Nevada's party looked fun...

Posted by nicole | July 10, 2008 1:48 PM

@ 49

not really. unless you hang out with bros a lot and go to wsu.

she reminds me of the 14 yr old myspace creepies that take billions of provocative pictures of themselves in the bathroom.

while that may be "the norm", it's still stupid.

Posted by tiffany | July 10, 2008 2:09 PM

Hey, I bet Will is handy with the ladies. He invites them back to his apartment to see his collection of in-house World Health Organization statistics.

Posted by CP | July 10, 2008 6:51 PM

@30 even more surprising, apparently we still have beauty.

Posted by snarky | July 10, 2008 7:58 PM

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