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Monday, June 16, 2008

Stupid Comment of the Day

posted by on June 16 at 16:01 PM

On the death of pioneering special effects guru Stan Winston:

Oh, give it a rest, they grow producers, executive producers, script writers, actors, directors, and all that in orange groves all over Cali, @3.

Heck, the closing night film had something like seven producers …

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 16, 2008 2:08 PM

RSS icon Comments

1

Congratulations, Will in Seattle! A major newspaper officially considers you an idiot! You're famous!

Who knows how far this could take you... Maybe John Williams will produce a movie about you!

Posted by Scalpel | June 16, 2008 4:24 PM
2

A major newspaper?

That's a link to The Stranger ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 16, 2008 4:34 PM
3

A "major" newspaper?
Wait, it should probably be "major" "news" paper.
It is printed on paper, right?

Posted by Flurf | June 16, 2008 4:36 PM
4

I don't think SLOG is printed on anything. Except maybe by Fnarf.

But electrons were mercilessly forced to travel along copper wires in the process of making your video monitor show you the words, Flurf.

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 16, 2008 4:40 PM
5

FADE-IN INT. KITCHEN OF WILL IN SEATTLE HOME-MEDIUM SHOT WILL IN SEATTLE - DAY

WILL IN SEATTLE, age 30s, quickly moves from the stove to the kitchen table.

CLOSE-UP - TOASTER

Toast pops up in the toaster. We SEE WILL'S HAND quickly pull out the toast.

WIDE SHOT - KITCHEN

We HEAR a KETTLE WHISTLE. He quickly moves to the stove to turn off the burner.

WILL (calling)
Dominic, I saw those design plans. For the new building. There's not enough green space!

He takes a pan of oatmeal off the stove and pours it in four bowls on the kitchen table. DOMINIC HOLDEN, age 8, bursts into the room.

WILL (continuing to Dominic)
And 90 stories is not 100 stories! I expect that height to get put right.

MEDIUM SHOT DOMINIC (sitting down)
Bullshit. You make the stupidest comments. Even the hyphenates hate you.

WILL (throwing hands up and storming to the table)
Dominic! Damn it! I feel like Patricia Neal in "The Fountainhead." Do you think that's easy? Well it isn't. Now eat your oatmeal and get to that damn job at that damn paper.

WILL - MEDIUM SHOT (as he runs offstage). A roll of paper towels falls onto the stove, catches fire and burns down the entire house.

THE BURNING HOUSE - LONG SHOT - Dominic is seen crawling out the dog door to safety.

THE END

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | June 16, 2008 4:44 PM
6

FADE-IN INT. KITCHEN OF WILL IN SEATTLE HOME-MEDIUM SHOT WILL IN SEATTLE - DAY

WILL IN SEATTLE, age 30s, quickly moves from the stove to the kitchen table.

CLOSE-UP - TOASTER

Toast pops up in the toaster. We SEE WILL'S HAND quickly pull out the toast.

WIDE SHOT - KITCHEN

We HEAR a KETTLE WHISTLE. He quickly moves to the stove to turn off the burner.

WILL (calling)
Dominic, I saw those design plans. For the new building. There's not enough green space!

He takes a pan of oatmeal off the stove and pours it in four bowls on the kitchen table. DOMINIC HOLDEN, age 8, bursts into the room.

WILL (continuing to Dominic)
And 90 stories is not 100 stories! I expect that height to get put right.

MEDIUM SHOT DOMINIC (sitting down)
Bullshit. You make the stupidest comments. Even the hyphenates hate you.

WILL (throwing hands up and storming to the table)
Dominic! Damn it! I feel like Patricia Neal in "The Fountainhead." Do you think that's easy? Well it isn't. Now eat your oatmeal and get to that damn job at that damn paper.

WILL - MEDIUM SHOT (as he runs offstage). A roll of paper towels falls onto the stove, catches fire and burns down the entire house.

THE BURNING HOUSE - LONG SHOT - Dominic is seen crawling out the dog door to safety.

THE END

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | June 16, 2008 4:44 PM
7

That's not even in the top 20 stupidest WiS comments of the last week.

Posted by wtf | June 16, 2008 4:45 PM
8

Gotten sie milch?

