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Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Not Exactly on the Garden Tour

posted by on June 18 at 17:26 PM

The sign:


The garden:


I’m not a gardener myself, but I think a little dog shit in there would improve this “garden.”

UPDATE: I should’ve seen this objection coming: “Maybe it sucks because people keep letting their dog piss in it,” w7ngman writes in the comments thread. “DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT?” The evidence that it wasn’t dog piss that destroyed an otherwise lovely little garden can be found less than twenty feet away….


This little garden patch is lovely and lush, and just steps away from the dirt patch shown above. And there’s no note on the tree from an angry group of gardeners (“our garden”) demanding that dog owners to curb their pets.

Case closed.

RSS icon Comments


Easy, fussmaster.

Posted by Miss Stereo | June 18, 2008 5:39 PM

"please stop leaving passive aggressive signs on our tree"

Posted by brett | June 18, 2008 5:44 PM

isn't that the city's garden, time for a passive-aggressive counter note.

Posted by vooodooo84 | June 18, 2008 5:50 PM

damn you vooodooo, you beat me to it.

Posted by monkey | June 18, 2008 5:55 PM

Here's the deal folks. I try to keep my dog out of people's gardens. I'm thankful to live near a park so my dog doesn't do his business in someone's front lawn. But as a gardener, I learned a long time ago NOT to plant things that you care about near the sidewalk--ever. Another helpful tip is don't ever plant tomato plants or anything else you're planning on harvesting where dogs can pee.

But you're right, Dan. That thing looks like Charlie Brown's garden.

Posted by Balt-O-Matt | June 18, 2008 5:55 PM

They need to stop with the notes and just put up a little wire fence, or at the very least, some sticks connected by string. ANYTHING that says to passerbyes, "hey, I trying to garden up in the square". As it stands now, I'd totally take a dump there.

Posted by Dougsf | June 18, 2008 6:04 PM

check out A great time waster when you should be working.

Posted by rotten666 | June 18, 2008 6:06 PM

Brett @ 2: LOL! You win.

Douglasf @ 6: Are you homeless or something? Do homeless people have computers?

Posted by David Wright | June 18, 2008 6:08 PM

A little dog shit in your mouth, Dan, would improve the words coming out of it.

Posted by ecce homo | June 18, 2008 6:09 PM

Maybe it sucks because people keep letting their dog piss in it. DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT?

Posted by w7ngman | June 18, 2008 6:16 PM

um, i am pretty sure that is city property, not the homeowner's. eitherway, i'd wish drunk ass cock-luvin fraternity b*tches would stop pissing on my garden in fremont. fuckin losers.

Posted by mike | June 18, 2008 6:17 PM

You have a much nicer view from the veranda of your back 40, right Little Lord Savage? "Silas! Another mint julep!"

Posted by Heath Barkley | June 18, 2008 6:19 PM

Please keep your pet out of our garden, but feel free to tag the tree.

Posted by Mahtli69 | June 18, 2008 6:31 PM

Kelly O and Ari Spool give Dan Savage can of Rize, Dan Savage drink Rize, freak out, Hulk out, DAN SAVAGE BECOME HULK!


And no, I don't feel like letting it go.

Posted by The Incredible Sulk | June 18, 2008 6:32 PM

Dan, either way, it's good manners to pick up ECB's lil droppings when you walk her...

Posted by You_Gotta_Be_Kidding_Me | June 18, 2008 6:43 PM

I had a garden with black-eyed susans around a street sign on the corner. Those things are weeds and usually spread. Everyone let their f*cking dogs piss on em and they died off by the 3rd year.

Posted by Mr. Designer | June 18, 2008 6:46 PM

What neighborhood is this? Could be rabbits. What are you growing?

Posted by elswinger | June 18, 2008 6:58 PM

Oh shit, I'm on the front page. Time to get drunk!

Posted by w7ngman | June 18, 2008 7:00 PM

In all seriousness, you're right, that garden does blow. It reminds me of the garden in the middle of Thomas Street Park. Last year it had some crazy 5 ft plants and a fence to keep the dogs out. This year, those are dead, and they haven't really done anything with it.

In other news, my apartment managers FINALLY took care of our garden after over a year. We had some nice 4 foot weeds, and some of them were taking over the walkway. Unfortunately they did not prune the 15 square foot patch of sage that has been inching its way onto my porch. I might have to go guerrilla on its ass.

Posted by w7ngman | June 18, 2008 7:10 PM

this is part of why we should eat dogs and their owners. dogs are so fucking disgusting!

Posted by high and bi | June 18, 2008 7:16 PM

as a professional gardener, i have to say this: plant indestructible, tough-as-nails plants near the sidewalk, and remember to water every now and then. the dog business--it's inevitable. plant accordingly, and don't get too attached. the signs are the product of bitter, silly people.

Posted by ellarosa | June 18, 2008 7:38 PM

"Lovely and lush"? Fucking ivy and grass? Ivy will grow in toxic waste; it's a virulent invasive and should be ripped out wherever seen.

Posted by Fnarf | June 18, 2008 7:40 PM

I'd let my dog pee on this boring ass post. Ehh wingman's banter saved it. guten tag sir

Posted by ZwBush | June 18, 2008 7:49 PM

Is that wite-out on top of the plastic cover over the sign? What word is under it?

"Please keep your pet out of ___ our garden Thank you"

"the fuck"?

"fucking hell"?

