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RSS icon Comments on Youth Pastor Watch II

1

hide & seek in a dark church with your youth pastor? Sounds HOT!!!

I know, I have some serious issues...

Posted by Mike in MO | June 5, 2008 10:45 AM
2

I am a current member of Brian's youth group in Florida and as someone who has worked with him extra hours on the worship team and gotten to know him very well, and as a female, I know that he would never EVER do anything of this sort. He is a Godly man with a heart for Christ whose primary concern is teaching teens about God and His love. He has inspired me and many others at our church so much and I feel our youth ministry has grown and prospered because of his commitment to doing God's will. Funny how Satan has to find some way to slip in when a person of God is furthering the kingdom at such a rapid pace. I can only pray that those who are pointing fingers will examine their own lives and find that only God can give true satisfaction and love.

Posted by Youth Member | June 5, 2008 10:51 AM
3

Awww, what a cute troll. Can we keep her?

Posted by Abby | June 5, 2008 10:54 AM
4

I hope (but my hope is in vain) that when he is proven innocent of all charges that you will run another story giving the facts. As I know the media and bloggers like to give opinons on issues, that facts are skiewed or false, so I unfortunatly realize that you will not run the true story.
You have found him guilty with out the luxury of a trial (although I do believe that he has a constitutional right to a trial to be innocent until proven guilty)
I hope you will follow this through and report on the final outcome on his story and the story of the girls, who you just assume to be true and upstanding people.

Posted by jen | June 5, 2008 11:06 AM
5

It is funny how Satan finds a way to slip into churches that are prospering and doing God's will. Clearly if you want to avoid Satan, Youth Member, you need to stay away from churches and successful Christian youth groups. You're better off spending your free time in a gay bar or an abortion clinic or some other God-forsaken and Satan-forsaken spot.

Posted by Dan Savage | June 5, 2008 11:10 AM
6

We do updates on Youth Pastor Watch, Jen, and if charges are dropped or if Brian is exonerated, we'll run an update, of course. Likewise, if he's found guilty or pleads out, we'll run an update on that as well. And I made it clear in my post that Brian has only been accused of a crime, not convicted of anything. And I wasn't so much concerned with your youth pastor, Jen, as I was with the different way the media treats youth pastors and sharks.

Posted by Dan Savage | June 5, 2008 11:16 AM
7

I had to read your shark analogy twice to parse it and it gave me a headache.

But, the hide and seek thing reminded me of my misspent youth group youth. We, too, were playing hide and seek in church, it was pitch black and all of the sudden a booming voice called out "hey what are you kids doing?" We freaked the fuck right out, thinking it was God. One of my friends fell off the pulpit and sprained his ankle. So we wouldn't get in trouble, we dragged him to the staircase and told our parents he fell down the stairs. Alas, it wasn't God, only the church janitor, who promptly squealed on us.

Posted by PopTart | June 5, 2008 11:24 AM
8

Youth Member,

You would do well to remember that according to 2 Corinthians 11:14, even Satan can disguise himself as an angel of light. I think Brain Neiswender can do the human equivalent. It is indeed tragic that this happened in the Christian community, and even more so to his wife and his daughter. However, I have no doubts about Neiswender's guilt, as not only did he confess that he was guilty, but I personally know one of the victims. I am very sorry you have had the horrible experience of watching one fall in such a terrible way.

Posted by Nathan | June 5, 2008 11:34 AM
9

You are awesome, Dan. Sharks!

Posted by Gloria | June 5, 2008 11:35 AM
10
A shark that attacks a swimmer is never described as a “former shark,” even if the shark has pulled from the water and killed. It’s just a shark. Period.

That's a really stupid analogy.

Posted by Judah | June 5, 2008 11:45 AM
11

Calling the guy a "former" youth pastor also implies that the church fired him after the charges came to light. But no, he gets a suspension. Are churches unionized now?

Posted by keshmeshi | June 5, 2008 11:51 AM
12

No, no, Judah—this youth pastor/shark double standard is a very serious issue, and one I intend to pursue.

