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Monday, June 16, 2008

The Making of a Commie

posted by on June 16 at 14:37 PM

From this:

To this:

HAVANA — The Cuban boy at the center of an international custody battle eight years ago has joined Cuba’s Young Communist Union.

Communist youth newspaper Juventud Rebelde quotes Elian Gonzalez as saying he will never let down ex-President Fidel Castro and his brother Raul Castro, who succeeded Fidel earlier this year.

Now 14, Elian was 6 when Miami relatives lost their fight to keep him in the United States and he was returned to Cuba in mid-2000 with his father.

Elian had survived a boating accident off the Florida coast that killed his mother, who was attempting to get to the U.S.

What kind of man will Elian become?

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Hey Elian, remember those dolphins who kept you afloat after all your family died, and carried you to safety in the US of A? They told me to tell you 'fuck you!'

Posted by Gabriel | June 16, 2008 2:50 PM

Yay Communism!

Posted by elenchos | June 16, 2008 2:53 PM

That kid was the worst Olympics mascot ever.

Posted by Ziggity | June 16, 2008 2:55 PM

Who knows what kind of man he'll become, Charles? He may even turn out just like you...

Posted by Hernandez | June 16, 2008 3:00 PM

Maybe he'll become so successful a communist that he will be able to run over blonde Americans in his SUV because they look different than he does. And no, I don't feel like letting it go.

Posted by Charles_Mudede_Is_A_Latent_Racist | June 16, 2008 3:11 PM

From what I hear, potentially hot.

Posted by Abby | June 16, 2008 3:21 PM

He'll become like every other man in Cuba, professing endless devotion to the Castros until he manages to construct a raft out of plastic bottles, inflated rice bags & driftwood and manages to escape.

Posted by jmr | June 16, 2008 3:27 PM

The question is, what kind of country will Cuba become? You know, when it stops being Communist.

Posted by The Artist Formerly Known As Sigourney Beaver | June 16, 2008 3:31 PM

I thought you made a commie by being a middle class white kid with a trust fund.

Or an older stranger writer who struggles with race issues and a penchant for box houses and star wars.

Posted by Original Monique | June 16, 2008 3:38 PM

My guess is he will join his comrades in the McCain/Bush Red Party, and rule America with an iron fist ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 16, 2008 3:42 PM

A bitter, disillusioned man, clinging to his guns and Manifesto....

Posted by NapoleonXIV | June 16, 2008 3:45 PM

My guess he will grow up to be the man with the gun.

Posted by elswinger | June 16, 2008 3:50 PM

Successor to Raul Castro...Viva la revolution!

Posted by Cato | June 16, 2008 4:01 PM

So why didn't the Stranger cover Che getting a statue in his birth country, anyway?

He was way cuter.

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 16, 2008 4:11 PM

So the kid joined the Cuban version of the boy scouts. Big deal. I was an altar boy for years. Everyone thought I wanted to be a priest. Boy, were they wrong. I only did it because it was more interesting than just sitting there at mass.

Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay | June 16, 2008 4:26 PM

@9: you're confused as to which white kids have trust funds. that would be UPPER class.

Posted by max solomon | June 16, 2008 4:34 PM

I don't think the phrase UPPER class means what you think it does ...

Unless you've been slumming with Paris Hilton recently.

Posted by Elite is not Intelligentsia | June 16, 2008 4:57 PM

Two words: Michael Corleone.

Posted by Jeff Stevens | June 16, 2008 5:28 PM

It was obvious from the time of Elian's return that he would receive "special" brainwashing in order to ensure his value as a symbol of the revolution. Unlike the poster @15, his role will not be temporary nor will he have any say as to his future.

Did you know that all children in Cuba have the state as their legal guardian? From birth, parents have no say in what happens to their child.

Posted by RC | June 16, 2008 6:06 PM

He'll grow up to be a man who supports socialized medicine and free education through graduate school. Lousy Bastard!

Posted by Y.F. | June 16, 2008 6:18 PM

@20: he'll be Swedish?

Posted by Abby | June 16, 2008 6:53 PM

Maybe Danish or Norwegian?

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 16, 2008 7:49 PM

What kind of man will Elian become? Who the fuck cares?

Posted by scott | June 16, 2008 7:52 PM

Elian will go on to a rich and full life, close to his people and his family, and all of you bitter commenters will be left with nothing but your hate.

Posted by elenchos | June 16, 2008 7:57 PM

The next step is the Socialist Super Soldier Serum.

Posted by Sirkowski | June 16, 2008 8:01 PM

RC, who did your "special brainwashing"? It's so retro....

Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay | June 16, 2008 8:38 PM

Well, a rich and full life under a repressive totalitarian regime with no freedom of association or of thought but otherwise, yeah, rich and full.

Oh, and we should hope he's not gay because the state treats homosexuals and especially people with AIDS with particular contempt.

@26, Here's the most recent state dept. human rights report on Cuba. It's from 2006 so it's not really that retro.

Posted by RC | June 17, 2008 12:08 AM

RC, I'm not here to defend Castro - after all, the communists took away some of the best hotels and nightclubs - but your McCarthy-esque speechifying doesn't really do much to promote your viewpoint.

I was in ROTC in college, and sat through way too many lectures that sounded like you sound - even as they acknowledged that the Soviet Union was all but dead, and would collapse on its own within a decade.

Of course, when it did, they all rushed to credit that dottering old nitwit Reagan, because they knew he would keep them in navy blue leisure suits and shiny shoes.

So I, personally, don't particularly object to your message - just the tedious, over-the-top way you deliver it.

Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay | June 17, 2008 7:01 AM

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