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Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Re: The George W. Bush Sewage Plant

posted by on June 25 at 10:23 AM

The question really isn’t “Why didn’t we think of this,” Jen, but “Why don’t we do this too?”

Every time I pass through George H. W. Bush airport in Houston, Texas, or the Reagan National in D.C., this thought runs through my head: One day I’m gonna fly into George W. Bush International Airport and my head is going to explode. The right is aggressive about getting shit named after their ex-presidents—anyone flown into William J. Clinton International Airport lately? or James Carter International?—and the left isn’t. It’s part of their Great Man/Dear Leader/crypto-fascist schtick.

Anyway, you can bet your ass that when Mr. 23% is out of office—oh, blessed day—right-wing sycophants will set about memorializing W by naming airports, highways, federal buildings, flower pots, and children after him. This name-shit-after-W campaign will organized and aggressive and it will have two primary goals: Make right-wingers feel better about voting the moron into office in the first place (exonerating themselves, really, for the damage he’s done to this country) and confuse future generations of voters about just how universally loathed this president was.

So naming naming sewage treatment plants—or other suitably disgusting facilities—after the bastard seems like a great idea to me. The campaign to name shit after W once he’s out of office will be political; a political campaign to name sewage plants after him before he gets out of office is just good defense. And it is not, as some in the comments would have it, a waste of time and effort. Humor has its place at the ballot box. If gathering signatures to memorialize W in this way gets people involved, and if the chance to name a sewage treatment plant after W brings more people to the polls (or their mailboxes) come November, then it’s all to to the good.

So: What shall we name after the bastard?

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Rename the Alaskan Way Viaduct.

Posted by blank12357 | June 25, 2008 10:27 AM

It's a shame the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is often the by-product of anal sex is already taken.

Posted by Queen Vidor | June 25, 2008 10:29 AM

Your next kid.

Posted by Rufio (From Hook) | June 25, 2008 10:31 AM

Rename Plum Island Animal Desease Center. At least there, one can find those pesky bio-warfare WMD.

Posted by Snarky | June 25, 2008 10:33 AM

If renaming a sewage treatment plant after GWB seems too much like copying San Francisco, we could always rename a jail after him. Or maybe a transfer station. Or that methane-gas-leaking landfill down near Federal Way.

Posted by Reverse Polarity | June 25, 2008 10:36 AM

I just took a massive shit and named it The George Walker Bush Memorial Massive Shit.


Posted by Mike in MO | June 25, 2008 10:36 AM

Isn't there a detention facility in Cuba currently un-named?

I imagine some gate in the border fence needs naming, as well.

Posted by six shooter | June 25, 2008 10:38 AM

The monorail, because of course they both go nowhere

Posted by Randy beaver | June 25, 2008 10:39 AM

A prison! to honor all the prisoner and human rights abuses that came from his administration.

Posted by DJSauvage | June 25, 2008 10:39 AM

Too bad we're removing those pay toilets/shooting galleries. Isn't the Army building a new facility for amputee rehab? But not here. Around here I'd go for the sewage plant, especially because every city has one and so across the country we can unite in naming them all after him.

Posted by elenchos | June 25, 2008 10:40 AM

How about the proposed nature path around Lake Union? You know, the Circum-Union Nature Trail?

Posted by Ziggity | June 25, 2008 10:41 AM

Go figure Houston renaming their airport after a president that was popular in, and from Texas. And are we really complaining about Reagan getting stuff named after him? I mean wasn't he one of the most popular presidents since FDR?

Clinton not having something named after him I suppose is somewhat surprising. But then again what kind of jokes would go on about the bathrooms at Clinton Intl. Airport? I'm not saying that is doesn't deserve is. Just is name is strongly correlated with some undesirable things.

And Carter, really? I'm sure he's getting his rightful dues somewhere in Georgia.

Come to NY where you can fly into JFK and then drive around on the FDR. Two democrats that never got enough recognition.

Posted by DW | June 25, 2008 10:43 AM

Oil derricks off the coast of Florida.

Posted by Nat | June 25, 2008 10:44 AM

George W. Bush center for corporate welfare.

George "What global warming?" Bush relocation camp for flood victims.

George "Waterboarding" Bush torture methods thinktank.

Posted by Emily G | June 25, 2008 10:45 AM

nothing. nothing should be named after his. it should be as if he never existed.

Posted by max solomon | June 25, 2008 10:50 AM

How about the George W. Bush Memorial Fun Forest at Seattle Center, just before they tear it all down?

Posted by Bub | June 25, 2008 10:51 AM

My first choice:
The George W. Bush Memorial National Debt.
Honorable mention:
A cheap boat that will sink as soon as launched.
A Libraray - for Irony.

Posted by Dan | June 25, 2008 10:51 AM

Key Arena.

Posted by DOUG. | June 25, 2008 10:53 AM

@12 -- George Herbert Walker Bush is not from Texas.

George Herbert Walker Bush was not popular in Texas.

You're proving the point.

Posted by six shooter | June 25, 2008 10:56 AM

Arctic National Wildlife Refuge
= The George W. Bush Arctic National Wildlife Refuge

Lake Pontchartrain = Lake G.W. Bush

Posted by cochise. | June 25, 2008 10:56 AM

The Hanford Nuclear Waste Disposal Site. Eastern Washingtonians (in general) love him, so why not give them something glowing to remember him by?