Posted by Dan Savage | June 5, 2008 11:55 AM
13

The problem is a semantic one. That guy is the former youth pastor of that church in Kingston, which he left to become youth pastor somewhere else. Kingston, being a reltatively small town, is only interested in his life in Kingston and wouldn't be reporting the story other wise.

But chances are you realize this, and you were trying to be sarcastic. Maybe you succeeded and I'm too tired to realize it.

Oh, and Youth Member, you would be surprised what trusted and Godly men do behind closed doors. I know of two clergy members, who I trusted and believed to be Godly men, who were arrested and eventually convicted for molestation. Human beings are imperfect to say the least.

Posted by Sheryl | June 5, 2008 12:00 PM
14

Maye it's like that old Mitch Hedberg joke.

"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too."

Posted by Ben | June 5, 2008 12:08 PM
15

I welcome our new youth pastor fans, and offer them this friendly advice if you're going to keep reading Slog: keep bleach handy, and be ready to throw it in your eyes. Dan posts a LOT of stuff about youth pastors here, and it's not for the faint-hearted.

Posted by Fnarf | June 5, 2008 12:21 PM
16

I am disheartened at the fact of Brian being guilty until proven innocent. We can play politics and have a verbage war, but what is truth? Who are these girls, were do they come from. Why would they wait this long to report such an act. I am a friend of Brian and his wonderful wife. I have worked hand and and with them and there has NEVER been a moment of questional activity. Our hope and prayer is that we as a family are able to encourage truth and not start gossip to destroy another life and home.I am seeing what the media wants us to believe but the only thing that is valid at this point is truth.

Posted by April | June 5, 2008 12:23 PM
17

I am disheartened at the fact of Brian being guilty until proven innocent. We can play politics and have a verbage war, but what is truth? Who are these girls, were do they come from. Why would they wait this long to report such an act. I am a friend of Brian and his wonderful wife. I have worked hand and and with them and there has NEVER been a moment of questional activity. Our hope and prayer is that we as a family are able to encourage truth and not start gossip to destroy another life and home.I am seeing what the media wants us to believe but the only thing that is valid at this point is truth.

Posted by April | June 5, 2008 12:23 PM
18

In my experience, April, there's far too little questional activity in America's churches.

Posted by Dan Savage | June 5, 2008 12:38 PM
19

As a former youth pastor (as in I was one and am no longer one, not the I-got-my-job-suspended-because-I-bit-a-shark...never mind) its a little annoying to see this sort of thing splayed all over the thing. What?!?! You mean child molesters are everywhere? Even in the helping professions!? I'm just so shocked!
Please. Lots of people, secular and non, do good, grossly underpaid work. Jumping up and down about those who get caught doing something pervy is kind of stale. Yes. pervs are everywhere. Next story please.

Posted by kokomo | June 5, 2008 12:45 PM
20

"Even in the helping professions!?"

No, ESPECIALLY in the helping professions. Youth pastoring is a fantastic way to gain access to trusting, naive youth, and is thus the perfect job for people who want to rape trusting, naive youth -- they're attracted to those jobs.

The proportion of perverts in the youth pastoring biz is much, much higher than it is amongst gay adopters. But kook religionists don't rant and rave about the dangers of youth pastors to the fabric of family values, do they? No, they rant and rave about the dangers of gay adopters.

Which is Dan's point. It's a good one.

Posted by Fnarf | June 5, 2008 1:44 PM
21

I find it sad that everyone who stands up for Brian Neiswender has a sarcastic comment following their post. I KNOW that he is completely innocent...no matter what anyone says about this story. These girls should come out with the truth!..which their story is far from it! These girls have admitted to lying about this kind of stuff before with him because they had a crush on him. Why is no one getting these stories also? He has ALWAYS been a trustworthy, honest, and moral man...even behind closed doors! Please don't assume he is guilty just because of the headlines.

Posted by mediacynic | June 5, 2008 1:57 PM
22

To all the (highly suspect to begin with, but let it pass) "defenders" here - Dan has promised us to keep us updated, even if he is proven innocent.

