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Friday, June 6, 2008

This is Terrible

posted by on June 6 at 13:39 PM

Variety reports that Keira Knightley is in talks to star in the remake of My Fair Lady.

Also, Variety reports that Guy Ritchie, whose Revolver is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen even though it stars both Jason Statham and Ray Liotta, is about to direct a Sherlock Holmes movie. “(T)he new Holmes [will] be more adventuresome and take advantage of his skills as a boxer and swordsman.” Unless Holmes is played by either Statham or Liotta (in which case it will be entirely awesome in an entirely awful way), this looks like bad news.

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Never mind Ritchie/Holmes - Sylvester Gardenzio Stallone is writing and directing an Edgar Allan Poe biopic.

Posted by UnoriginalAndrew | June 6, 2008 1:44 PM

I love Keira's woe-is-me "I don't want to be famous"-"I'm not going to act anymore" attitude. It works wonders for sealing more fans and more movie deals.

Posted by Mr. Poe | June 6, 2008 1:44 PM

No! NO! It's not too late to make My Fair Lady with Julie Andrews--dig up Rex Harrison's corpse goddammit!

Posted by Boomer in NYC | June 6, 2008 1:48 PM

If I have to see Sherlock Homlmes doing action/adventure boxing stuff, he better be rolling his fists around in circles in the air in a good natured turn of the century fashion.

Posted by ilovegeargelucas | June 6, 2008 1:54 PM

I'd only go to see Jason Stathem as Sherlock Holmes if the movie was entitled, "Sherlock Gets His Salad Tossed" and it was directed by Joe Gage...

Posted by michael strangeways | June 6, 2008 2:05 PM

@5 - I second that.

Posted by Jeff | June 6, 2008 2:10 PM

I actually liked "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels". But the thought of Guy Ritchie directing a Sherlock Holmes movie makes my brain cells curdle. I can't think of a worse match.

Posted by Reverse Polarity | June 6, 2008 2:20 PM

This is bad news, eh whot?

Now, if said gentleman by the name of "Guy" Ritchie were a true Holmesian etruscain omnivore, such an unforeseen event might not be so calamitous, but methinks skullduggery is afoot.

Posted by Sherlock Holmes Fan Club | June 6, 2008 2:29 PM

Guy Ritchie did a really awesome Nike ad involving my Arsenal team (and the Dutch, for whatever reason). But that is not adequate preparation for this, I'm afraid.

Posted by Abby | June 6, 2008 3:19 PM

In the old days with movie musicals, they'd pass over acting/singing Broadway folk (like Julie Andrews, pre-Mary Poppins) and hire stars who couldn't sing and dub over them with Marni Nixon. Now, they hire stars who can't sing and pitch-correct and otherwise treat their voices, which still sound weak. Ain't progress grand?

Posted by Greg | June 6, 2008 3:39 PM

I will refrain from making any comments about your Arse 'n' all, Abby. Oops! Already did. Christ, that just never gets old; it brings out the ten year old in me.

Posted by Fnarf | June 6, 2008 3:58 PM

Just when I thought Hollywood couldn't produce anything more crapier they manage to top all previous efforts.

Posted by yucca flower | June 6, 2008 10:42 PM

Why do people even think she's a good actress? And she looks like a skeleton. I hate her ugly underbite too.

Posted by Sha | June 7, 2008 9:04 PM

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