Posted by DaiBando | June 25, 2008 10:58 AM

In some parts of the civilized world, they do name things after Democrats.

(Or so says a graduate of Lyndon Baines Johnson High School.)

Posted by DL | June 25, 2008 11:00 AM

Do we have any superfund cleanup sites?

Posted by superyeadon | June 25, 2008 11:11 AM

Wasn't JFK airport named after a Democrat?

Posted by DOUG. | June 25, 2008 11:11 AM

I like @1. Then we can blow it up once it's been renamed.

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 25, 2008 11:12 AM

The Peace Arch border crossing to Canada.

Posted by DLF | June 25, 2008 11:18 AM


I like it, but it should also be renamed a "nucular waste" disposal site.

Posted by AMB | June 25, 2008 11:19 AM

The Duwamish River Superfund site down in South Park.

Posted by alight | June 25, 2008 11:22 AM

The Barbara Bush Abortion Clinic, with a plaque at the front door that reads "Because some day, it might be President".

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | June 25, 2008 11:26 AM

Ugh, did I really just make a joke about Abortion?

Let me just apologize to all the women of the world in advance.

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | June 25, 2008 11:35 AM

@29: Win.

Posted by Original Monique | June 25, 2008 11:36 AM

I think a landfill or garbage dump would be good.

Or a glacier. Preferably a rapidly disappearing one.

Posted by Julie | June 25, 2008 11:38 AM

@19 George W Bush WAS born in CT, but he hailed from Texas

He WAS popular in texas and disowned.

As for dedicating national treasures after our president. I propose the GWB nuclear waste storage facility at Yucca mountain.

Posted by OR Matt | June 25, 2008 11:43 AM

I like the idea of the sewage treatment plant... but, it doesn't really work symbolically. Sewage treatment plants take something shitty and make it okay. George W. Bush took something okay ('Merica) and made it pretty shitty.

Posted by Julie | June 25, 2008 11:47 AM

@33 -- George W Bush can claim to be from Texas. George HW Bush cannot.

Posted by six shooter | June 25, 2008 11:54 AM

OR Matt @33, you're confusing George W. Bush with George H. W. Bush.  The Houston airport is named for the father.

The airport was renamed George Bush Intercontinental Airport/Houston in 1997, in honor of Former President George Bush. President Bush is a long time resident of Houston and was present at the airport's opening in 1969 when he was a Member of Congress representing the Houston area.
Posted by lostboy | June 25, 2008 11:54 AM

Fuck Texas. Is Texas even American? Didn't they illegally sneak the whole state across the border and then pretend like they belonged here? Texas ruined a great country but it's not too late to make it right.

Posted by elenchos | June 25, 2008 12:05 PM

How about the George W. Bush Memorial TSA Strip-Search Room in each of our nations' airports?

Posted by Providence | June 25, 2008 12:05 PM

How about renaming the rehabilitation division at Madigan Army Medical Center in GWB's honor?

Posted by ugh | June 25, 2008 12:13 PM

Naming a sewage treatment plant in honor of shrub is an insult to sewage treatment plants everywhere.

Even naming a presidential library after him seems inappropriate, since the only book we know for certain he's ever read was "My Pet Goat".

If we're going the sex act route, I would recommend we slap his name on a BDSM scene wherein the top repeatedly tells the bottom what they are about to do won't hurt at all - at which point the bottom is waterboarded, anally probed for WMD's, and has all the money removed from their wallet.

Oh, right. And there's no safe word.

Posted by COMTE | June 25, 2008 12:27 PM

@21 --- That's an excellent idea. And it will symbolize how lasting the damage that he managed to do in 8 years really is.

Posted by A long-term reminder | June 25, 2008 12:37 PM

The George W. Bush Memorial Outhouse at every state and federal park. Make it the men's outhouse since he is a Republican.

Posted by tas | June 25, 2008 12:37 PM

@31, agreed, @29 wins.

Posted by alywishus | June 25, 2008 12:47 PM

The George W. Bush Meorial Fuckslave Breeding Ranch

Posted by Max | June 25, 2008 1:01 PM

i think prisons, abortion clinics, and land fills are all great ideas. but i think i would go for a vd clinic, because dubya has been so very similar to a horrible infection.

Posted by douglas | June 25, 2008 1:12 PM

An act, usually by a political organization, of singular short-sightedness and/or incompetence.


A beautiful contribution of language, from a man who can barely speak.

Posted by natopotato | June 25, 2008 1:15 PM

How about renaming the Berkeley Pit after GWB?

Posted by Laura | June 25, 2008 1:53 PM

Yeah, let's name some shit after the lousy president - that'll learn 'im!

Posted by umvue | June 25, 2008 2:22 PM

How about the George W. Bush Nucular Waste Disposal Facility in Richmond, WA?

Posted by monkey | June 25, 2008 2:58 PM

George W Bush memorial douchebag. A big DOUCHEBAG!

Posted by Vince | June 25, 2008 3:28 PM

The Love Canal.

Posted by Ptizelov | June 25, 2008 7:11 PM

George W Bush Memorial Homeless Encampment

Posted by efnord | June 26, 2008 2:56 AM

forget bush. he's not even running things. let's name something unpleasant after dick cheney. it would be more appropriate to memorialize "that man behind the curtain." to quote the wizard of oz.

Posted by ellarosa | June 26, 2008 8:21 AM

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