Now here is my question/equal promise request to you : will you be back here to admit your (quite serious) error if he is not proven innocent?

Somehow, I can hear the crickets already...

Posted by Wowza | June 5, 2008 2:14 PM
23

So Brian is innocent until proven guilty—even though you KNOW he's innocent—while these girls are guilty (of making false statements to the police) until... well, they're just guilty. Because you KNOW they're lying.

See how that works?

Posted by Dan Savage | June 5, 2008 2:17 PM
24

Oh, Fnarf. Youth pastors arent any more prone or immune to child molestation than my gay, male OBGYn is. Ranting and raving about any people group, profession, whatever, saying that THEY are pervs, or THOSE people are pervs or whatever, just breeds the very same thinking Obama is running against.

And although I now am in a SECULAR helping profession and working with kids who have been sexually abused (or otherwise traumatized) I have yet to meet one who was molested by a youth pastor. Most of the time it's mom's boyfriend who does the dirty work. Not that youth pastors dont do bad things, because they do, which was the point of my post. They are everywhere. They are anyone. They are gay youth pastors and they are straight interns at the Stranger.


Posted by kokomo | June 5, 2008 2:37 PM
25

i understand what you are saying. point taken. i just would like to know why these girls have more credibility than brian? we know a lot about brian but what do we know about these girl? will we know nothing on their integrity or lifestyle just because they (were) minors? just because the media says that this is "allegedly true" and that the church took care of this problem the first time, there is no way any person in their right mind, let alone the pastor at Christ Community Church, would keep him on as a pastor. why wasn't he fired back when (they say) this first came up in 2003? why was the only punishment for this -no more one on one music lessons? it just doesn't make sense. lots of loose strings yet a man's reputation is ruined from the media. even if there is a small story saying that he is proven innocent. i know that you are not saying this dan. i'm talking about the papers out in PA.

Posted by mediacynic | June 5, 2008 2:57 PM
26

Of course, there is another reason that he is not a former youth pastor. As soon as he ends up in jail, he will have yet another born experience and Jimmy Sweaggart repentance charade and become a jail pastor. This will all happen before they can defrock him of his first pastor position, hence former won't apply

Posted by jeff | June 5, 2008 3:43 PM
27

A lot of people posting things on this site keep insisting that these girls are lying. I would like to know why that keeps being said even though the paper says that the police recorded and apology. I don't understand any reason for anyone to make something this life changing up. I understand that some of you claim to know Brian, i know him as well. And i know that he is a great and godly man bbut even so everyone has a down fall. I do believe he is guilty. I also belive that this is the only way these girls can do. Being teenagers trusting your youth pastor and having him innapropiatly touch you leaves damage these girls will never fully recover but he needs to be punished. And to all these godly people who come on here you need to stop calling these girls liars. You have every right to back him up if you belive he didn't do it but no right to judge them. Its a very touchy subject but justice will be served.

Posted by Heather | June 5, 2008 4:59 PM
28

I am a new reader of your site, most of which is fairly funny. But... just curious, while clergy sexual abuse is criminal behavior, I am just wondering what the point is on your regular reporting of it? In looking through your previous posts, you seem to just put it up there. Are you trying to slander pastors? warn the public about a dangerous person? or etc.?

Posted by m | June 5, 2008 5:58 PM
29

if a construction worker was accused of the same thing, it would not have made it this high on the media. let’s face it. the world hates Jesus, and whatever it takes to makes his followers look like the worst people on the planet. christians are not any better than anyone else, they just are forgiven. i know that everyone has a bad story about some christian they knew once who was the biggest hypocrite. well guess what, everyone is a hypocrite, and if you dont think that you are one, than your lying. which is worse? sin is sin, no matter if you molest, or steal. God hates it all. for the people who think they can point fingers, you have to be blameless. i know that brian has enough support and evidence, to prove his innocence.