"fucking fuck"?

"Jesus' and"?

I don't know what word belongs there.

Posted by elenchos | June 18, 2008 8:19 PM

That isn't a garden anyway. It's a tree hole. What the fuck is he/she growing anyway? Weeds?

It doesn't even look like a garden. Perhaps if you cleaned it up and cared for it people wouldn't use it as a convenient toilet, which is what it looks like.

Posted by robot2501 | June 18, 2008 8:37 PM

That lush patch nearby doesn't mean squat. Dogs piss over other dogs' piss so the other patch is probably just stuck in a continuous stream (hehe) of alternating pissers.

Posted by Blunderplank | June 18, 2008 8:44 PM

@24, it looks like "our", like they typed "our" twice, and instead of redoing their note, used wite-out. Classy!

Dan, if they hadn't used the word "garden", would you still take umbrage? What if their sign just said "Don't let your dog shit in this patch of dirt"?

Posted by rb | June 18, 2008 8:49 PM

That second one's not a garden, Dan, PLEASE! It's mostly ivy which is the most invasive plant around here. It's so toxic that it probably thrives on dog piss.

Posted by Morgan | June 18, 2008 8:54 PM

case closed, unless it's garden #2's dog doing most of the pissing.

neighbors are assholes.

Posted by Chloe | June 18, 2008 8:57 PM

Just here to jump on the that-fucking-ivy-is-a-nasty-invasive-... and should never be mentioned in the same sentence with words like "lovely" and "garden" and "and".

Posted by umvue | June 18, 2008 9:21 PM

i don't know about pissing on gardens, but i have stepped in more dog shit walking down boren and union than anyplace else (rural, suburban, or otherwise). maybe i should fixate on the ground while i'm walking, but seriously: who would expect dog shit to be strewn about the sidewalks of an urban area.

Posted by unlucky | June 18, 2008 9:44 PM

I thought the sign was a joke. It made me giggle.

Posted by Justin | June 18, 2008 11:30 PM

The sign is too high for the pets to read.

And the jerkwads letting their dog pee or poop in the space can't read either, so having it at their height isn't useful either.

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 18, 2008 11:51 PM

this is such a laughably fussy city.

Posted by pretentious | June 18, 2008 11:55 PM

@10: I agree. Also, with dog oneupsmanship every canine in the city will try to pee there. It becomes one big, uh, pissing contest.

Dog urine in itself isn't necessarily deadly but the diets of most dogs - yes, I mean most store bought dog foods - makes the little buggers produce something akin to battery acid.

Posted by saxfanatic | June 19, 2008 3:49 AM

Dogs pissing on our front garden drives me crazy… I even put up stones around the border to block access, but it wasn’t a high enough barrier. The only things that live there now are hostas. It makes me even more annoyed because I have a dog and I’m careful not to let him pee on plants. That being said, yes, that garden is a shithole. If there’s nothing but dirt and weeds in an area, I don’t see anything wrong with letting a dog go there.

Posted by Julie | June 19, 2008 7:34 AM

@11 - I hope you don't mind, but I'm coming over Friday and Saturday to hang out in your garden. I'll bring my own beer.

Posted by sleestak | June 19, 2008 8:20 AM

ivy looks cool on old buildings

Posted by Bellevue Ave | June 19, 2008 8:50 AM

@31: You can thank the residents of the Sovereign Apartments (the old brick building in the middle of the block) for the deposits. There are at least 20 dogs in that building and their shit is all over the block because their owners can't be arsed to pick up their precious pets. In 2006, the city had to tear out a planting strip near University and Terry due to toxic build up of dog droppings.

Posted by Fellow Turd Skidder | June 19, 2008 9:26 AM

Could be worse. They could be leaving old computer monitors there.

Posted by PA Native | June 19, 2008 9:30 AM

40 - great idea, thanks!

Posted by wbrproductions | June 19, 2008 9:56 AM

1)It's in the right of way and is NOT a private garden. It's nice they want to beautify the area, but dumb and impractical.

2)I'll pee where I damn well feel like it!

Posted by michael strangeways | June 19, 2008 12:10 PM

These kinds of areas are *technically* city property but building owners are responsible for their upkeep.

"Yeah, we own it sucker and we'll restrict what you can do with it, but you have to mow, edge, seed and otherwise care for it if you don't want it covered in abandoned shopping carts and littered with human and animal refuse."

If someone has gone to the trouble of putting in a raised bed, it's a good bet that they are trying to great a barrier to prevent people and animals walking over it and protect the plants. Is it so hard to keep dogs out of raised beds? Really?

Then I guess when you get down to it people are just no damned good.


Posted by The Gay Curmudgeon | June 19, 2008 12:14 PM

Case not closed!

Dogs like to pee where the other dogs peed. The tree on "garden" number two didn't get the first dog pee, and so dogs ignore it, but the tree with the sign on it probably gets constantly peed on, to the point where crabgrass would not grow.

The only thing that's going to help that patch of dirt is a fence around it. Definitely not a sign.

Posted by Phoebe | June 19, 2008 12:15 PM

That sign does not qualify as a passive-aggressive act. The writer clearly makes his/her point, it is actually politely assertive. A pasive-aggressive message would be: "This little garden would be so much better if you didn't allow your dog to ruin it" Disclosure: I do not know who placed that sign or where it is.

Posted by inkweary | June 19, 2008 2:48 PM

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