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Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Moby-Dick Fanfic

posted by on June 3 at 12:44 PM

Being a certifiable Moby-Dick freak (custom embroidered throw blankets are involved), I went to see Captain Ahab last Friday night at the Uptown. I was disappointed.

Brendan’s review—“the deadly sea pulling Ahab like the moon pulls the tides”—is so much more interesting and lovely than the actual movie, which, in my opinion, is just psychologically shallow, mostly humorless, not-even-pretty-to-look-at Moby-Dick fanfic. Ahab’s development moves forward in leaps and lurches, without explanation beyond the vague notion that Nobody Puts Ahab in a Corner. Well, we already knew that. What else’ve you got? Grown Ahab is too powerful, young Ahab too uncertain, to justify one another. And neither of them comes anywhere close to Melville’s Ahab. So why bother?

My friend and I did laugh, painfully and uncontrollably, at the “What Do You Do With a Drunken Sailor” fast-motion whaling sequence (seriously, France, y’all are bonkers).

Also, dude, YOUR PEG LEG LOOKS LIKE AN ALBINO WIFFLEBALL BAT. You should take that shit back.

Before the movie, in the middle of Andy Spletzer’s “Blah blah blah, you don’t have to have read the book, blaaaaaah…” introduction, the man to our right (who, apparently, has sat through one too many blah blah blah SIFF speeches) muttered, with unrestrained malice, “I wish you would just shut your fucking mouth.” That was the most interesting part of the whole night.

It’s playing again today at SIFF Cinema, 4:30 pm. It’s not terrible. But it’s not Melville.

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Posted by Paulus | June 3, 2008 1:23 PM

the first half was good, but it fell apart after that.

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 3, 2008 1:49 PM

I really liked the movie. This is another reason why I try not to read reviews before seeing a movie.

Posted by D. | June 3, 2008 2:22 PM

@3: As Lindy notes, Brendan--who wrote the review in our guide--really liked the movie. In fact, it scored a coveted "DON'T MISS!" Aren't you glad you didn't miss it? Don't you wish you read his review?

Posted by annie | June 3, 2008 2:58 PM

Um, I could have missed it ... and been quite ok with that ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 3, 2008 3:02 PM

I wasn't talking to you, Will. I know you didn't like it.

Posted by annie | June 3, 2008 3:30 PM

I didn't say I didn't like it - I gave it a 3.

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 3, 2008 3:49 PM

Tell us how you really feel, Will.

Posted by Fnarf | June 3, 2008 3:55 PM

You gave it a 3? Where? In your wee widdle notebook?

Posted by Lew in Seattle | June 3, 2008 3:55 PM

"Nobody puts Ahab in the Corner," eh?

I thought 'Nobody puts baby in the Corner' didn't count as funny anymore? You just have to change 'baby' to 'Ahab'? Still made me laugh, I'm stealing it.

Oh, right on to the angry patron! I don't understand why creative people don't just let the work speak for itself. Curtain speeches make me want to barf blood!

Posted by Mark Siano | June 3, 2008 4:46 PM

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