Posted by james | June 5, 2008 6:02 PM
30

have you seen these girls? not exactly the prettiest girls in the world. kinda gross. his wife is beautiful, and she was very involved with this youth group as well. it's sad that people are so into ruining lives. it's yours next.

Posted by bruce | June 5, 2008 6:08 PM
31

The worst part is the church knew before he left for his new church, they had a meeting and decided that no one should say anything. Brian keep in contact with these girls long after he left, he would have phone sex with them, i heard it. The didn't tell till now because everyone told them they were lying and no one would believe them. I don't what will happen here and now, but on judgment day when he is in front of god he will have a price to pay.

Posted by bob | June 5, 2008 9:06 PM
32

"have you seen these girls? not exactly the prettiest girls in the world."

Bruce, there are more than just those two. My friend who was also assaulted by Neiswender talked to the Police Captian Jorda. I've only seen one of the two girls that initially came forward, but trust me, they aren't all ugly.

For those the are bringing up the fact that the girls confessed to lying about the same thing before...that was only after the youth pastor, Brian, plead with this to take it back because his wife would have left him, if I recall correctly.

Posted by Nathan | June 5, 2008 11:39 PM
33

Deacon & Usher were here........

Posted by Deacon & Usher | June 6, 2008 5:02 AM
34

Okay, i have been reading over and over that just because he called the girls and appoligised[dont correct my spelling] that he is guilty!!! That is not true. I know Brian if he thinks that he has upset you then he will call and say that he is sorry, even if he did not do anything. "The girls are not to be trusted" is what I read on another web site and somboby knew that they were not to be trusted. both girls had a crush on him and when he left that church to come to florida then they got upset and made this thing up. If they were playing hide& seek in the dark he may have touched them if he was it but it was very dark in the church and he had no idea were he was tagging them at.

Posted by nina | June 6, 2008 5:59 AM
35

Does anyone remember the Duke Lacrosse Team? Everyone believed the girl and ruined several families before that got straightened out. The courts need to dig deep into all of this and hopefully the truth will come out here too, just a little sooner, before the families here are torn apart.

Posted by friend | June 6, 2008 6:43 AM
36

actually i know most of these girls and they're quite beautiful.

Posted by David | June 6, 2008 9:24 AM
37

actually i know most of these girls and they're quite beautiful.

Posted by David | June 6, 2008 9:25 AM
38

actually i know most of these girls and they're quite beautiful.

Posted by David | June 6, 2008 9:25 AM
39

Well obviously this guy is sick and was after their BODIES and not their face. Sex addicts could care less about what the person looks like, they just want...well, sex.

Posted by Joelle | June 6, 2008 9:28 AM
40

Well obviously this guy is sick and was after their BODIES and not their face. Sex addicts could care less about what the person looks like, they just want...well, sex.

Posted by Joelle | June 6, 2008 9:28 AM
41

Alright, Nina. There are more like 7-8 girls involved. Two are over twenty, many left the church a while back BECAUSE of Brian. Can you explain to me why a woman who is married and moved across the globe would want to convict him? Or why a different woman with child would want to testify against him, even though she has a boyfriend? And also, if we were so full of jealousy, why would we choose to come out about this now, two years later, rather than RIGHT after he left? Taking a stand for him is illogical if you know the facts, and his guilt will be proven during court.

Posted by Samantha | June 6, 2008 9:35 AM
42

Really an eye-opener blog for teens. Tells about changes which come in every teen’s life & how there life changes according to these sudden changes. Really a mind blowing blog. Have a good day……………………………

Posted by Korina Meza | June 6, 2008 10:39 AM
43

I used to work with Brian along time ago and I know that he would never do something like this. I have heard alot of stories about the youth these days making up stories and ruining peoples lives for attention or because of some reason. Not saying that there are people actually doing these acts to children but Brian is not the type of person to ruin his life this way.