Posted by Will in Electron Free Seattle | June 16, 2008 4:51 PM
9

Will makes an excellent point. People die every day, so there is no point in being talented, skillful, or accomplished, and people who are shouldn't be mourned, they should be hounded, trapped and beaten to death. Someone else will come along to do a shitty job soon enough.

I think Will regards movie-watching as a statistical event. It makes no difference to him whether the film is interesting or beautiful or well-made or well-written or well-acted as long as he gets those minutes in. We've seen how he inflates the length of the movies he watches, too. "That was three-and-a-half hours long; I give it four stars".

Posted by Fnarf | June 16, 2008 4:52 PM
10

I find it more interesting that Will imagines people growing on trees in groves.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | June 16, 2008 4:56 PM
11

I love when Slog goes meta like this. BA's comment is hilarious.

Posted by laterite | June 16, 2008 4:59 PM
12

Hi Jonah, are you sure you want to be calling out commenters and posting "stupid comment of the week"? Slog is what it is because of the comments. It's a messy free-for-all, but I'm not sure what is gained by picking on one and making a case of it. WiS might be a goon, but he's not ecce homo. I don't really get what is accomplished by generating further online abuse. I mean, basically you just spritzed fresh blood in front of a pack of hungry wolves. Just a thought.

Posted by Bystander | June 16, 2008 5:06 PM
13

Aw, come on. WiS is generally not abusive or rude; he's just a bullshitter, and what would this comments section be without the opportunity to bullshit free of inhibition?

Posted by tsm | June 16, 2008 5:10 PM
14

I admit it, I've joined the Will pile-on at times. But since the Chelsea debacle I've gained new respect for how Will refuses to be driven from the Slog by insults. Good on ya' Will! Now how about something off topic about your military service?

Posted by Gurldoggie | June 16, 2008 5:19 PM
15

Kelly O and Ari Spool give Will in Seattle can of Rize, Will in Seattle drink Rize, freak out, Hulk out, WILL IN SEATTLE BECOME HULK!

HULK WILL SMASH PUNY STRANGER EDITOR!

And no, I'm not letting it go.


Posted by The Incredible Sulk | June 16, 2008 5:19 PM
16

@10 - to me, life is like in the SIFF movie Mermaid.

Except with a happy ending.

And your hero worship of a guy that I don't regard as especially talented, regardless of his official accolades (which are numerous), doesn't make me regard him as any better than the sound guy from F/X .

Call me a cynic, but seriously folks, you choose some really strange people to idolize.

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 16, 2008 5:19 PM
17

Let us break down the stupidity in that comment shall we?

Oh, give it a rest

All i said as #3 (albeit in all caps), was that you missed the point of the post. Now we will analyze how the rest of your comment supports the position that my post was incorrect, and therefore i should "give it a rest".

they grow producers, executive producers, script writers, actors, directors, and all that in orange groves all over Cali, @3.

Actually, they grow oranges in those, and not all over California. At least i am guessing you meant California, but we don't call it "Cali" here. As for the glut of other people that work in the film industry... they are, by and large, nameless and their work is not instantly recognizable around the world. Also they are still living so their work gets reviewed in other posts. See the difference? Or is it too dark where your head is?

Heck, the closing night film had something like seven producers

...something like seven producers. Seven people you did not name for a film you did not name at a festival you did not name. Seven people who are apparently not associated with some of the most famous images in science fiction films in a career spanning decades. What does that have to do with Stan's passing? Oh, right. They are still alive so his passing and the loss of his creative genius is not worthy of a slog post.


I am at the end of your comment, but i did not see the part where you demonstrate how i was incorrect in stating that in #2 you MISSED THE FUCKING POINT. Or were you trying to support my position by continuing to MISS THE FUCKING POINT?

Posted by jebus h crist | June 16, 2008 5:21 PM
18

I never make Stupid Poster of the Day.

:(

Posted by NapoleonXIV | June 16, 2008 5:28 PM
19

Who said I had to "get" "your" "point"?

It's a blog. Grow up. We don't have:

1. Rules
2. Courtesy
3. Fair Play
4. Respect
5. To read your pitiful blog post

Now, obviously, the reverse is true, in that weak sisters (in the classic sense, not the gender sense) like our Guest Slogger sometimes run crying off when they get piled on.

