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Friday, June 6, 2008

Think About the Dehydrated Children!

posted by on June 6 at 10:33 AM

And their need for bottled hot water? One of the weirder lines from McCain’s speech on Tuesday:

Which was apparently supposed to be a slightly different line.

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Let me just put it this way - McCain is like Bob Dole, but with less courage and a lot less funny.

He thinks twitter is the new dance craze at the sock hop ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 6, 2008 10:45 AM

Sounds like a brilliantly cryptic insult to me.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | June 6, 2008 10:48 AM

Well, how else are they going to make their Earl Gray tea?

Posted by raindrop | June 6, 2008 10:50 AM

McBush's public speaking style is simply dreadful. His speeches sound like he's reading a terrahist's list of demands.

Obama could read a grocery list a make people weep with hope and joy, so he's gonna wipe the floor with McBush in the debates, no question.

Posted by Original Andrew | June 6, 2008 10:51 AM

It wasn't the hot water that weirded me out about that line, it was "dehydrated babies". It sounds like something you would order out of the back of a comic book.

Posted by skweetis | June 6, 2008 10:59 AM

Fuck. They're trying to lose.

It's a trap! A TRAP!!!!

Posted by NapoleonXIV | June 6, 2008 10:59 AM

We should be able to deliver nachos to iron-workers trapped in bridges.

Posted by Gabriel | June 6, 2008 11:05 AM

I think he meant to say rabies, not babies.

Posted by Bont | June 6, 2008 11:09 AM

I've heard reputable doctors say that he's showing early signs of Alzheimer's. Have you heard that? I got an email about it.

Posted by Whisper Campaign | June 6, 2008 11:16 AM

My predictions for 2009: McCain steals the election, Iran nukes Jerusalem on January 21, "President" McCain retaliates by nuking Hanoi.

And then he invades Iceland in order to steal all their ice for the benefit of the Coca-Cola Corporation.

Confused? Trust me, it'll all make sense after Chief Justice Hillary Clinton unilaterally overturns Roe v. Wade in 2010.

Posted by Jeff Stevens | June 6, 2008 11:17 AM

Part of me is giddy and excited that McCain won the repub nomination. There's something indeterminately personable about him, he's like your crazy racist uncle who's fun to party with. He's so wrong about everything that you can't help but love him, but you would trust him as your babysitter, not for even five minutes.

The spectacle of the general election will be a sight to see as grandpa McCain says all the wrong things and finally parades the idiocy of the conservative platform for all the see.

Posted by Super Jesse | June 6, 2008 11:20 AM

You can never have too much Coke, Jeff.

Posted by Will in Icelandic Seattle | June 6, 2008 11:26 AM

We should be able to deliver non-dairy creamer to Afghan tribal elders.

Posted by Gabriel | June 6, 2008 11:26 AM

I don't trust McCain to rehydrate the powdered childrens.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | June 6, 2008 11:27 AM

Sorry, just working on McCain's next speech here.

Posted by Gabriel | June 6, 2008 11:27 AM

My opponent prefers wrinkly, dessicated babies. Friends, that's not change we can believe in. [creepy smile]

Posted by Gabriel | June 6, 2008 11:29 AM


Does anyone else get the sense that he's laughing at how bad he is with the teleprompter?

Or maybe laughing at how they put the same lame spin-off catch phrase in the speech 20 times. "Oh god, I have to say that again?"

Hilarious, either way.

Posted by w7ngman | June 6, 2008 11:40 AM

If you think that our top priority should be delivering apricot Snapple to Nepalese Maoists, then by all means, vote for the junior senator from Illinois.

Posted by Gabriel | June 6, 2008 11:45 AM

The green backdrop is terrible, too. If not for the white writing, it looks like they had him in front of a green screen and forgot to swap in stock footage of black people and women.

Posted by w7ngman | June 6, 2008 11:48 AM

Try and remember McCain is from Arizona. If somebody does some crazy $hit here we just assume it's heat stroke....or meth.

Posted by yucca flower | June 6, 2008 12:16 PM

Needless to say, but McCain's speech would've been a whole lot better if he had just got up there and sang When the Children Cry by White Lion. He's always at his best with White Lion material, and I don't think we've really seen that so far in this campaign.

Posted by Gabriel | June 6, 2008 12:27 PM

Will in Reykjayik,

Exactly--or bottled water, hot or cold. Which is why McCain dropped that not-so-subtle shibboleth to his potential corporate donors in the water-privatization biz about which country we'll invade next if he gets the brass ring.

Burn, Reykjavik, Burn!

Posted by Jeff Stevens | June 6, 2008 12:39 PM

Here's my theory. All of these speeches were pre-written by Mark McKinnon in late May just before he resigned as McCain's media adviser. He's the guy who promised way back when to resign if Obama got the nomination because he didn't want to campaign against him. McKinnon drafted the strategy in the hopes that Obama would win, and the new media guys are too stupid to figure it out.

Posted by Cascadian | June 6, 2008 1:11 PM

@17, you're kinda right...he looks like he's loading his depends every time he does that. I've SEEN that expression on babies' faces before, and that's always what they're doing.

Posted by alan | June 6, 2008 1:57 PM

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