Posted by S. F | June 6, 2008 12:05 PM
44

there is nothing new under the sun. read genesis 39, and you will see, this same thing happening to joseph, with potiphars wife. this book was written about 6000 years ago. so you can see that from the beginning of time that satan uses the same tricks over and over, to bring down men that can, and are doing so much for God's kingdom. Satan hates God, and everyone who serves God. brian is one of the Godliest men since Joseph. in the end, God won. and he will again, and again.

Posted by ross | June 6, 2008 6:41 PM
45

I know Brian if he thinks that he has upset you then he will call and say that he is sorry, even if he did not do anything. "The girls are not to be trusted" is what I read on another web site and somboby knew that they were not to be trusted.

Posted by Korina Meza | June 6, 2008 10:59 PM
46

There are a stories which attracts a lot of attention of the people. This story comes into controversies most of the times but if the matter is original then all the bad talks go into gutter. Story makes a lot of fans and becomes a lot famous.

Posted by Korina Meza | June 7, 2008 9:55 AM
47

For all of you whining about the alleged child-fucker's right to a presumption of innocence, you are only right if you are talking about that right in the context of a court of law.

Thee court of public opinion, however, can convict and shun the asshole pedophile whenever it wants to, without any evidence or trial whatsoever, and no legal right protects him from that.

Posted by Ptizelov | June 7, 2008 12:19 PM
48

first of all, you need to get an education. you sound like the most ignorant person on earth. learn to spell. also you sound like you're scared, that you will lose. there is no one even coming close to saying that there was intercourse involved, so get the story straight, before you go and say something that stupid. we all have an opinion of you now, and that is that you are as delusional as the girls involved in this case.

Posted by ptizelovispsycho | June 7, 2008 1:13 PM
49

Why would Brian touch the girls he was with Natalie at the time wasnt he?

Posted by ??? | June 7, 2008 4:34 PM
50

have you ever had a music lesson. it’s almost always one on one. you cant teach two people at the same time, with different skill levels. i am a teacher, and i know. i know that brian was never “alone” with these girls. someone was always in the church, and his door was always open, and people in his church, can prove this. as a pastor one of the things you have to deal with, is one on one counseling, one on one, ministering. if you go to a psychologist, they arent afraid of one on one meetings. so why should a pastor who is trying to help, be afraid of this. and another thing is that God is a big God. he doesnt care if someone “ruins” his reputation. he is God. he has the final say. you can hate him, not believe in him, think that all of Gods followers deserve to be persecuted, but he can handle it all. and he still has the final say. i hope that the girls know that if brian is found innocent, they have to serve the punishment. i know that this is how it works after charges have been made. the “hide and seek game”, when brian was giving lessons, he didnt say ” lets turn out all the lights, and i will find you”. COME ON!!!! it was with the whole youth group, with his wife, and youth workers present. and there were always some lights on. dont try to make him sound like a fool. the police are giving little bits of info, and the media is influencing this case way to much.

Posted by ken adams | June 7, 2008 5:22 PM
51

I agree totally with ken adams

Posted by S | June 7, 2008 5:38 PM
52

Yes those are very good points. Also, Brian is very smart. Even if he thought about these things, which he definitely did not, he would never ever be dumb enough to attempt them. He knows that there would be no way to keep the girls quiet and that in turn would ruin his career, family, and entire life. He is someone that thinks long term and not just spontaneously. There's no way in a million years he did it. The media is twisting everything he says to sound negative. Everything he says is being used against him and delivered to the public incorrectly.

Posted by Hmm | June 7, 2008 11:00 PM
53

nobody is answering my question. wasnt brian with his wife at the time that he was supposidly touching the girls????

Posted by ??? | June 8, 2008 1:41 PM
54

yes, they were married in 2004, and dated for 2 years before that. his wife was there for every game "in the dark". for the lessons, someone was always in the building, and his door was always left open.

Posted by ???'s answered | June 8, 2008 3:52 PM
55

You make me sick! How dare you judge someone before you have known them! Brian is a kind person and anyone who says different has never met him before. I believe in his complete innocence. Iam talking to you pitzelov! You know nothing so dont presume to!

Posted by Kevin | June 10, 2008 7:23 AM

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