And, especially to ECB (and mostly other females) the SLOG is unfair in their critiques.

But, sorry, in the grand scheme of things, his death, was not a death most geeks really gave a flying (insert choice single anglo saxon word of four letters) about.

Wake me up when Harry H dies.

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 16, 2008 5:37 PM
20

@19: Trying to out-stupid your previous Stupid Comment Of The Day will not likely result in more attention from Jonah, if that's what you're seeking.

Posted by jebus h crist | June 16, 2008 6:04 PM
21

You're a Harry Hamlin fan too, Will?!

Posted by Paulus | June 16, 2008 6:23 PM
22

Wake me up when Harry H dies.

Harry Houdini died in 1926. Harry Hamlin is still alive.

If you're talking about Ray Harryhausen (aka Ray H), will do.

Posted by Animation_Guy | June 16, 2008 6:26 PM
23

Jubilation-

Less Will more Toaster. I gotta have more Toaster.

Posted by ZanderB | June 16, 2008 6:44 PM
24

Bush is the most pro-stupid president we have ever had. America needs to stand strong with Stupidity now. The Stranger has gone against conventional Seattle wisdom and been pro-stupid. Bush is the best American president Stupidity has ever known, and many in the Seattle Jewish community appreciate what Bush has done for stupid.

Posted by Josh | June 16, 2008 6:44 PM
25

@19 I'm a girl, but I manage to play in the Slog sandbox mostly unscathed. I'm beginning to wonder what that says about me...

I do appreciate Will's "never give up, never give in" attitude to posting on Slog. Even though his comments drive me crazy, I think I might miss them if he stopped posting.

To balance out my sweet, here's my sour, "Will, did you leave your brain on the short bus this morning? Your comments on Slog today have been particularly wacked out."

p.s. Incredible sulk, why the hell are you sulking?

Posted by PopTart | June 16, 2008 6:54 PM
26

LOL, you actually think I'm sulking?

Tell you what, why don't you go ask Gwen Ifill what her plans are?

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 16, 2008 7:35 PM
27
Posted by jebus h crist | June 16, 2008 7:53 PM
28

@26 You buffoon I don't think you are sulking, I was referring to @15, "The Incredible Sulk" who has some sort of hard on about Rize or the Incredible Hulk, I'm not sure which.

Seriously Will your comments today are more disjointed than usual.

Posted by PopTart | June 16, 2008 7:58 PM
29

Right on PopTart! What it says about you is good.

Plus, there are like 7 other women at the Stranger who don't get any crap when the post on the Slog. ECB is really the only one who has a train of sexist critics who hang on her every word (weirdos!).

Posted by elenchos | June 16, 2008 8:03 PM
30

It's not just today...Will's been a little loopy all week. I honest-to-God have the demographers comment thread bookmarked for future giggles: Women were bred to die in childbirth! A lot of people eat rice, which proves it, you idiot Americans! Just look at a European cemetery if you don't believe him!

Posted by the hell? | June 16, 2008 8:26 PM
31

Maybe the commenters should have a "stupid Slog post of the day".

Posted by rb | June 16, 2008 8:37 PM
32

first stop here, next stop lj drama

Posted by hameth | June 16, 2008 9:29 PM
33

Sorry 31 but Savage owns that one every time he slaps up a Every Child Deserves a ...

Or we could just retire him to Stupid Post Hall of Fame and exempt those.

Posted by Bob | June 17, 2008 4:27 AM
34

This comment thread needs more profanity.

Ahem.

Spam purse, cunny dollop, frightful rogering, clambake, paula abdul.

Much better.

Posted by joh | June 17, 2008 7:19 AM
35

Wow, how did I not catch that demographers comment thread? That was comedy gold. I missed out on all the fun in Slog this week somehow.

Posted by tsm | June 17, 2008 7:46 AM
36

@22 haha burn!

And yes the geeks do give a flying fuck about Winston.

Posted by Rotten666 | June 17, 2008 7:52 AM
37

Will pretty much sums up the exact reason that I avoid SIFF like the plague - A bunch of self-important windbags too busy pontificating to actually notice the best things about the movies. I hope you got your $50/200/1500 worth.

Posted by Clint | June 17, 2008 11:40 AM

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